Wild guess?
What's wrong with any of that? It's true. You are surely not suggesting that men are these sensitive communication experts who always express their emotions and feelings in clear, concise language?
Honest Opinion and/or Insight
- Thread starter lnmarsh
- Start date
What's wrong with any of that? It's true. You are surely not suggesting that men are these sensitive communication experts who always express their emotions and feelings in clear, concise language?
RedBaron
Bird of Prey
Repost 4 OP. There is Life out There
I was nice, & said Hey. @ least she read my posts & could decipher what i tiped. Very few can. & what i said is nunyas biz. So there.
Me = Candid - Yep, Bold - heck Yeah, Confident = Dbl Hell Yeah.
Sometimes you have 2 give sum1 a fair chance. If he or she cannot more than just express themselves, either in writing or verbally or even telephonically without true feelings & emotion, then it`s def time 2 move on. ...........or confront it Str8 up & accept the outcome. Take a timeout, & enjoy things u may have in yr shallow bucket list. Any relationship has to have that Open Communication, w/o any bs. Hell, doesn`t take the smooth talk, etc... crap just b yrself. If it aint rite, & ya have that slightest reasonable doubt, that`ll b more than justa simple w/e. Bookwise is 1 thing, application in Real Life is another. Stupidity is/or can b a learned behavior. Becoming smarter & understanding from past bs, makes ya even smarter. Lotsa ppl have been slam dunked 4 i dumazz reason or another. (Oh do i know by just bein me) if sum1 says they haven`t, they`re liein. feel free 2 correct typos, sp, but the txt is only mine. I`m not shy 2 tell it like it is. i culda tiped it in cmplt txt.Hang in there Inmarsh, u`ll b k, U`ll Do. ;-)
c i can tipe if & wenn i wanna.
where eva this 2n may fit: wakeup call
YouTube - Rob Thomas - Someday (Video)
100% connexité et bien connecté
Larry Gude
Strung Out
lovinmaryland
Well-Known Member
Soooo how did it go?
lnmarsh
Love * Luck * Faith
Whaddya know... Havnt heard from him.
I got the text from him around 1:30am on Friday saying "Just wanted to let you know Im home safe. Goodnight." Then nothing. At all. Until yesterday.
I knew he was supposed to come home yesterday. Now I know that checkout at any random hotel is around 10:00am. So I assumed he'd be home by 1:00-ish. So I honestly got worried when I hadnt heard from him come 3:00pm. I havnt gone that long w/o talking to him since he was in Iraq. My mind went from everything from "Did he make it home ok and just fall asleep?" to "Did he cheat on me?" to "Did he get arrested?" to "Is he even effing ALIVE?!" Ugg... So I texted him. I said "Im sorry for texting you because I know I said I wouldnt but I've gotten worried. I just want to make sure you're Ok." I didnt get anything back so I called. It rung 3 times and his voicemail came on... meaning he ignored my call. So I didnt get anything until literally midnight and even then all it was was a text that said "Yea Ill call you tomorrow."
Well, havnt heard from him. I texted him and asked "Do you work tonight?" because normally, he leaves to go to work about the time I head home from work so we dont see each other unless he dosnt have work. Now he has Sprint and I have Verizon, so normally there is no way for me to tell if hes actually read my texts... my phone dosnt let me know like if I were to text another Verizon person. Unless I send a picture message... then it tells me if he's read it. So i sent the "Do you work tonight?" text as a pictures message
. He opened it about an hour after I sent it (probably because he was sleeping). That was about two hours ago... And I havnt heard anything.At this point, Im desperate to talk to him. I just need to know WTF is going on! Even if its not what I want to hear, I just need to know.
Im honestly so blown on the issue I dont know whether to be mad at him for not talking to me for the past few days or to cry because I dont know for sure whats going through his head, but Im pretty sure hes just done. And I still dont understand why...
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Larry Gude
Strung Out
Start dating someone else - anyone, it doesn't matter. I'll bet you $10 he comes sniffing around the minute he finds out about it.
migtig
aka Mrs. Giant
That is actually really good advice. Dating - not hooking up. It'll keep your mind off him and get you out and about and even if he doesn't come back, you'll be having some fun instead of saying why me. Sitting around waiting on him is the worst thing you can do right now. Move forward.
C
CalvertNewbie
Guest
Whaddya know... Havnt heard from him.
I got the text from him around 1:30am on Friday saying "Just wanted to let you know Im home safe. Goodnight." Then nothing. At all. Until yesterday.
I knew he was supposed to come home yesterday. Now I know that checkout at any random hotel is around 10:00am. So I assumed he'd be home by 1:00-ish. So I honestly got worried. I havnt gone that long w/o talking to him since he was in Iraq. My mind went from everything from "Did he make it home ok and just fall asleep?" to "Did he cheat on me?" to "Did he get arrested?" to "Is he even effing ALIVE?!" Ugg... So I texted him. I said "Im sorry for texting you because I know I said I wouldnt but I've gotten worried. I just want to make sure you're Ok." I didnt get anything back so I called. It rung 3 times and his voicemail came on... meaning he ignored my call. So I didnt get anything until literally midnight and even then all it was was a text that said "Yea Ill call you tomorrow."
Well, havnt heard from him. I texted him and asked "Do you work tonight?" because normally, he leaves to go to work about the time I head home from work so we dont see each other unless he dosnt have work. Now he has Sprint and I have Verizon, so normally there is no way for me to tell if hes actually read my texts... my phone dosnt let me know like if I were to text another Verizon person. Unless I send a picture message... then it tells me if he's read it. So i sent the "Do you work tonight?" text as a pictures message
At this point, Im desperate to talk to him. I just need to know WTF is going on! Even if its not what I want to hear, I just need to know.
Im honestly so blown on the issue I dont know whether to be mad at him for not talking to me for the past few days or to cry because I dont know for sure whats going through his head, but Im pretty sure hes just done. And I still dont understand why...
Actions speak louder than words. I'm sorry to say this but it really sounds like he's done. He's acting like a child, not responding to his girlfriend's calls or texts. He owes you an explanation for his recent actions, you guys definitely need to talk. It sounds like he's taking the cowardly way out - instead of breaking up with you, it seems like he's trying to piss you off enough so that you break it off with him.
Now, of course I could be completely wrong. But honestly, he's playing games and you don't deserves that. Relationships shouldn't be so difficult. I went through hell in a couple of relationships in the past, to the extent that I almost thought that's just the way relationships were supposed to be. Then I met my hubby and we actually get along great, rarely fight, and never disrespect one another. Point being.....this is not the way every relationship will be. He sounds like a selfish person and if he's going to treat you like this after being with you for so long, you're truly better off without him. I know that sucks but it seems his heart is no longer in it. You deserve better, nobody should deal with disrespect. Life's too short to waste it with the wrong person.
C
CalvertNewbie
Guest
I know, I thought of that thread as I was typing out my response.
But there is a lot of truth to it, why else would people start acting like such jackasses when they're no longer happy in a relationship? I, myself, would rather just be told "goodbye" than have someone play mind games. I wish everyone would just be honest. Even though the truth sometimes hurts, it hurts a lot less than constantly wondering what is going on in someone's head as they treat you like crap. I just have such a low tolerance for BS that I would've kicked his butt to the curb already.
libertytyranny
Dream Stealer
Aww I'm sorry. If I can give you advice (and I will but likely you won't follow it, because it is tough ) Don't try to make him stay. Don't cry, don't think that if you convince him you love him enough he will...Don't beg for explanations or want to talk about it constantly. Ask him if he could meet you somewhere to talk and then let him explain what he needs to say, let him know he needs to be man enough to say what he needs to say..and then say ok. nice knowing you..and go cry at home. The dignity is worth FARR more than anything else. I lost my dignity once, and I will NEVER do it again. Because a little while down the line..you will totally regret it and realize how much BETTER things are than you thought they would be.
) Don't try to make him stay. Don't cry, don't think that if you convince him you love him enough he will...Don't beg for explanations or want to talk about it constantly. Ask him if he could meet you somewhere to talk and then let him explain what he needs to say, let him know he needs to be man enough to say what he needs to say..and then say ok. nice knowing you..and go cry at home. The dignity is worth FARR more than anything else. I lost my dignity once, and I will NEVER do it again. Because a little while down the line..you will totally regret it and realize how much BETTER things are than you thought they would be.
I don't know. A friend made me see this a bit differently awhile back. He's hurt you with dishonesty and poor behavior, so the very least you could do back is cry, scream, and beat him down until you feel better. If he wants drama instead of a healthy, mature, honest break-up - then by god, give it to him. He's going to paint you as a psycho to everyone who will listen to him anyway, no matter what you do. Might as well have some fun with it.
Of course, you have to have the stomach for that sort of thing.
libertytyranny
Dream Stealer
That's it.
I merely acted like I was sad rather than ok F you like I would have normally. That was enough for me to feel like a biatch. That's the way to be. then they look back sad they messed up..rather than glad they got away from clingy mess chick.
lnmarsh
Love * Luck * Faith
So he just called me. Im at work so the conversation was unfortunately brief (hes convinced that me talking on my work phone will get me fired so he never talks long until I can call him from my cell phone once I get off work).
I asked him how his weekend was. He said "Good, until yesterday." Apperently Saturday they all had plans to go out drinking, so he didnt take his pain meds and left them in his hotel room. Well they all went out to dinner, etc. and he decided it be best for him to actually drive home because a lot of the guys got way too drunk wayyy too fast. So he ended up not drinking and driving everyone back to the hotel. He said it was really late but his back wasnt really bothering him (for once) so he didnt take any of his meds except his mild muscle relaxer just to ensure he stayed asleep.
So yesterday rolled around, they all checked out, said their goodbyes, and headed home. He said his stomach was upset the entire morning so he put off taking his more powerful meds. Once he got halfway home, however, he said his back was really bothering him so he tried to take something for it. Well he puked that something right back up, and continued to puke until about 3 pm when he realized that not only did he probably have food poisioning from dinner the night before, but he was also starting to go through mild detox. So he went to the hospital. Where he stayed for about 6 hours (until around 11:00pm or so) until he was keeping fluids and his meds down. Which explains the short midnight text saying "Yea Ill call you tomorrow."
Now, would I have liked to have heard from him once he got home? Yes. However, being in the hospital for 6 hours is a good enough for me for him to not call. Especially since there is no cell reception at Calvert Memorial. That and considering he was basically going through detox, Im sure the furthest thing from his mind was calling me. Plus when he isnt feeling well, he dosnt want anyone around him. All the more reason for him to not call me because he knows me - I would have driven straight to the hospital. Im not making excuses for him (like I said I would have liked to have heard from him once he got home, etc), but puking and being hooked to IVs in the hospital w/o cell signal is a pretty good excuse for not calling. But I digress...
So after he explained all this he said "Well Im gonna let you get back to work. I just wanted to call and say Hi. Why dont you give me a call or stop by on your way home? Ill be here until 9:00 but then I have to leave for work." I said that I'd probably stop by, he said "Ok sounds good. I hope you have a good day, babe. Ill see you later. I love you. Bye."
That part right there makes me think maybe I was overreacting juuusssttt a lil bit this weekend. Now like I said, Im not making excused for him. Im defintiely going to ask why in the H3LL he didnt call me all weekend and probably give him a little shyt about it. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but eventually Ill say something about it (a female never forgets). Honestly, when it comes down to it, Im just glad hes OK and him saying that "I love you" part seems like a good sign.
Im not doing the happy dance yet - especially since Im a little irked about him not calling all weekend - but I'm definitely not in a I-Want-To-Crawl-In-A-Hole mood anymore
I knew, repeat K-N-E-W, that something was wrong yesterday. Around 3:00pm I got the uncontrollable urge to call him because suddenly, I got very worried. Gawd... my maternal instincts are going to be the death of me once I have kids
I asked him how his weekend was. He said "Good, until yesterday." Apperently Saturday they all had plans to go out drinking, so he didnt take his pain meds and left them in his hotel room. Well they all went out to dinner, etc. and he decided it be best for him to actually drive home because a lot of the guys got way too drunk wayyy too fast. So he ended up not drinking and driving everyone back to the hotel. He said it was really late but his back wasnt really bothering him (for once) so he didnt take any of his meds except his mild muscle relaxer just to ensure he stayed asleep.
So yesterday rolled around, they all checked out, said their goodbyes, and headed home. He said his stomach was upset the entire morning so he put off taking his more powerful meds. Once he got halfway home, however, he said his back was really bothering him so he tried to take something for it. Well he puked that something right back up, and continued to puke until about 3 pm when he realized that not only did he probably have food poisioning from dinner the night before, but he was also starting to go through mild detox. So he went to the hospital. Where he stayed for about 6 hours (until around 11:00pm or so) until he was keeping fluids and his meds down. Which explains the short midnight text saying "Yea Ill call you tomorrow."
Now, would I have liked to have heard from him once he got home? Yes. However, being in the hospital for 6 hours is a good enough for me for him to not call. Especially since there is no cell reception at Calvert Memorial. That and considering he was basically going through detox, Im sure the furthest thing from his mind was calling me. Plus when he isnt feeling well, he dosnt want anyone around him. All the more reason for him to not call me because he knows me - I would have driven straight to the hospital. Im not making excuses for him (like I said I would have liked to have heard from him once he got home, etc), but puking and being hooked to IVs in the hospital w/o cell signal is a pretty good excuse for not calling. But I digress...
So after he explained all this he said "Well Im gonna let you get back to work. I just wanted to call and say Hi. Why dont you give me a call or stop by on your way home? Ill be here until 9:00 but then I have to leave for work." I said that I'd probably stop by, he said "Ok sounds good. I hope you have a good day, babe. Ill see you later. I love you. Bye."
That part right there makes me think maybe I was overreacting juuusssttt a lil bit this weekend. Now like I said, Im not making excused for him. Im defintiely going to ask why in the H3LL he didnt call me all weekend and probably give him a little shyt about it. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but eventually Ill say something about it (a female never forgets). Honestly, when it comes down to it, Im just glad hes OK and him saying that "I love you" part seems like a good sign.
Im not doing the happy dance yet - especially since Im a little irked about him not calling all weekend - but I'm definitely not in a I-Want-To-Crawl-In-A-Hole mood anymore I knew, repeat K-N-E-W, that something was wrong yesterday. Around 3:00pm I got the uncontrollable urge to call him because suddenly, I got very worried. Gawd... my maternal instincts are going to be the death of me once I have kids
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onebdzee
off the shelf
been there, lived that....
have to add to it though...the guy paints you as the psycho b!tch from he!! and plays the "poor me, look at what she has done/did to me" bullsh!t(all the while they were the one the caused the issues to end the relationship) and there is always one(or 2) that fall for the crap
as the psycho b!tch from he!!....all I got to say is, what comes around, goes around
lnmarsh
Love * Luck * Faith
been there, lived that....
have to add to it though...the guy paints you as the psycho b!tch from he!! and plays the "poor me, look at what she has done/did to me" bullsh!t(all the while they were the one the caused the issues to end the relationship) and there is always one(or 2) that fall for the crap
as the psycho b!tch from he!!....all I got to say is, what comes around, goes around
Oh you're funny!!! I definitely LOL'ed at the "as the psycho b1tch from he!!..." part
Toxick
Splat
LadyWolf
New Member
Heres what I think, for whatever it is worth
Babies make men nervous. I am dealing with this myself, as it was not our timeline to have a baby at the moment. He may feel, (and I will explain why I think this in a moment) that losing the baby was some kind of "sign." Ridiculous? yes. But my SO's ex had a miscarriage (they didn't know she was pregnant) andhe told me later he had doubts about their relationship, and that had "sealed" it for him. Because he said he felt relief (as well as sadness) but that made him realize to be with her if she had the baby, would have made him unhappy.
Also, it could just be regular ole' cold feet. Babies make you question everything, even just the idea of one. And future, and growing up, and being responsible for someone other than yourself.
I would tell him that if he feels unsure, he is free to do as he wishes. and be prepared for him to walk away. Personally, I detest the thought of being a hanger-oner and wouldn't want to continue to try to keep someone with doubts that much. Let him know you love him and would like to continue your relationship (assuming you do) and he can call you if he feels the same way. It's hard, but if he walks away, you still have your dignity, if he doesn't you at least gave him the time and space to consider it.
I have to agree here also!!! Regardless of whether there was a baby or not, the baby may have triggered the emotion a little sooner, but perhaps it would have happened anyway. If he is having second thoughts, doubts, questions, whatever, just let it go. You can't hang on to someone who doesn't want to be held. It isn't fair to you or him. It will hurt like hell, but you will have dignity and respect for yourself and for him and his feelings. He will either realize he will miss you and want you back or he won't and you both will go your separate ways.