cattitude
My Sweetest Boy
Hard questions. My policy was that when my son asked, he got honest answers, no matter how young he was. I don't think he needs to hear that his mother is a loser. I would explain that you loved him and wanted to be with him all the time. Not sure of all the circumstances but you could say something along the lines of his brother needing to stay with the mom so he could be close to his dad because that's what his dad wanted. I'm assuming that all of your were in the same area when the separation/divorce happened. Tell Boy unfortunately you moved and that made it hard to be close to his mom but you did what you though was best for him..schools, your job etc.
Explain that since two dads are involved and two different judges, decisions were made at different times and involved different circumstance.
I wouldn't go into great depth. He will probably be fine with short, to-the-point answers.
I lived through the disappointment each time when my son's father would fail him and had to answer many of the same questions. I was also abused. When my son moved out around 18, we used to go to dinner on Friday nights. We had some of our best conversations and he asked many, many questions. He was able then to understand the answers and since he was allowed to form his own opinions of his dad, he knew just what I was saying.
I'm rambling somewhat but you get the picture I hope.
Explain that since two dads are involved and two different judges, decisions were made at different times and involved different circumstance.
I wouldn't go into great depth. He will probably be fine with short, to-the-point answers.
I lived through the disappointment each time when my son's father would fail him and had to answer many of the same questions. I was also abused. When my son moved out around 18, we used to go to dinner on Friday nights. We had some of our best conversations and he asked many, many questions. He was able then to understand the answers and since he was allowed to form his own opinions of his dad, he knew just what I was saying.
I'm rambling somewhat but you get the picture I hope.
My ex always makes me the "fall guy". A few weeks ago I was the bad guy for going out of town for the weekend and not accomodating him being able to go to his friends birthday party AND see his Dad the same weekend. Although his dad was very aware of the birthday party, but the 90 minute drive from his place to our place was too much to do 2 days in a row 
sooooo, somehow it became my fault. :shrug: 
That took some friggin nerve. I stepped in because he didn't have the backbone to say no, then he turns it around even more to be my fault. 
THAT took balls!
Especially after he just called to whine about money. I'm trying hard to be generous and not get jealous over this stuff - some days I'm better at it than others.
I try really hard not to fall into the trap of "I bust my ass and sacrafice everyday, yet she gets equal or better billing and does NOTHING." Last night was an example, at the risk of sounding pizzy, Boy had a school project, he has to read a book aobut rainbows, then draw a rainbow, and draw 4 pictures of things that make him happy. I sat down and read the book with him, then while he was drawing I was folding laundry. He presents me his picture, the 4 things that made him happy were Chopper the wondercat, his scooter, Digimon cards and his Mom. 
