I never split the bill on dates – women can learn from gold diggers

[GURPS]

A New York-based influencer doesn’t care that she’s been branded a gold digger because she believes that men should always foot the bill when it comes to dating — as a matter of “dignity.”

Influencer Ella Freimann, 24, said that she would never go Dutch on a date, believing any man who would suggest such an arrangement isn’t serious about his role in the potential relationship.

“By splitting the bill, I’m agreeing to form a connection with a man who doesn’t know his role in a relationship and expects me to be 50% of the man he’s not,” Freimann told NeedToKnow.co.uk. “I’ve learned that men who split the bill don’t value the time and effort a woman puts into herself to look her best for that man.”

“Plus ’50/50 [%] men’ don’t understand that the woman’s investment was made prior to the date,” the self-confident singleton continued. “By not agreeing to split the bill the woman keeps her dignity intact and avoids bad experiences with men.”

I never split the bill on dates – women can learn from gold diggers

“Men who split the bill don’t value the time and effort a woman puts into herself to look her best for that man.”

nypost.com

 

[Sneakers]

Nope.

 

[SamSpade]

24 young and still beautiful, probably will be able to pull this off for another 15 years, easy.
By then, any man near her age who's willing to keep playing that game can find someone younger.

The number one draw for me to my wife was, she was her own person and was interested in me and didn't expect me to sustain our relationship with places to go, dinners to buy and streams of entertainment. Most of my relationships prior to her were often predicated on "what have you done for me lately" whereas she told me - specifically - just being home and watching a movie on TV made her happy, because she wanted to be with ME rather than lavished over.

 

[OccamsRazor]

“By splitting the bill, I’m agreeing to form a connection with a man who doesn’t know his role in a relationship and expects me to be 50% of the man he’s not,” Freimann told NeedToKnow.co.uk. “I’ve learned that men who split the bill don’t value the time and effort a woman puts into herself to look her best for that man.”

Doesn't this work both ways? Could one say:

"I’ve learned that women who don't split the bill don’t value the time and effort a man puts into himself to look his best for that woman.”

 

[SamSpade]

Doesn't this work both ways? Could one say:

"I’ve learned that women who don't split the bill don’t value the time and effort a man puts into himself to look his best for that woman.”

Extremely vain narcissists cannot see that. I know, my younger sister was that way for years.
They're so used to getting what they want based on their looks, they're fooled into thinking they have OTHER things that make them attractive.
Believing they're smart, or witty, or talented.

Her time playing this was much shorter - eventually, men she was attracted to stopped lining up, and she found herself picking from a still large group of men - that she didn't like so much.

I found myself dating again late in life, and - my dates tended to be women who'd gone through the ringer too. Going out with me was every bit the gamble that me going out with them was. They were usually more amenable to a brief date where we just sit and talk for a short time - coffee or drinks - because time is short, and if you're looking to really know someone, you can't invest time in one you know isn't right for you.

So my rule was - most of the time, brief first dates are Dutch. You ask ME out, you pay. I ask you, I pay. We agree to meet, Dutch.
If I'm dating you, I'm paying. If we're an established couple - dating a while - well, we negotiate, because neither one of us can afford to go out all the time. My wife - and my previous couple girlfriends - would always offer at least to cover tip, or buy SOMETHING, because we're a couple and she needed to show she gave a damn about it.

 

[NOTSMC]

Extremely vain narcissists cannot see that. I know, my younger sister was that way for years.
They're so used to getting what they want based on their looks, they're fooled into thinking they have OTHER things that make them attractive.
Believing they're smart, or witty, or talented.

Her time playing this was much shorter - eventually, men she was attracted to stopped lining up, and she found herself picking from a still large group of men - that she didn't like so much.

I found myself dating again late in life, and - my dates tended to be women who'd gone through the ringer too. Going out with me was every bit the gamble that me going out with them was. They were usually more amenable to a brief date where we just sit and talk for a short time - coffee or drinks - because time is short, and if you're looking to really know someone, you can't invest time in one you know isn't right for you.

So my rule was - most of the time, brief first dates are Dutch. You ask ME out, you pay. I ask you, I pay. We agree to meet, Dutch.
If I'm dating you, I'm paying. If we're an established couple - dating a while - well, we negotiate, because neither one of us can afford to go out all the time. My wife - and my previous couple girlfriends - would always offer at least to cover tip, or buy SOMETHING, because we're a couple and she needed to show she gave a damn about it.

I'm going to borrow that. The man I've been seeing for the last eight months can afford things I only dream about and we both know it; yet I try to take him out whenever I can afford it just because. I never knew how to answer his because why question and your response is exactly what I haven't been able to put into words. Great response!

 

[DaSDGuy]

My wife always pays. Only fair, since I give her my paycheck and she has all the money. What do I need money for? I ask her for something and she buys it. Unless I ask for something stupid.

 

[Kyle]

"I’ve learned that women who don't split the bill don’t value the time and effort a man puts into himself to look his best for that woman.”

Exactly!

I dont' put on my best Cargo short and good Crocs for just anyone.

 

[Tilted]

I think I vaguely understand what it means to be a social media influencer and no doubt there are some actual so-called influencers.

But am I wrong in thinking that more often than not when someone is referred to as an influencer that just means they're an ostensibly hot chick whom a fair number of people like to look at pictures of?

 

[Kyle]

... social media influencer ...

When I read the phrase, the words "Unemployed" and "Unemployable" come to mind.

 

[Clem72]

My wife always pays. Only fair, since I give her my paycheck and she has all the money. What do I need money for? I ask her for something and she buys it. Unless I ask for something stupid.

I'm not sure we ever actively discussed it, but early on in the relationship it kind of unspoken that whoever suggested going out instead of eating at home has to pay.

Nowadays it's more who didn't forget their wallet or isn't in the bathroom when the waitress comes with the check.

 

[vraiblonde]

Cold hard fact:

If you want a woman like that, you're going to have to buy her dinner. And chew with your mouth closed, and not fart at the table.

Sorry.

Fortunately for all ya'll noping her, she'd never be interested in you anyway. I'm laughing out loud at you all thinking that girl would date you in the first place, let alone split the check with you.

 

[Kyle]

Cold hard fact:

If you want a woman like that, you're going to have to buy her dinner. And chew with your mouth closed, and not fart at the table.

And those types of unreasonable demands are why dating is so difficult now.

 

[stgislander]

I think I vaguely understand what it means to be a social media influencer and no doubt there are some actual so-called influencers.

But am I wrong in thinking that more often than not when someone is referred to as an influencer that just means they're an ostensibly hot chick whom a fair number of people like to look at pictures of?

Winner... winner... chicken dinner!

 

[RoseRed]

Cold hard fact:

If you want a woman like that, you're going to have to buy her dinner. And chew with your mouth closed, and not fart at the table.

I now know why my cousin is single. He was chomping so loud and talking with his mouth full, that his sisters grabbed me and took me for a golf cart ride until he was done.

 

[Clem72]

Cold hard fact:

If you want a woman like that, you're going to have to buy her dinner. And chew with your mouth closed, and not fart at the table.

Sorry.

Fortunately for all ya'll noping her, she'd never be interested in you anyway. I'm laughing out loud at you all thinking that girl would date you in the first place, let alone split the check with you.

There's a trend on tiktok now where they ask young women what they are looking for in a man. Pretty much every one of them says 6' or taller, 20-25 years old, and makes 100k minimum (many say something ridiculous like a million a year because they have no concept of money).

Then they get hit with the stats that a 20-25 year old making 100k and being over 6 foot tall is literally the 1% of men (less than 1 in 100 even). I don't even know who you would blame for such crazy expectations from even the most ordinary of women.

 

[Kyle]

I don't even know who you would blame for such crazy expectations from even the most ordinary of women.

Television
Movies
Magazines
Twitter
Instagram
...

Basically the entire fantasy industry along with poor parenting.

 

[jrt_ms1995]

Cold hard fact:

If you want a woman like that, you're going to have to buy her dinner. And chew with your mouth closed, and not fart at the table.

Fortunately for all ya'll noping her, she'd never be interested in you, excluding Kyle, anyway. I'm laughing out loud at you all thinking that girl would date you in the first place, let alone split the check with you.

Fixed to reflect the actual reality of the situation (in Kyle's mind, anyway).

 

[Kyle]

Fixed to reflect the actual reality of the situation (in Kyle's mind, anyway).

I was in great demand last Christmas!

 

[vraiblonde]

There's a trend on tiktok now where they ask young women what they are looking for in a man. Pretty much every one of them says 6' or taller, 20-25 years old, and makes 100k minimum (many say something ridiculous like a million a year because they have no concept of money).

Then they get hit with the stats that a 20-25 year old making 100k and being over 6 foot tall is literally the 1% of men (less than 1 in 100 even). I don't even know who you would blame for such crazy expectations from even the most ordinary of women.

And you know what? Good luck to them. I know average (and below) guys who have super unrealistic woman ideas and won't settle for anything less, and to them I say good luck as well. They're in their 50s/60s and still single, but good for them that they won't settle.

Leaves more relationship-worthy guys and gals for the rest of us.