itsbob said:
No doubt there are nut-jobs on both sides of the issue..
Friend of mine many years ago.. his ex-GF kept taking him back to court for more and more money, to the point of not having enough money to pay his rent. He got into arrears, and then took him back to court for an additional lump sum payment of an astronomical amount that she knew he couldn't pay.. at court he got to see his daughter for the first time in six months, and it freaked the little girl out, come to find out the mother had been telling her her daddy was dead, preparing her for the day he signed over custody to be be forgiven the money he owed (which was her goal from day one).
So as much as he loved his daughter, and seeing them together you could see how much he loved and cared for her, he was left with two choices. It broke his heart when he had to sign over custody, and this woman took his daughter out of his life forever.
She manipulated the system to get even and got what she wanted in the end. She hurt him more then any other way she could have done herself by using the courts.
This isn't always the way it happens, and two cases are never the same, but this is one I'm familiar with.
Oh, did I forget to mention she had told him she had her tubes tied, no chance of her ever having kids.. imagine his surprise when she told him she was pregnant..
You know I hear stories like this over and over and I cannot believe them. You cannot simply go to court and demand more child support. Unless the income changes it is just a formula. X+Y=CS, unless X or Y changes CS stays the same. I have even heard of custodials losing a job and trying to get NC to pay more and the judge says too bad, get another job. There is not that much manipulation. Many states put in the divorce that CS has to be revisited and recalculated periodically, every year or every 2 years, and interim changes are not allowed.
The only way I can see she could "manipulate" the system is if his income went up significantly and she proved it to get a new CS hearing. If his income went up drastically then it would be reasonable it is reflected in the CS. As for asking for a huge lump sum that is just not possible unless he got some huge bonus/raise/lotto win and concealed it or something.
CS is calculated to allow the NC to live. It of course does not take into account if the NC has expensive tastes, insists on driving a Jaguar, and cannot afford the $300 a month for satellite TV with 10,000 channels on a 60 inch plasma. If you live beyond your means and cannot afford the rent on your 5 bedroom house with a pool and jacuzzi I suppose that is too bad. Grown ups have to use their melon and not live beyond their means.
Next, courts are VERY interested if visitation is withheld for any reason. I have seen cases in which custody is changed when the custodial constantly interfered with the NC's visits. Many states put right in the divorce that child visitation is not to be withheld if child support is not received, they are separate issues totally. If this guy didn't see his kid for 6 months I would have to say it is his fault. If she refused all he had to do was document it, ask for a contempt hearing and go show the judge. Judges are not stupid and can tell what is going on and they frown on interference with visitation.
As far as signing off parental rights, broken heart or not he copped out. There is no way on Gods green earth I would EVER allow my ex to withhold visitation, or force me into signing away my parental rights, EVER EVER EVER.
Many guys for some inexplicable reason fail to assert their rights as parents. I don't know whether it is the womb thing, or guilt, or just plain not wanting to be bothered by it. It boggles my mind that people allow themselves to be pushed around. the law is there, it is in black and white, it assigned no gender preference, and it is appeal able if not enforced properly. Of course if you roll over and submissively pee yourself you get what you got coming because no one will look out for you like you will, especially some crackpot lawyer.
I have to agree. I'm familiar with quite a few divorce cases, my parents included, and have yet to see "revenge" enter the picture. Hell, my mother was entitled to child support for THREE kids that my dad never paid and never took him to court. My best friend, although her ex is a POS, never went the revenge route and only fought to get what the court ordered, which isn't much considering how much he makes. I know lots of other women who have done the same. The vast majority think about their kids first and not about themselves.
You're right. It doesn't have to be divorce or child related. I've seen enough breakups where one or both parties go crazy. 
I still don't know who I pissed off. 
I've heard some of your stories. 
Forgot about that. 
then you'll have another story 
Aw. I'm very sorry that some woman screwed you over so bad that you think all women are that way.
