Just thinking...

Larry Gude

Larry Gude

Strung Out
I find that...

julz20684 said:
What's the price one pays for being in relationships that are comfortable for the sake of familiarity and for the fear of being alone or starting over. Years of dating exclusively, living together, or married...what does one think about or do when, once completely in love and compatible, it no longer exists but yet neither party is willing to end it.

Most know there are spells that all couples go through, but what if it's no longer just a spell, what if the "magic", the "sparks" are really gone? What if one finds it just isn't a compatible, fulfilling relationship anymore? Does one take the step to say I can not exist in this relationship just for the comfort of it, I will not just settle for less than I feel I deserve or want?

What about the reverse? What if one is in a completely passionate relationship but you know this person, in the grand scheme of things is just not the right one to make a life with.

Just thinking out loud...
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...going in the basement and working on the pit for awhile usually makes me feel better. There's plenty to do to keep your mind off 'things'; gotta insulate the walls, it can never be too deep, you need to make sure to build it so the pets can't fall in...
 
J

julz20684

Guest
kwillia said:
Then you look at the bigger picture... do you and your S/O have the same goals, visions of the future? Tho you both may be happy individually, are you both happy together? There are a lot of variables.
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There ya go there's my *DING* *DING* *DING* in this whole thing
 
J

julz20684

Guest
vraiblonde said:
Larry would make my heart skip a beat if I didn't have to live with him and put up with his #### every day.

:lol:

Live with your guy non-stop for five years without running away from home, then get back to me on that "spark" and "magic" business.
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Not sure I could, that's the reason it's an on/off thing....
 
kwillia

kwillia

n/a
julz20684 said:
It's really not anything or anyone specific...just know friends where each relationship is a complete varying degree of passion/happiness/longevity/grass being greener/etc. and what their basis are for those....hence the reason I made the thread, just wanted to see what my dear forumites thought.
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I know you are not currently in a relationship so I assumed you were asking for the sake of asking so I tried to answer in general terms. I think the feelings/terms/behaviors that define a successful relationship vary from couple to couple. There are couples that survive and work best when they are constantly in each others faces and then there are couples that survive and work best when they live under the same roof but on seperate floors. So I don't think there is any good answer as to what makes it work.
 
J

julz20684

Guest
pixiegirl said:
Kwillia is very wise. Very wise indeed.
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PIXIE.....where the he!! have you been? I'm working down at Webster's now...we have to get together!
 
pixiegirl

pixiegirl

Cleopatra Jones
julz20684 said:
PIXIE.....where the he!! have you been? I'm working down at Webster's now...we have to get together!
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Yeah! Personal drama of which I care not to disclose in the open forum. I'll send you a PM tomorrow!


I have a lunch date! I have a lunch date! :getdown:
 
J

julz20684

Guest
kwillia said:
I know you are not currently in a relationship so I assumed you were asking for the sake of asking so I tried to answer in general terms. I think the feelings/terms/behaviors that define a successful relationship vary from couple to couple. There are couples that survive and work best when they are constantly in each others faces and then there are couples that survive and work best when they live under the same roof but on seperate floors. So I don't think there is any good answer as to what makes it work.
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Yes you are correct again :notworthy and there is no textbook relationship, maybe manual ones :lmao: .

I have a friend that believes no one man will ever be faithful and allows and is okay with her husband having other women so long as he is honest and tells her about it. And I think, good God I could never do that...what is right and good for one couple is not right and good for another.
 
J

julz20684

Guest
pixiegirl said:
Yeah! Personal drama of which I care not to disclose in the open forum. I'll send you a PM tomorrow!


I have a lunch date! I have a lunch date! :getdown:
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Good for you, on the lunch date I mean. Sorry to hear of personal drama :huggy: .
 
kwillia

kwillia

n/a
julz20684 said:
There ya go there's my *DING* *DING* *DING* in this whole thing
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Yes... let's bring it back around to my original *DING* comment. I do believe that a large number of relationships wither and die on the vine because one or the other partner thinks they need to "outsource" in order to discover the passion that is missing or to liven a life that is status quo and comfortable. But then guess what happens... their new found "sparky" relationship eventually gets status quo and comfortable and then they start to realize that what they were seeking is nothing more than what they had to begin with. :shrug: Of course this theory doesn't work in regards to abusive relationships.
 
kwillia

kwillia

n/a
Chasey_Lane said:
Hypothetically, if wife wanted an outdoor shower and hubby said no, would that be considered abuse?
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It sounds very controlling on his part to me. I think that situation as you described it means that he is very self-centered and doesn't want to share you lathering with the neighbors, mailman and boys biking up and down the street. I'd say he has issues.
 
morganj614

morganj614

New Member
julz20684 said:
I'm thinking you really like beating :ohwell:
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Nope, the man I am with actually agrees that we need to bend and flex to make this work. :flowers: After so many years we get set in our ways and if you can't compromise, you just keep butting heads and repeating patterns.
There have been a few that deserved to be pulped :lol:

And I was more than happily single until I found this guy :love:
 
J

julz20684

Guest
morganj614 said:
Nope, the man I am with actually agrees that we need to bend and flex to make this work. :flowers: After so many years we get set in our ways and if you can't compromise, you just keep butting heads and repeating patterns.
There have been a few that deserved to be pulped :lol:

And I was more than happily single until I found this guy :love:
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Yay for you on both being happily single and finding a GREAT guy!
 
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