Kids say the darndest things

[DanceMom]

My daughter is 2 1/2, her father drew her a picture and they put it on the refrigerator, the next morning, while I'm trying to get a cup of coffee, my daughter says to me, "Isn't daddy's picture beautiful?"
I mumble to her yes, while trying to get that coffee and she says to me with some attitude, "Well, everyone just loves it, it's wonderful." I don't know who everyone is, but I about peed my pants snickering.

 

[kris31280]

My baby told me, for the first time, tonight "Love you, mama."

 

[RareBreed]

My baby told me, for the first time, tonight "Love you, mama."

No sweeter words are ever heard!

 

[Bronwyn]

No sweeter words are ever heard!

Until that first tantrum where they say "I hate you" or "You are the worst dad ever!"

 

[kris31280]

Until that first tantrum where they say "I hate you" or "You are the worst dad ever!"

I get twice as many "No, mama" or "No way!" phrases as I do "Love you, mama" phrases... so it all washes I guess.

He's cute when he tells me "No, mama" because it's a "No.... mama" with hand gestures to stop.

 

[Bronwyn]

I get twice as many "No, mama" or "No way!" phrases as I do "Love you, mama" phrases... so it all washes I guess.

He's cute when he tells me "No, mama" because it's a "No.... mama" with hand gestures to stop.

When my oldest son told me one time "I don't love you!" I was so crushed I cried. I will never forget... we were riding in the car. I took it WAY to personally.

Now, all these years later... my youngest son said it and I burst out laughing.

 

[DEEKAYPEE8569]

When my car broke down last week, my 6 year old was in the back seat and said after few minutes of sitting still in the car, " Mom, can't you hit the nitrous and get this thing rollin?" Where the heck did he hear that?

----------------------------------

Watching ESPN and SPEED Channel with Daddy.

 

[RareBreed]

When my oldest son told me one time "I don't love you!" I was so crushed I cried. I will never forget... we were riding in the car. I took it WAY to personally.

Now, all these years later... my youngest son said it and I burst out laughing.

When my kids say it, I say "Good. That means I'm doing my job."

 

[Bronwyn]

When my kids say it, I say "Good. That means I'm doing my job."

It is a much better situation if you know how to take it...
When my oldest said it I was going through a divorce. My ex was living with his parents and they were making my toddler son call his grandmother "mom-mom". When he told me that he didn't love me... It really really hurt.

 

[RareBreed]

It is a much better situation if you know how to take it...
When my oldest said it I was going through a divorce. My ex was living with his parents and they were making my toddler son call his grandmother "mom-mom". When he told me that he didn't love me... It really really hurt.

I was responding to the latter portion of your post, not the first. Forgot to high-light that.

 

[Bronwyn]

My five year old is getting quite bossy.
When he sneazes he turns to me and days right away, "What do you say?"

And he will set up his toys in the living room, and he will say "If anyone messes this up, they will be in TROUBLE!"

 

[mainman]

2 weeks ago shorty and I were leaving a local food joint.. On the way out the door, there was this 20something year old chick sitting on the bench.. Shorty says.. "Check her out dad, she's hawt"..... Within her earshot no less...

 

[slotted]

2 weeks ago shorty and I were leaving a local food joint.. On the way out the door, there was this 20something year old chick sitting on the bench.. Shorty says.. "Check her out dad, she's hawt"..... Within her earshot no less...

 

[godsbutterfly]

About a month a go I went to Virginia and spent some time with two of my kids. I was watching my daughter go nuts with her 21/2 year old. He wants to stay up all night, run around the room and bounce off all of the furniture instead of sit down and eat, tell her "No" and cry when he doesn't get his way - all while she is trying to take care of the newborn. She is really getting frustrated. I smiled the whole time before I said "I'm so glad you've got one just like you!". Remember - DIAPER backwards is REPAID!!!!!

 

[barncat]

My baby told me, for the first time, tonight "Love you, mama."

Mine told me she loved me for the first time this morning. It was really sweet and made the perfect start to the day.

 

[kris31280]

Mine told me she loved me for the first time this morning. It was really sweet and made the perfect start to the day.

It does, doesn't it... the whole disjointed way they say the words as they learn them. It's almost as great as the first time they walk across the room to your waiting arms, or when you're sitting on the floor, waiting for them to come to you so they can get changed or whatever and they come up, give you a kiss, and then collapse on you in to what can only be called "The world's best hug".

 

[RareBreed]

Not spoken, but written

Son had a homework assignment last week where he had to use the word "missed" in a sentence. After he wrote the sentence, he showed it to me. It said " I missed understand what my mom told me to do." I didn't have the heart to tell him that the word is actually "misunderstood". I wonder if his teacher will pick up on the mistake. I thought it was cute/funny.

 

[KWAK]

I got bored yesterday and decided I needed a change so I went blonde (from brunette with highlights). My daughter was at her grandmother's house. When I went to pick her up she was staring at my head, then finally says, "Mommy, where'd your hair go?" I about p!ssed myself laughing!

 

[RareBreed]

When my oldest was 2 or 3, he could not say passenger. He would say "pass the scissors".

 

[SmowPea]

When my Cockateils' babies hatched, my son asked me how they got food. I told him the parents eat food and regurgitate it in their mouth. He asked what that meant. I told him they eat food and throw up in the babies mouth. He was like Then he said "mommy, did you feed me like that when I was a baby?"