You know what? Both Larry and Tilted have acknowledged that this "man's" behavior wasn't what one should expect out of a husband. I'm good with that, the rest of you have at it.
Man Records Final Fight with Wife & Uploads It
- Thread starter Misfit
- Start date
Radiant1
Soul Probe
Sorry, didn't read the whole thread but when I watched the vid last week it didn't appear he needed to get her started. She did that on her own. I still think she's a stupid twit, perhaps even more so for allowing herself to be egged on or manipulated if indeed that was the case. Think about it, she obviously has issues if he was able to manipulate her into behaving that way so easily.
I agree. He should have been bigger and better than that, but I can understand why he did it.
SG_Player1974
New Member
Sorry, didn't read the whole thread but when I watched the vid last week it didn't appear he needed to get her started. She did that on her own. I still think she's a stupid twit, perhaps even more so for allowing herself to be egged on or manipulated if indeed that was the case. Think about it, she obviously has issues if he was able to manipulate her into behaving that way so easily.
AGREED. At what point do we start holding people responsible for THEIR actions and not blame, or attempt to partially blame, another for it?
AGREED as well. I never said that the woman was totally to blame. I only asked why it seemed that most of the posters on this thread were absolving her of her actions and pointing ONLY at the man.
Larry Gude
Strung Out
Sorry, didn't read the whole thread but when I watched the vid last week it didn't appear he needed to get her started. She did that on her own. I still think she's a stupid twit, perhaps even more so for allowing herself to be egged on or manipulated if indeed that was the case. Think about it, she obviously has issues if he was able to manipulate her into behaving that way so easily.
She may well be a stupid twit but, woman deal with things different than guys and that woman was acting like that based on her relationship with him, specifically, how they interact, her satisfaction, or lack thereof, in how they resolve differences and conflicts and this is her way of expressing her frustration with their relationship and what happens when things go wrong.
He knows that and he decided to set her up AND make clear that HE was Mr. Rationale when, in fact, I am quite sure all this crap out suddenly 'having' to rotate tires or this or that or the other thing was a common occurrence due to his poor planning or 'guy' way of going about things that typically left her gnashing her teeth, biting her lip and/or having a melt down like this.
As a guy, we are not supposed to treat women this way, especially when they are vulnerable. That was low and mean and a total douche move. That doesn't mean we have to like it and it doesn't mean he is supposed to get down and kiss her ass every time she's disappointed. They, obviously, have some issues to work out and for him to play rational victim to the irrational bytch from hell is bull####.
Classless. Low.
Douche.
I know because I've done it and I ain't proud of it. That was not how to deal with my frustration nor was it for him. Or any real guy.
Larry Gude
Strung Out
I understand why he FELT like doing it. That doesn't make it OK. As I say, this ain't all about this normal, rational, good guy done wrong by the nut job from hell. He's part of this and he hasn't grown up enough to figure out his role, and faults, in this relationship.
SG_Player1974
New Member
It amazes me how 1 internet video and an open forum can turn people into Dr. Phil
Larry Gude
Strung Out
It amazes me how 1 internet video and an open forum can turn people into Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil wouldn't last on here for 5 minutes.
Tilted
..
I love how the video clearly shows that the girl is mentally unstable and a huge spoiled brat BUT...
In typical somd.com forum style.... we somehow find a way to blame the guy for the problem.
Just out of curiosity... if the roles were reversed (man throwing tantrum/ woman recording) Do you think this thread would be a LOT different?
I bet it would!
I haven't seen anyone blaming him for her behavior. There are 2 things here, her behavior and his behavior. Noting the latter (or even focusing on it) isn't necessarily an effort to minimize the former. The flaw in her character is readily apparent. Seriously, what more really needs to be said about it? On the hand, the flaw in his character doesn't seem to be as apparent to a lot of people. So maybe it's worth pointing out. There are boys and young men out there that might need to have pointed out to them what they should not grow up to be.
Further, from my own perspective, I'm more inclined to note misbehavior from my own 'side' (using that term very loosely). I take greater notice of guys acting like dicks than women acting like bitches. I take greater note of so-called conservatives ####ing up our arguments by spouting BS than of liberals ####ing up their arguments by spouting BS. I'll spend more time on a Monday critiquing the Washington Redskins' efforts than I will the Dallas Cowboys' efforts. I want better from my 'side,' and in some circumstances I think I'm more likely to have an impact with my own 'side' than with the other 'side.'
But I want to go on to make another point. Yes, she seems quite immature (and I'm sure we could throw in a number of other descriptors). But he seems like a douchebag. Neither attribute is a particularly good one to find in your SO / spouse. But people often grow out of their immaturity. Douchebags? Douchebags tend to remain douchebags for the balance of their lives. A potential future boyfriend might look at her and think that, after reality hits her in the face enough, she might grow up. She might look at that video and think, 'is that really who I am?' As for him, is he going to look at that video and think, 'wow, I'm a douchebag'? My gut tells me no. He's likely going to go on thinking that he behaved appropriately. And a preponderance of comments ridiculing her, while failing to take note of his douchebag-ness, would probably just reinforce in his mind the acceptability of his actions. He needs to have pointed out to him how big a douchebag he was being, lest he may spend the rest of his life never knowing how a man behaves.
Were my parents still alive, and they discovered a video like that which I had made and posted online, my mother might calmly point out that she told me so regarding the immaturity of the bride I'd chosen. But as for my father, he'd be ashamed of the son he'd tried to raise; and, one way or another, he'd make sure that going forward I understood what it meant to be a man and how a man should behave in the context of a committed relationship. Of that I have little doubt.
In short, it doesn't have to be that one is right and the other is wrong; they can both be wrong. And they ARE both wrong.
She is a mental case; he is a douchebag.
She is a mental case; he is a douchebag.
SG_Player1974
New Member
But good - I hope that this is truly their last fight and they both go on to find someone they are more compatible with. She needs someone who can help calm her when she's starting to flake out (and perhaps suggest a nice doctor who will prescribe strong medication) and he needs a rational woman who will calmly turn around and punch him in the mouth next time he takes that smug patronizing tone with her.
Cheeky1
Yae warsh wif' wutr
Hm...these two were meant for each other!
sidenote: one my very good friends is going through a separation right now. His wife plasters FB with negative BS. Anything out of him?....nope. I don't feel bad for him, because I see what he is leaving. I feel bad for her.
I pray for both.
sidenote: one my very good friends is going through a separation right now. His wife plasters FB with negative BS. Anything out of him?....nope. I don't feel bad for him, because I see what he is leaving. I feel bad for her.
I pray for both.
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SG_Player1974
New Member
I hope this was just a confused post...
So, you feel bad for HER for posting Facebook rants and BS about her significant other AND
No sympathy for HIM even though he has the good sense to keep his mouth closed and not spew his relationship onto the internet?
Dang, even I understood that one.
Cheeky feels sorry for the wife because she is losing a good man; he does not feel sorry for the man because he's getting rid of a crazy bitch. Woman loses/man wins.
Chris0nllyn
Well-Known Member
He's full of it. You can set YouTube vids so they're not available to the general public. He should just be honest and say, "I uploaded it to humiliate her and show the whole world the crap I've had to put up with with this woman. Oh, and so people like you would contact me and have me on your news show."
I'm not sure which one of them I want to smack more: her for that screaming and bawling bull####, or him for that patronizing taunting. Probably her, but it's tight.
SamSpade
Well-Known Member
I have a hard time faulting the husband for his behavior. How many of you watched the whole thing without wanting to just turn the damned thing off because she was just too annoying? Five minutes? How'd you like to listen to an hour of it? A whole day? *YEARS*?
Try an experiment. Put the thing on endless loop and just let it play loudly in your earshot for an hour or more. See how long you last.
Being a smug jerk I suspect is his way of NOT just pushing her out of the car and claiming it was an accident, because endlessly enduring that crap would strongly tempt me to take her to the lake and send her to the bottom.
Try an experiment. Put the thing on endless loop and just let it play loudly in your earshot for an hour or more. See how long you last.
Being a smug jerk I suspect is his way of NOT just pushing her out of the car and claiming it was an accident, because endlessly enduring that crap would strongly tempt me to take her to the lake and send her to the bottom.
And yet he could have dumped her at any time. He could have not married her in the first place. He had options.
When my Mom would get on a tear the very LAST thing I wanted to do was encourage her to ramp up. One of two things would happen: I'd ignore her and walk away; or I'd get pissed and tell her to STFU. Now it's even easier - at the onset of fit, I....hang up on her.
What I would never ever do is taunt her and drive her into greater fits of frenzy so that I had to listen to a heightened version of the meltdown. Unless, of course, I was specifically trying to encourage a show so I could post in on the internet and humiliate her. Which would humiliate me as well, having a crazy mother. And you'd think it would humiliate this guy to have married a crazy wife, but apparently it doesn't.
Railroad
Routinely Derailed
I think the whole thing was avoidable, but if she really does go off like that and pull the spoiled child routine all the time, the guy should weigh the cost vs. the benefits. And recording/posting wasn't a good idea, unless it's to be used in evidence (if it's ever done that way) in divorce court.
SamSpade
Well-Known Member
She looks to me to be like MANY people I know for whom walking away isn't an option - because they just follow you or become irate that you do it.
I've lived with people like this. You endure them until you can get out. You don't abrupt walk out or you'll find your stuff broken or in the yard. You don't tell them STFU, or you WILL be ratcheting it up into violence. I tried it once with a roomie - he knocked me backwards over the couch, had his knee in my chest and his fist aimed at my nuts, and his other hand on my throat. And this was my *friend*.
If this was someone you really, really, REALLY didn't like - most times there'd be a fight. If this was your CHILD, you might be tempted to do EXACTLY as this man did, because your other solutions will not work. He treated her like a child, because at minimum, she deserved it.
You can't do a film like this UNLESS she does it all the time. You can't - he didn't just get lucky, she does it all the time. And I bet she has no idea how ridiculous she gets, either.
Seriously, try my experiment. Play it continuously until you shout STFU repeatedly at the screen. Now imagine it was your KID, not your husband.