Marriage. What's the point?
- Thread starter HappyMOM
- Start date
C
CalvertNewbie
Guest
Marriage shouldn't just be about having children, it's not going to work just because children are involved. Nowadays, it doesn't seem to me that people feel the need to get hitched just because they have children anyway. There are many single Moms/Dads out there who have never been married.
I guess if someone doesn't "see the point" in getting married, they may not have found the right person. When I met hubby, I knew very quickly that we'd get married & start a family soon after. I knew right away that I had found my soulmate & I've never been happier in life. I can't imagine life without my hubby, which is how I know walking down that aisle was the right decision for us.
As for the guys I've dated in the past, I saw no point in getting married because I knew I'd just add to the divorce statistics. I just knew that we weren't right for one another so why bother? I do have some friends who just have no interest in settling down. Marriage just isn't for everyone.
morningbell
hmmmmmm
If the gays can't marry why should I?
migtig
aka Mrs. Giant
What's the point in getting married even if you do have children?
IMHO, when you marry someone it's about the commitment to each other (not about children). It's promising to always be there no matter what for each other and sharing everything , both good and bad. About always wanting to be a part of that person's life and they a part of yours. It's about love, respect, trust and more.
If you live together, it's much easier to have a "way out", and not have any promises be made. You can have a long term relationship, and still be holding out for "the one". You can leave or end it at any time with little difficulty and feel no need to work on any issues or problems in order to hold the relationship together. After all, there's no commitment, as even I have said in the past, "there's no ring on my finger".
Marriage says you have found "the one" and they you.
kwillia
n/a
migtig
aka Mrs. Giant
nachomama
All Up In Your Grill
Awwwllllllll. :tear:
camily
Peace
Am I the only one that found that strange? Truely, shouldn't you be married before you have children?
Granted, that's not the way it works alot of the time but I think it's the best way to go if possible.
These are some great responses.
Maybe the question should be rephrased to ask, "What purpose does marriage serve?" From the responses so far, it sounds like the only purpose it serves is to make it harder for the couple to break up.
Let's take children out of the equation for now (because that's a different discussion all together).
Maybe the question should be rephrased to ask, "What purpose does marriage serve?" From the responses so far, it sounds like the only purpose it serves is to make it harder for the couple to break up.
Let's take children out of the equation for now (because that's a different discussion all together).
migtig
aka Mrs. Giant
Then your reading comprehension sucks. :shrug:
Radiant1
Soul Probe
It seems to me that if you're committed your committed, wedding ring or not. Children of unmarried parents can still get all the benefits of parents who are married or so it seems to me. With the divorce rate being what it is today it's not like the legality of marriage offers much in the way of accountability either. :shrug:
Sorry, I guess I've given up on what I see as outdated romantic notions in my older age -- somebody smack me.
Sorry, I guess I've given up on what I see as outdated romantic notions in my older age -- somebody smack me.
Radiant1
Soul Probe
Mine must too. Can you try to explain further because that's basically what I got out of what you wrote, and that's pretty much all I can think of myself if I keep some subjectively percieved religious/moral issue out of the equation.
migtig
aka Mrs. Giant
It seems to me that if you're committed your committed, wedding ring or not. Children of unmarried parents can still get all the benefits of parents who are married or so it seems to me. With the divorce rate being what it is today it's not like the legality of marriage offers much in the way of accountability either. :shrug:
Sorry, I guess I've given up on what I see as outdated romantic notions in my older age -- somebody smack me.
Don't disillusion me. I'm already over the hill.
migtig
aka Mrs. Giant
Mine must too. Can you try to explain further because that's basically what I got out of what you wrote, and that's pretty much all I can think of myself if I keep some subjectively percieved religious/moral issue out of the equation.
It's about finding "the one" silly, that makes everything else fall by the wayside and you wanting to publically and forever proclaim it as so. Going that extra step and putting in that extra effort. Working for it. To go the extra distance and make an extra effort and make some serious promises to each other and mean it. To want to be there no matter what.
I think living together is not about being with "the one" it's about being with "this will do for now". Which is fine for some and for some that's all that they want. They don't want more, hence no further commitment or effort. No need for promises or plans or anything. If it's bothersome or becomes to much work - go on to the next no big deal, since that person wasn't really the one you wanted to be with for the rest of your life anyway. I've been there, I know. I always swore I would never get married.
Marriage's not about it being harder to break up. It's about not even thinking about a break up but what you're going to be like with no teeth in your head and how wonderful it is that you'll be in the nursing home together - no matter what. Get it? Okay probably a bad analogy, but there's a difference. I think it's the heart, the hope and the love.
migtig
aka Mrs. Giant
Cowgirl
Well-Known Member
Where'd you register?
:shrug: We haven't.
migtig
aka Mrs. Giant
Then how are you going to get the presents you want? You'd better get busy on that with the million other things you have to do.
