I'm sorry, but I believe your answer should simply be: "Not much"
Marriage. What's the point?
- Thread starter HappyMOM
- Start date
I'm sorry, but I believe your answer should simply be: "Not much"
BuddyLee
Football addict
I've seen a lot of my friends get married right out of high school and subsequently divorce. Some of them are totally depressed and not the same friends I remember.
That's just one reason why I've waited to get married. I would also like to garner a home and better job before I even think about getting married. I'd like my lady to get out of college too.
I'm not worried about marriage at all right now. However, my lady would really really really like a ring right now. My family keeps bugging me about it but I'm standing firm. We've been together 4 years next February but I don't want her worrying about marriage and the like. She has better things to focus on for now.
That's just one reason why I've waited to get married. I would also like to garner a home and better job before I even think about getting married. I'd like my lady to get out of college too.
I'm not worried about marriage at all right now. However, my lady would really really really like a ring right now. My family keeps bugging me about it but I'm standing firm. We've been together 4 years next February but I don't want her worrying about marriage and the like. She has better things to focus on for now.
bohman
Well-Known Member
To a certain extent, I think that when you choose someone to live with & possibly raise children with, if you don't marry it would leave too much doubt in the relationship. If one or both people in the relationship aren't willing to publicly declare undying love, and aren't willing to go through the effort of a wedding, aren't willing to tie up their life with joint checking accounts, jointly owned house, etc. - don't you wonder if they are REALLY going to stick around when the going gets tough? When you are sick, laid off, or otherwise in big trouble, will that person really be there for you? Or will they write you off & start fresh with somebody else?
I don't know how I'd be able to live my life if I had to wonder about that. I am 100% certain that my wife will stick with me, and me with her, and marriage is a big part of that. The ring, the certificate and the vows may only be symbols, but they are very powerful symbols.
Granted, I have the stereotypical male perspective that the big wedding with all the family & friends was a giant hassle, but I still wouldn't have it any other way.
Funny thread.
Truth be told I got married for the free sex.
You must hang out in the wrong places there is so much free sex in somd it should be a crime
camily
Peace
Why get married? Because that's what your supposed to do. Because that's the message I want to pass to my kids. To make a commitment and stick with it. The divorce rate is so high because people give up and take the easy way out. I am not speaking of abusive marriages. Marriage is hard. Ups, downs etc., but that's life. stick with the person you marry and the love will come back. You have to want it. It's gonna suck sometimes and sometimes you want to leave but you don't because that's how it's supposed to work. To be an example to your kids.
WidowLady06
lost in the numbers
I've been reading and reading this thread since it was first posted and deleted several responses, but here it goes again.
I'm a widow. I'm 36 years old and my husband died of a heart attack, in my arms, in front of our children when he was 31 years old. He died 2 months before our 10th anniversary.
Marriage meant everything to us. It meant that when he got sick, he knew that I would be there for him. It meant that when I was given a very unhealthy prognosis after our daughter was born, he was there for me. It meant bills, houses, taxes, in-laws and several other mundane facts of life. But it also meant laughter, love, 2am cuddles and middle of the night love. Any and all of this could have been with or without the legal vows.
But the real kicker is that those 2 months cheated me of any survivor benefits. I am working my a$$ off now with a part time job, full time college and raising our children so that I can give them a decent life. If he had held on for an additional two months, I wouldn't have to worry about how to pay for groceries or rent each month because the government would allow me to access his social security. Instead I'm working myself to the bone to try to finish school while working while dealing with children who have had their whole lives ripped from them.
So, to me, marriage is more than just the love, the security, the being with your best friend. It's also the difference between being acknowledged and having years of your life figuratively thrown away.
I'm a widow. I'm 36 years old and my husband died of a heart attack, in my arms, in front of our children when he was 31 years old. He died 2 months before our 10th anniversary.
Marriage meant everything to us. It meant that when he got sick, he knew that I would be there for him. It meant that when I was given a very unhealthy prognosis after our daughter was born, he was there for me. It meant bills, houses, taxes, in-laws and several other mundane facts of life. But it also meant laughter, love, 2am cuddles and middle of the night love. Any and all of this could have been with or without the legal vows.
But the real kicker is that those 2 months cheated me of any survivor benefits. I am working my a$$ off now with a part time job, full time college and raising our children so that I can give them a decent life. If he had held on for an additional two months, I wouldn't have to worry about how to pay for groceries or rent each month because the government would allow me to access his social security. Instead I'm working myself to the bone to try to finish school while working while dealing with children who have had their whole lives ripped from them.
So, to me, marriage is more than just the love, the security, the being with your best friend. It's also the difference between being acknowledged and having years of your life figuratively thrown away.
bohman
Well-Known Member
I wish I knew what to say to that. Good luck to you in the future. I'm sure you & your kids will be able to bounce back someday.
Radiant1
Soul Probe
I'm sorry for your loss and your struggles.
All the beatiful things that people have said still left me thinking, "Yeah but you can have that without the legalities." You're the first person who gave a purely practical reason for the benefit of marriage, thank you!
C
CalvertNewbie
Guest
WidowLady06, I don't have words to make you feel any better or to make your situation any easier. All I can say is that I'm sorry you lost someone who clearly meant so much to you & your children. I wish you the best of luck in your future and I hope that someday, when & if you're ready, you can find true love again - if that's what you want in the future. It sounds like you're working really hard to set a great example for your children.
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Wenchy
Guest
I'm getting married so I have health and dental insurance.
T
toppick08
Guest
I've been told I'm not marriage potential.......:shrug:
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Wenchy
Guest
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toppick08
Guest
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Wenchy
Guest
He/you should have had a life insurance policy in place so you didn't have to worry about such nonsense.
Soon, no matter what age, there will be no social security.
Any of us can be taken in a heartbeat (pun NOT intended) and need to make sure those left behind are taken care of.
Chasey_Lane
Salt Life
What about each person being responsible for their own well being?
WidowLady06
lost in the numbers
There was a life insurance policy, but what is left of that now is set aside for the children. I'm not using that to live day to day. The one thing I tell people is that the only regret that I have is we had no video of him. Nothing with his voice, his laugh, nothing but pictures and memories they are so flat.
kelb
art imitating life
Funny thread.
Truth be told I got married for the free sex.
Are you rich?
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toppick08
Guest
