Opinions wanted

[Vince]

It's a tactic used by passive-aggressive people, designed so they can still punish the other person but avoid outright conflict.

That is definitely true. I would ask her "what's wrong?" And in the meanest, nastiest tone, she would reply, "nothing, nothing is wrong!" Now how is someone supposed to take that other than, well, she's mad at me for some reason and I'm supposed to read her mind to find out what. Communication is the key to any relationship.

 

[Pete]

Speaking for myself, I am a communication person. If it's worth being pissed about, it's worth discussing. And if someone is worth being pissed AT, they are worth my time to let them know what I'm thinking and feeling.


I agree with this completely! PT, let's get married

 

[mainman]

What do you think when someone is mad, and it is clear they are MAD but will not tell you why?

Stop wiping on the curtains you cro-magnon bastard...

 

[Ponytail]

To the curb with ya!

 

[LordStanley]

LOL having sex doesn't solve problems either...

Your right, but it helps forget that there is one.... If my wife could only figure that one out, all would be fine....

For instance.... Im mad at her, she gives me sex, I forget what Im mad about.

would work everytime

 

[vraiblonde]

For instance.... Im mad at her, she gives me sex, I forget what Im mad about.

Here's the female side of that:

You're mad at her. She gets upset. You want sex. She wants to cry.

Unless you like sex with crying women, I would find a new seduction technique.

 

[Chain729]

Sure she is. It's a tactic used by passive-aggressive people, designed so they can still punish the other person but avoid outright conflict.

He says, "What's wrong?" She replies, "What makes you think something's wrong? :sulk:" He says, "Well, you're being very quiet so I thought maybe something was on your mind." She says, "No. It's nothing. out:"

He shrugs and goes about his business. She stews in her own juice until midnight, when she wakes him up to tell him what an insensitive, uncaring bastard he is.

:shrug:

Sometimes.. Usually, its more like a week later and you get "You're a cold, heartless bastard! You're never here and you never let me in! So why don't you just do what you really want?! Leave me and go to your new [noun describing fictious person or realtionship]!!!"

 

[Ponytail]

Unless you like sex with crying women, I would find a new seduction technique.

Same psycho that I mentioned in my earlier thread pulled this crap too. Ya get used to it.

 

[Ponytail]

Sometimes.. Usually, its more like a week later and you get "You're a cold, heartless bastard! You're never here and you never let me in! So why don't you just do what you really want?! Leave me and go to your new [noun describing fictious person or realtionship]!!!"

That one's easy. My reply: "Ok."

 

[Chain729]

Here's the female side of that:

You're mad at her. She gets upset. You want sex. She wants to cry.

Unless you like sex with crying women, I would find a new seduction technique.

"A lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'"

-Bloodhound Gang

 

[LexiGirl75]

Sure she is. It's a tactic used by passive-aggressive people, designed so they can still punish the other person but avoid outright conflict.

He says, "What's wrong?" She replies, "What makes you think something's wrong? :sulk:" He says, "Well, you're being very quiet so I thought maybe something was on your mind." She says, "No. It's nothing. out:"

He shrugs and goes about his business. She stews in her own juice until midnight, when she wakes him up to tell him what an insensitive, uncaring bastard he is.

:shrug:

People like that deserve the response PT gave. I was thinking of someone who was venting quietly until they were ready to discuss. Not the one walking pass him sighing 20 times a minute or who plops down in the chair blowing out air and sighing so loud that the next door neighbors can hear her.

Yeah, that behavior is definitely of someone who wants to be noticed for being sad/mad but who would rather milk the situation instead of working towards a resolution by dealing with it.

 

[Ponytail]

People like that deserve the response PT gave. I was thinking of someone who was venting quietly until they were ready to discuss. Not the one walking pass him sighing 20 times a minute or who plops down in the chair blowing out air and sighing so loud that the next door neighbors can hear her.

Yeah, that behavior is definitely of someone who wants to be noticed for being sad/mad but who would rather milk the situation instead of working towards a resolution by dealing with it.

All of the above qualify for my response.

 

[rack'm]

Unless you like sex with crying women, I would find a new seduction technique.

Use more lube......

 

[Christy]

Start yelling at them and threaten to kick their ass. Throw a glass of iced tea at them.

That's what I do to Larry

Wow, you're still only at the ice tea glass stage, I've progressed to larger objects to get Steve's attention. :laptops:

 

[vraiblonde]

:laptops:

Get outta here! You'd risk a perfectly good laptop in a fit of temper?

Keep an old-fashioned wood handled toilet plunger in each room of your house. When Steve gets stupid, start beating him with it. This will not only get your point across, but you don't care if you break the plunger. AND it will amuse your friends when you tell them you beat your husband with a toilet plunger.

 

[RoseRed]

Get outta here! You'd risk a perfectly good laptop in a fit of temper?

Keep an old-fashioned wood handled toilet plunger in each room of your house. When Steve gets stupid, start beating him with it. This will not only get your point across, but you don't care if you break the plunger. AND it will amuse your friends when you tell them you beat your husband with a toilet plunger.

 

[mainman]

When Steve gets stupid,

Gets???

Her arm would fall off...

 

[LexiGirl75]

All of the above qualify for my response.

BTW, I don't believe you can go from caring and understanding to this "talk to the wall" and let me sleep guy you speak about. I don't think you should bend over backwards for a woman but I doubt that you won't have the initial response of (i.e. "Pumpkin, what's the matter, sweetie huh? Come, here love, we're going to get through this together.")

 

[Jameo]

Get outta here! You'd risk a perfectly good laptop in a fit of temper?

Keep an old-fashioned wood handled toilet plunger in each room of your house. When Steve gets stupid, start beating him with it. This will not only get your point across, but you don't care if you break the plunger. AND it will amuse your friends when you tell them you beat your husband with a toilet plunger.

Great idea!

 

[Chain729]

Scenario 1: It's not you they're mad at, you can't fix it, and they don't want your opinion.

Scenario 2: You are the one they're mad at and they think if you paid attention you'd already know why.

Scenario 3: Head games. Love to watch you squirm.

Scenario 4: They're mad at you about something you did in a dream and if they tell you that, you'll say they're stupid and a REAL fight will occur, so they're letting it wear off.

None of the above, is good.

Scenario 1 addition: ...opinion or want you to waste time worrying about it.

Scenario 5: They're mad at you or something else, but need time to sort it out in their own head before talking about it. And the emotion is stronger than either their communication skills or their care for communication and so, you weren't told this.

I'm frequently guilty of S1 Rev A and S5, in addition to wanting to "cool down" first.