Question for the men

[vraiblonde]

Because, in my past experience, when a problem has been addressed, the other person either immediately goes into total denial or the defense mechanism kicks in. Sometimes it's better to just vent and get it out of your system. If the problem is bad enough, it will persist. Then you address it, after you've applied the appropriate protective padding or stocked up on tissues.

IMO people rarely "learn from their mistakes" and make a change. If that were the case, we would not have much to biatch about. It's the repetitive bullcrap that continues to go on time and time again that is worthy of biatch sessions.

 

[RoseRed]

I guess there are benefits to being single.

 

[kwillia]

i used to complain on a daily basis about my wife leaving a damp towel on the bed, so i just started putting a damp towel on the clothes she was gonna wear that night, see problem solved. There has been no towels left on the bed

Great communication! You got your point across without having to cross words...

 

[fddog]

Great communication! You got your point across without having to cross words...

yup

 

[migtig]

Cause you don't hang around for the repetitive bullcrap...

No, cause:
The mistakes of my past do not define who I am today.

 

[mAlice]

My hubby only has nice things to say about me to his friends, and they all wish they had a wife like me.

 

[kom526]

Here's how:



The BIL should have kept his mouth shut. And if he couldn't keep his mouth shut, his wife shouldn't have come and gossiped with you about it - she should have just said, "My my..." and forgotten it. When she ran to you blabbing, you should have taken it for what it was - guy talk and general complaining - and left it alone.

Man law violation!

 

[mAlice]

i used to complain on a daily basis about my wife leaving a damp towel on the bed, so i just started putting a damp towel on the clothes she was gonna wear that night, see problem solved. There has been no towels left on the bed

I often use this form of communication. It's rarely misunderstood.

 

[Toxick]

B/S it doesn't happen! Men are just as bad if not worse about whining!

I didn't say guys don't whine.

I said guys don't like to listen to other guys whine.


And in my experience, men don't sit around and badmouth their wives and get all woman-hatey while playing cards, drinking beer, watching football, or having a tupperware party.

One night above situation happened. When us girls were done at the mall we ended up at little sister's house. Little sister calls her hubby who's at the bar to let him know she was home. The boys decide to break and head home. Little sister's husband calls her and spilled all the beans on everything both brother in laws had been biatching about all night.

Sorry. I stopped reading right there.


Sounds like those guys had a bunch of sore vagina's though, and were having BF's about it.

 

[Larry Gude]

Well...

What do you all complain about women with your guy friends? You're playing ball or sitting at a bar with a bunch of buddies and one of them says, "My wife drives me crazy with this [insert complaint here]" and the rest of the guys respond with, "My wife does that all the time and it drives me crazy too!"

What are the complaints?

...it goes something like this;

Larry: "My wife never helps around the house."

Anonymous #1: "yeah! Mine neither!"

Annony #2: "Yep. Every time I can't find the remote she dusting or vacuuming or some such and just can't be bothered to help."

Larry: "Yeah, and whats with the TV. She's always gotta have that going on?"

#1 " Yep. Like clock work."

#2 "Never fails. The game coems on and NOW that needs to be cleaned. Dust, dust, dust..."

Annonymous #3 "Yeah! Least she could do is look for the remote while she's doing that, but nooooo..."

Larry "Right, so I'm like, "Dear, this is a big play! It's third and three and that kid was drafted specifically to pick up 3rd and threes, so, could you hold up a minute with the dusting?!"

#2 "Yeah! And then they get all pizzy "If you EVER want sex again I WILL have a clean house..."

#1 "Yeah! That's just rude. I never once tell her she can't have sex if I don't find the remote."

#3 "Rude. Just rude. He pick up the first down?"

Larry "So, it's this ENOURMOUS deal, it has to be dusted RIGHT now and I'm just minding my own business, watching the game, out of her way..."

#2 "And they get all rude."

#3 "Where was the remote?"

#1 "No communication either. I got a beer. I got the game on. I'm sitting there. You guys are on the way over. Pizza's been called in. What else I gotta say?"

Larry "It's like you have actually spell it out or something..."

#2 "Like, dear, it's SUNDAY, SUN-DAY. Right...hel-oooo"

#3 "Yeah, and no remote. Do you have to write it down or what?"

Larry "Then the dishawsher has to be run..."

#2 "Yep. It's like, the other half of the sink has NOTHING in it and they HAVE to turn that on...and laundry. I still got them colored socks yet."

#1 "And the vaccuming cleaner. She just did that last week..."

Larry "And the week before that and the week before that..."

#3 "Hey! I didn't look in the sink? Maybe that's where the remote it!"



Same stuff, time and again. You just try and share feelings and cope.

 

[smoothmarine187]

She said this was a question for the men in here.. don't let the door hit you where the good lord split you.

I guess if being old and tired makes you a real man.....then you are at home my friend

 

[vraiblonde]

Same stuff, time and again. You just try and share feelings and cope.

 

[Tonio]

Because, in my past experience, when a problem has been addressed, the other person either immediately goes into total denial or the defense mechanism kicks in.

That has nothing to do with men or women and everything to do with emotional health. Some who practices that type of denial and defensiveness has deeper issues, and until those issues are resolved, he or she is going to have the same endless, pointless fights with the spouse.

 

[vraiblonde]

and until those issues are resolved, he or she is going to have the same endless, pointless fights with the spouse.

Well, no they won't. Because the spouse will ##### to her friends and not him.

 

[kwillia]

Oh Larry... you're killing me, man...

 

[fddog]

That has nothing to do with men or women and everything to do with emotional health. Some who practices that type of denial and defensiveness has deeper issues, and until those issues are resolved, he or she is going to have the same endless, pointless fights with the spouse.

 

[kom526]

...it goes something like this;

Larry: "My wife never helps around the house."

Anonymous #1: "yeah! Mine neither!"

Annony #2: "Yep. Every time I can't find the remote she dusting or vacuuming or some such and just can't be bothered to help."

Larry: "Yeah, and whats with the TV. She's always gotta have that going on?"

#1 " Yep. Like clock work."

#2 "Never fails. The game coems on and NOW that needs to be cleaned. Dust, dust, dust..."

Annonymous #3 "Yeah! Least she could do is look for the remote while she's doing that, but nooooo..."

Larry "Right, so I'm like, "Dear, this is a big play! It's third and three and that kid was drafted specifically to pick up 3rd and threes, so, could you hold up a minute with the dusting?!"

#2 "Yeah! And then they get all pizzy "If you EVER want sex again I WILL have a clean house..."

#1 "Yeah! That's just rude. I never once tell her she can't have sex if I don't find the remote."

#3 "Rude. Just rude. He pick up the first down?"

Larry "So, it's this ENOURMOUS deal, it has to be dusted RIGHT now and I'm just minding my own business, watching the game, out of her way..."

#2 "And they get all rude."

#3 "Where was the remote?"

#1 "No communication either. I got a beer. I got the game on. I'm sitting there. You guys are on the way over. Pizza's been called in. What else I gotta say?"

Larry "It's like you have actually spell it out or something..."

#2 "Like, dear, it's SUNDAY, SUN-DAY. Right...hel-oooo"

#3 "Yeah, and no remote. Do you have to write it down or what?"

Larry "Then the dishawsher has to be run..."

#2 "Yep. It's like, the other half of the sink has NOTHING in it and they HAVE to turn that on...and laundry. I still got them colored socks yet."

#1 "And the vaccuming cleaner. She just did that last week..."

Larry "And the week before that and the week before that..."

#3 "Hey! I didn't look in the sink? Maybe that's where the remote it!"



Same stuff, time and again. You just try and share feelings and cope.

Well? Did he pickup the first?

 

[nachomama]

That has nothing to do with men or women and everything to do with emotional health. Some who practices that type of denial and defensiveness has deeper issues, and until those issues are resolved, he or she is going to have the same endless, pointless fights with the spouse.

That's why I divorced him.

 

[Tonio]

Well, no they won't. Because the spouse will ##### to her friends and not him.

I'm saying that the one with the deeper emotional issues has to address those on his or her own. The other spouse can be supportive, but it's out of the spouse's control. At the risk of sounding like Dr. Phil, the one with the issues has to want to change.

 

[Larry Gude]

Touch...

Well? Did he pickup the first?

...DOWN, baby!