Respecting parents' wishes

amyinmd

amyinmd

New Member
Grandparents are supposed to spoil grandchildren! Rocking them and giving too much ice cream is their job.:buddies: If it's something serious like not using car seats then you as a parent need to step in. But rocking a crying baby? Really!
 
Bann

Bann

Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
mamissa3 said:
What about helping out in the house?? When mothers, fathers, and inlaws come do you help or wnat help from them? like Dishes, dinner, laundry folded or would u assume they sit on their butts and do absoulty nothing? I have terrible inlaws so i am courious to see how other people do it? By the way i dont want a maid just asking lol!
Click to expand...


My mom would offer to help & pitch in with the kids. Dad would entertain them as they got older. (he didn't really relate to babies! :lol:)

Ex-MIL did offer to help - after things were nearly done. :lol: And she would even make a point of saying "I suppose I should have offered to help, now that you're all done, Bann". :rolleyes: She also came to me one day & insulted my ratty linens. Somehow one of the "cleaning rags" got put in with the regular washcloths. She came into the living room and held up this ratty cloth & commented about how she'd "never had a washcloth look like that - in all her years."

In hindsight, I was too nice for not telling her that I could completely see how that was, seeing as how she was such a poor housekeeper. :killingme
 
Bann

Bann

Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
CalvertNewbie said:
It does sound kind of strange that they wouldn't spend time with the kids so you could at least get the housework & cooking done. Isn't that why they come to visit, to spend time with the grandkids? But the fact that they stay in a hotel......how did you swing that one? :whistle:
Click to expand...

My MIL didn't come to see the kids. I mean she *said* she couldn't wait to see the kids - but then that's all she did. SEE them. As in walk by her, play in the yard, etc. I don't even recall her reading to them, telling them stories, etc. She would sit and talk to her son - to the exclusion of everyone else. They'd gossip about the people "back home" and the various family members back there, but she rarely interacted with the kids beyond simple small talk.

But she's an Ex, so I don't have to worry about her anymore!
 
SoccerMom2

SoccerMom2

New Member
My Mom doesn't see or do anything with my kids. She has 2 small kids 5 and 4 to worry about. She doesn't even see them either. She works nights and sleeps all day. When it is her day off she sleeps. Some things never change. I am ok with that. We don't like her any way...lol! My in laws are great. We have our moments but that never affects the kids. I just wished they would come to my house instead of us going to them.
 
B

Beavers5

New Member
Bann said:
My MIL didn't come to see the kids. I mean she *said* she couldn't wait to see the kids - but then that's all she did. SEE them. As in walk by her, play in the yard, etc. I don't even recall her reading to them, telling them stories, etc. She would sit and talk to her son - to the exclusion of everyone else. They'd gossip about the people "back home" and the various family members back there, but she rarely interacted with the kids beyond simple small talk.

But she's an Ex, so I don't have to worry about her anymore!
Click to expand...

MIL and FIL don't so much as acknowledge our kids either; actually I still haven't figured out why they visit. MIL sits and reads the whole time she is here, FIL sleeps the whole time. The only thing they actually do is offer to take us out to eat.... the offer usually is made while I'm making dinner. One time at their house about 10 years ago, they were allowed to watch my son once. He was four months old, and my husband and I left him there to run to the store less than a mile away. When we came back about five minutes later, MIL and FIL were on the porch chatting with their neighbors. My son was in their bedroom (opposite end of the house), on their high bed (high enough they have a step stool for it), with their three cats and two dogs. He wasn't even in the center of the bed and there were no pillows around him. They haven't watched my kids since.

My mother has went against my wishes for my kids enough times that she isn't allowed to watch them either. But it wasn't something as minor as rocking them. She took my son to a bar to visit her friends, couldn't understand that I didn't want my 35 lb child in the front seat of her car, chain smokes in the car without rolling down a window, has loaded guns in her house (she feels its okay since they are under the bed), etc, etc. :jerry: And she still thinks I am just being an overprotective parent and spiteful by not letting her have more of a relationship with them.

To the original poster's question: I think that where to draw the line about the parents' wishes definitely depends on the situation. And definitely rock your grandbaby, they are so sweet to snuggle with at that age.
 
P

poster

New Member
I was the opposite, I felt she was only going to be little once and if I wanted to hold her I was going to do it. Thankfully she didn't turn into a "hip" baby. She was happy to be held or not - didn't seem to matter to her, she was secure. Funny though, she didn't like to be rocked and is now 9yrs and doesn't like rocking chairs.

I wouldn't have been happy if she was feed something I didn't provide or give direction for. And it did bother me if someone (MIL) tried to hold her when she clearly just didn't want to be held. But unless she was truely being hurt or made uncomfortable (which was only once) I just let it go.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top