When I'm having control issues and being bitchy, my sweetie says, "You look so pretty today. Your hair looks terrific."
< /bitching> < bigsmilieface>
< /bitching> < bigsmilieface>
Say something nice...
- Thread starter vraiblonde
- Start date
kwillia
n/a
He's a keeeeeper!!!!!!
And when he's being a grouchy pants you said you just moosh on him so you are a keeeeeeeeper too!!!!!! 
frequentflier
happy to be living
If the wife gets bitchy, I back hand her and tell her to shut up and make me a sammich.
You dreaming again?
slotpuppy
Ass-hole
frequentflier
happy to be living
Tilted
..
I've got something nice that I'd say about women in general. I hope this does't come off as a backhanded compliment, but it might.
I'd say that most women are pretty easy to please. As mush as we guys like to pretend otherwise, and although women as a group do have their quirks and/or flaws, you all typically don't ask much of us. If we make the slightest effort, show the slightest concern, do the smallest things, the women in our lives seem tickled pink. That's surely not true of all women, but it's true of most. At least, that's been my experience. And... if we happen to make a moderate amount of effort, if we go above and beyond what's required just a bit every once and a while, you gals are off telling the world how we're the greatest boyfriend / husband / man in all of creation.
So, anyway, there's my nice thing about women in general: You don't ask much, you're satisfied with a small amount of effort and a minimal display of concern. We men pretend otherwise, but deep down we know we have it pretty good when it comes to female expectations. We won't admit that, not in specific contexts (and sometimes not even to ourselves), but we know it.
Larry Gude
Strung Out
I've got something nice that I'd say about women in general. I hope this does't come off as a backhanded compliment, but it might.
I'd say that most women are pretty easy to please. As mush as we guys like to pretend otherwise, and although women as a group do have their quirks and/or flaws, you all typically don't ask much of us. If we make the slightest effort, show the slightest concern, do the smallest things, the women in our lives seem tickled pink. That's surely not true of all women, but it's true of most. At least, that's been my experience. And... if we happen to make a moderate amount of effort, if we go above and beyond what's required just a bit every once and a while, you gals are off telling the world how we're the greatest boyfriend / husband / man in all of creation.
So, anyway, there's my nice thing about women in general: You don't ask much, you're satisfied with a small amount of effort and a minimal display of concern. We men pretend otherwise, but deep down we know we have it pretty good when it comes to female expectations. We won't admit that, not in specific contexts (and sometimes not even to ourselves), but we know it.
You ever been married?
Tilted
..
No, maybe that's the difference (and the key).
I've been in a number of long-term live-in relationships though, and that's been my experience even in those relationships - i.e., even dealing with them on a constant, day in day out basis, long after the infatuation of the unknown has passed. It's of course not the same as being married in some important ways though.
EDIT: Do you mean to suggest to me that women, who aren't otherwise, become insufferable or just very demanding when they get married?
Larry Gude
Strung Out
No, maybe that's the difference (and the key).
I've been in a number of long-term live-in relationships though, and that's been my experience even in those relationships - i.e., even dealing with them on a constant, day in day out basis, long after the infatuation of the unknown has passed. It's of course not the same as being married in some important ways though.
Have you any children?
Tilted
..
No.
Are you suggesting that women, who aren't otherwise, become demanding of their husbands / boyfriends when they have children?
Larry Gude
Strung Out
Not at all. What I am saying, not suggesting, is that marriage and kids changes pretty much everything for women AND men.
There is nothing more wonderful and effortless in the world than that magical being in love stage. What then happens is...life. A bump here, a slip there, a disagreement over there and then, things become challenging and difficult. From there, it all boils down to conflict resolution. Do you do it peacefully, satisfactorily, for both parties? If yes, you go on to live happily ever after. If not, you find ways to make do. If not that, then, it comes apart.
If your original statement were remotely true, that it is easy to please a woman, there'd never be a divorce if for no other reason than guys would prefer everything to be peachy double keen all the time. That is NOT to blame it on women, at all. Women don't want to be unhappy, in general, any more than men. But, over time, fissures develop and they need to be fixed to the satisfaction of both sides or they get worse.
To compound things, I know guys with LONG time happy marriages, from their view, where I can't begin to believe their wives are happy and, the relationships as they are, are NOTHING I'd want my marriage to be. I know guys with long time marriages who say they are happy but, again, not my kind of happy. And then there are the long term marriages where both people are happy enough.
Again, it is EASY to please a woman at some points and anything but at others and that, again, isn't her fault or the guys. It's the challenges of life. Kids. Time.
Vrai is my ex and she seems to have found an AWESOME guy and the little I know about it, from my experience, he truly sounds like THE guy for her. Maybe that's the key, to have your ex pick your Mr. or Mrs. Right because no one knows you, good and bad, like an ex and no one knows their own shortcomings in that relationship, obviously, like you know your own. This dude sounds like he has every strength, for her, where I was weak. It's not that I picked him or had anything to do about it but, again, from my seat, it could be a guide to "Here is how to make it good; choose well at the outset."
Larry Gude
Strung Out
Depends on what you want out of life. I'd have been very happy had I been able to make my last marriage work but, I couldn't. So, if what you're doing is fulfilling and satisfying, winnah winnah!
Tilted, I agree and I don't meant this to sound crappy but women learn to have low expectations when it comes to men being sweet and thoughtful. That's just not what they do, as a general rule. So yes, when you *are* sweet and thoughtful - even when it's just something small - we will fawn on you and make a big deal out of it. This is assuming a genuinely loving and committed relationship; if she's in it for some other reason she won't give a damn what you do, you will be wrong.
Something I've noticed:
"They" say that if you treat your man like a king, he will treat you like a princess. That has not been my experience. I have found that the better you treat your man, the more lazy and complacent he becomes and figures he's doing enough to keep you happy, so why bother making any effort? Monello is the first relationship I've had where we are our own little mutual admiration society and the more thoughtful and kind one is, the other ratchets up to match or exceed. We'd give you a toothache it's so sweet.
Something I've noticed:
"They" say that if you treat your man like a king, he will treat you like a princess. That has not been my experience. I have found that the better you treat your man, the more lazy and complacent he becomes and figures he's doing enough to keep you happy, so why bother making any effort? Monello is the first relationship I've had where we are our own little mutual admiration society and the more thoughtful and kind one is, the other ratchets up to match or exceed. We'd give you a toothache it's so sweet.
frequentflier
happy to be living
slotpuppy
Ass-hole
Tilted
..
Not at all. What I am saying, not suggesting, is that marriage and kids changes pretty much everything for women AND men.
There is nothing more wonderful and effortless in the world than that magical being in love stage. What then happens is...life. A bump here, a slip there, a disagreement over there and then, things become challenging and difficult. From there, it all boils down to conflict resolution. Do you do it peacefully, satisfactorily, for both parties? If yes, you go on to live happily ever after. If not, you find ways to make do. If not that, then, it comes apart.
If your original statement were remotely true, that it is easy to please a woman, there'd never be a divorce if for no other reason than guys would prefer everything to be peachy double keen all the time. That is NOT to blame it on women, at all. Women don't want to be unhappy, in general, any more than men. But, over time, fissures develop and they need to be fixed to the satisfaction of both sides or they get worse.
To compound things, I know guys with LONG time happy marriages, from their view, where I can't begin to believe their wives are happy and, the relationships as they are, are NOTHING I'd want my marriage to be. I know guys with long time marriages who say they are happy but, again, not my kind of happy. And then there are the long term marriages where both people are happy enough.
Again, it is EASY to please a woman at some points and anything but at others and that, again, isn't her fault or the guys. It's the challenges of life. Kids. Time.
Vrai is my ex and she seems to have found an AWESOME guy and the little I know about it, from my experience, he truly sounds like THE guy for her. Maybe that's the key, to have your ex pick your Mr. or Mrs. Right because no one knows you, good and bad, like an ex and no one knows their own shortcomings in that relationship, obviously, like you know your own. This dude sounds like he has every strength, for her, where I was weak. It's not that I picked him or had anything to do about it but, again, from my seat, it could be a guide to "Here is how to make it good; choose well at the outset."
Understood.
But I'm not just talking about women being easy to please in the early stages of relationships, when infatuation and the newness of love suppress whatever incompatibilities might exist or the complications of everyday life. I'm talking about years down the road, I'm talking about after you've lived with someone for many years even. It's been my experience that women remain very easy to please, and when my girlfriends have been unhappy it's been pretty easy for me to identify that it was because I wasn't making even a slight effort to let them know I still cared, not because they had become demanding. I get much the same sense about other relationships when friends have described to me what's going on in theirs - it's like, dude, what do you expect, you aren't making any effort at all to let her know that you, you know, care. What you say she's asking you for isn't that much, it isn't unreasonable.
Frankly, I think guys in general are spoiled. Women aren't that hard to please, you just have to make some effort. Of course, your mileage may vary, but that's been my experience.
Oh, and my point in asking about marriage is that I can't really speak to how that affects things. Perhaps it does change the dynamic such that women become more demanding. If that's the case, that's the case. But it isn't just being together for a length of time that does it, not in my experience. I've been in a couple of relationships that were considerably longer than lots of failed marriages. And even at the end of those relationships, my girlfriends weren't at all demanding. It was mostly me no longer being interested in putting in any effort.
Anyway, from my perspective that's how I see it: Women in general are pretty easy to please, both in the beginning of relationships and years later. Maybe marriage tends to change that. Maybe having kids tends to change that. Maybe everyone's experience is different, or perhaps it's their perspective or their own expectations. Maybe I've just been lucky and had great girlfriends, though - with respect to them - I don't think it's been just that.
Larry Gude
Strung Out
You're going to get me killed. Dead.
I am NOT saying 'women become more demanding'. I am saying marriage, kids, makes the relationship more...challenging. You ever ask yourself why you were doing less for her? Or ask your pals why they're doing less? It sure isn't so she'll be less lovey dovey. It sure isn't because you, or they, want problems.
Why did you, do you, do less over time? Your pals?
