I didn't see the Dr L segment, but I completely understand not wanting to have sex with someone if you're upset with them, not feeling much in the mood at the time (such as tension over something ELSE in your life) or having some kind of emotional tension between you and your partner. In those cases, sex isn't being 'used as a weapon' or 'punishment' although it might look that way.
But it is completely possible - and I've had it happen, in the distant past - that a significant other uses sex as a means of manipulating my behavior, to gain the control of the relationship, to force an issue or compliance, to get something. Once it's clear to me that that is what is happening, I'm gone. It's not because I want it all the time but mainly because I consider it the most precious intimate thing I can share with someone. It would be like a man threatening to reveal to the world every precious secret, every private detail buried deep in a woman's heart - to *every* Tom, Dick and Harry, to her co-workers, her friends, her family - every embarassing thought and feeling - as a weapon to force compliance. You might just as well say "I withhold 'love' in this relationship until you cooperate". It's not a commodity.
Using sex as a weapon in *that* case, to me, is betrayal. To me, betrayal is the worst thing a partner can do because it is deliberate.
But it is completely possible - and I've had it happen, in the distant past - that a significant other uses sex as a means of manipulating my behavior, to gain the control of the relationship, to force an issue or compliance, to get something. Once it's clear to me that that is what is happening, I'm gone. It's not because I want it all the time but mainly because I consider it the most precious intimate thing I can share with someone. It would be like a man threatening to reveal to the world every precious secret, every private detail buried deep in a woman's heart - to *every* Tom, Dick and Harry, to her co-workers, her friends, her family - every embarassing thought and feeling - as a weapon to force compliance. You might just as well say "I withhold 'love' in this relationship until you cooperate". It's not a commodity.
Using sex as a weapon in *that* case, to me, is betrayal. To me, betrayal is the worst thing a partner can do because it is deliberate.
very good huntr ... give it up freely to the woman! 
