Southern MD: The Best and the Worst

[Heretic]

9 more months and I will never return to this place. In 5 years I predict that every piece of land will be either a strip mall or a parking lot for a strip mall and people will still have their heads in the sand saying how much they like the country life. I guess stripmalls are considered rural.

This place is turning into Generica and will look like a stripmall in any other sprawling area in the country soon. I hear people ##### about it all the time, guess whos fault that is? The country government which is full of....you guessed it Good Ole Boys. The battle between naitives and here comes has already been won and there is nothing anyone can do to change it short of the base closing.

Funny thing is if I moved here 15-20 years ago I would have probably liked the place too.

 

[Oz]

Originally posted by jlabsher
The thing I really hate is lack of a good governmental system. What is it about MD that keeps them from having an actual governmental jurisdiction smaller than county? If there was an actual town of California, Great Mills, etc instead of just the county board to run things, I believe it would be much better.

Leonardtown...

 

[Frank]

I've always loved the beauty of this area, the relative quiet, the unspoiled nature, the water everywhere.

That being said, much as I like so many people down here - such as are on the boards - I haven't found the people here, in general to be very warm to outsiders. The sentiment seems to be "we don't mind you being here, but we really wish you would just go back where you came from". The attitude of, "you can always just LEAVE" that has been voiced here, has been one that I have faced since I arrived, and hearing it repeated here doesn't do much to dispel that idea.

 

[pilot]

I've had plenty of mixed experiences when it comes to people here. I've met locals who seemed quite welcoming, others who were less so. As a relative newcomer to the area, I'm glad to be here, but sometimes I get embarassed when some of my fellow-newcomers make snide comments about the locals.

Honestly, folks, this area has quite a variety of people and, believe it or not, there's room for all of us. The area is what you make of it.

 

[Darlene]

Originally posted by pilot
I've had plenty of mixed experiences when it comes to people here. I've met locals who seemed quite welcoming, others who were less so. As a relative newcomer to the area, I'm glad to be here, but sometimes I get embarassed when some of my fellow-newcomers make snide comments about the locals.

Honestly, folks, this area has quite a variety of people and, believe it or not, there's room for all of us. The area is what you make of it.

Ya know pilot, your right. I think it is sort of a catch 22. The "locals" get annoyed when someone says something negative about St. Mary's Co. Some of the "newcomers" get annoyed because they don't want to be here. I guess all of us could be a little more considerate.

 

[Cracka]

Originally posted by vraiblonde


And Cracka, let me give a for the little I've seen of Ohio. We RVed to Columbus, then south to see the very cool flood wall - nice state and nice people!

Thanks vrai,nice to hear something like that .

 

[Heretic]

Originally posted by Darlene


Ya know pilot, your right. I think it is sort of a catch 22. The "locals" get annoyed when someone says something negative about St. Mary's Co. Some of the "newcomers" get annoyed because they don't want to be here. I guess all of us could be a little more considerate.

Darlene its interesting that you didnt put down anything that points to any locals being any kind of source to the problem.

Like I said earlier I came to this place with an open mind and then all I heard was locals complain about new people, blame new people for every problem in the county they reap what they sow. The only thing that bothered me for a while was all the road construction on 235, but I assumed that would eventually go away (silly me).

 

[Oz]

Originally posted by Heretic


Darlene its interesting that you didnt put down anything that points to any locals being any kind of source to the problem.

Like I said earlier I came to this place with an open mind and then all I heard was locals complain about new people, blame new people for every problem in the county they reap what they sow. The only thing that bothered me for a while was all the road construction on 235, but I assumed that would eventually go away (silly me).

Hold on Heretic... It's not the locals who complain. It's the transplants. Not the people who came here to work. It's those people who came here for a rural way of life when they retire, and the prosperity of the region has disrupted that. They are the complainers. The locals, as in the native sons and daughters, remember a way of life here where the only opportunity was to leave for a better life, job, education. Today, those things have come to us, right here at home - the place where we were born.

Personally, I'm glad you're here. I'm glad that whatever opportunity brought you here, exists in our county. If you dislike the area, then you're fortunate that you can move to find something better. I don't want you to go, but hopefully someone will come in to take your place.

The people who need to go are the ones who have turned you off to the area. They're the ones who don't have any appreciation for St Mary's County, when the only opportunity was as a farm laborer at $5 day. I'm fortunate enough to be too young for that, but my parents are members of that generation. That's close enough for me!

You're pinning this one on the wrong group, and I hope that after considering my comments, you realize your error.

 

[Frank]

Originally posted by Nodnarb

You're pinning this one on the wrong group, and I hope that after considering my comments, you realize your error.

Afraid I'm with Heretic on this one - and I respectfully disagree, he is not "in error". I've dealt with people who have been quite vocal about wanting ALL the newcomers - and that referring to people like me who came here eight years ago - to just leave. Just leave. They aren't reacting to 'complaints' - they just don't want you here, period. Now, they may be BLAMING newcomers for changes they don't like - but it's not MY fault.

I've lived in a lot of areas around the country, mostly the Northeast. This is not the worst as far as the natives-only attitude, and I've seen it elsewhere. And I have thankfully met some very nice people here, but more often than not, it hasn't been warm with many people here - there's an attitude that if you aren't born here, you should just go.

 

[Oz]

Originally posted by Frank


Afraid I'm with Heretic on this one - and I respectfully disagree, he is not "in error". I've dealt with people who have been quite vocal about wanting ALL the newcomers - and that referring to people like me who came here eight years ago - to just leave. Just leave. They aren't reacting to 'complaints' - they just don't want you here, period. Now, they may be BLAMING newcomers for changes they don't like - but it's not MY fault.

I've lived in a lot of areas around the country, mostly the Northeast. This is not the worst as far as the natives-only attitude, and I've seen it elsewhere. And I have thankfully met some very nice people here, but more often than not, it hasn't been warm with many people here - there's an attitude that if you aren't born here, you should just go.

Well, I haven't and could not be told that, because I was born here, 30-some years ago... The people who I have heard say things like you are referring to, in various public meetings, printed newspaper letters, etc, are those who have come here since (let's say) 1970.

Let me ask you this. Do you think the McKay's don't want you here? They just opened a store in Wildewood on Friday to replace the corporate chain that didn't have roots here. Without you, that wouldn't be here, and the shopping center might not exist. Do you think the Dean and Dyson Lumber families don't want you here? Do you think the Burch's don't want you here? I could go on and on. But, these are all families who have roots in St. Mary's County farming, but now welcome the opportunity for a better life thanks to the jobs that brought you here.

Don't be offended by the statements made by a few people in our county. Just think about the families who are happy to have you and the opportunity that brought you here. I GUARANTEE you that we outnumber those making those dumb comments.

 

[Darlene]

Originally posted by Nodnarb


Don't be offended by the statements made by a few people in our county. Just think about the families who are happy to have you and the opportunity that brought you here. I GUARANTEE you that we outnumber those making those dumb comments.

I agree with you Nodnarb. I was born and raised here...in Lexington Park to be exact. There has always been "newcomers" because of the base. This is not something that just happened in the last 20 years. I have always loved to meet new people. Just don't want to listen to someone complain because they have to be here.

 

[Frank]

I don't know if the McKay's don't want "me" here - "me" being, someone who has arrived here since 1970, a definition of newcomer that is so bizarre to me. (I can't imagine living somewhere for nearly 30 years, and have people think you're NOT a native). I think there's a lack of logic in the way people FEEL. I think they want some things, like jobs at the base, but they don't want other *vital* things, like businesses and housing in the area to support what goes on, at the base. I think people want revenue to build things like parks, and boat ramps, and libraries and so forth, but forget that you need tax dollars and commerce to get it. I think people who live here want the good things that growth brings, but - they want their cake and eat it too.

And I think some of it gets blamed on people coming to the area. Who, coming to this area, says - you know what we need? A Target - *another* supermarket - another office park - more "Wawa's". Who moves here wanting that? But the refrain goes up that if it weren't for all the 'new' people, it wouldn't be here. Baloney - the people making those decisions aren't the newcomers.

You know, some time ago, I checked the yearly birth rate and population for St. Mary's county - I seem to remember that it's been roughly 1,000 more births, than deaths, per year since about 1970, which would account for most of the growth, assuming people tend to remain here. So the biggest part of the population 'explosion' here, has been right within the county.

 

[vraiblonde]

Just to reiterate one of Nodnarb's points:

Has every single local you've met wanted to run you out of town? Or was it just a few? What I'm trying to say is that why should a whole community be stigmatized for the feelings of a few of its members? That's like saying that all newcomers hate St. Mary's and want to get out. We know by experience that neither is true - plenty of newcomers love it there and plenty of natives love having them.

 

[Heretic]

Originally posted by vraiblonde
Just to reiterate one of Nodnarb's points:

Has every single local you've met wanted to run you out of town? Or was it just a few? What I'm trying to say is that why should a whole community be stigmatized for the feelings of a few of its members? That's like saying that all newcomers hate St. Mary's and want to get out. We know by experience that neither is true - plenty of newcomers love it there and plenty of natives love having them.

Not at all Vrai, Ive met some excellent people, some have their roots here, some don't. I do feel that all newcomers are stigmatized by a small but very vocal part of the community.

 

[Frank]

Originally posted by vraiblonde
Just to reiterate one of Nodnarb's points:

Has every single local you've met wanted to run you out of town? Or was it just a few? What I'm trying to say is that why should a whole community be stigmatized for the feelings of a few of its members? That's like saying that all newcomers hate St. Mary's and want to get out. We know by experience that neither is true - plenty of newcomers love it there and plenty of natives love having them.

Of course not - it's just odd, because out of the many places I've lived, in this area, it's more frequent. When I lived in Boston, not everyone talked like the Kennedy's (note - NO ONE calls Boston "Bean Town") but - you won't FIND people that talk that way anywhere else. You see what I mean? I never saw this in say, Montgomery or Howard County, where I've lived before. I never saw it in the places I lived in New York state, and city, or in many parts of Pennsylvania. I did see it in Northeastern Pa.

I've liked a lot of people down here - I've just never lived in many areas where people are unfriendly *because* you're new - I'd much rather people like or dislike me because of who I am or what I do.

 

[vraiblonde]

Honestly, I think it's because it's a military town. We lived in Waynesboro, PA before we moved to St. Mary's - teeny tiny town and they REALLY don't like non-natives there. Before that, we were in Augusta, GA and had to hear a lot about how bad the military people are and how they're wrecking the community.

Also Countians are defensive because they're used to people coming from larger cities, looking around and going, "Um...okay..." and talking endlessly about how much better the place they came from was.

People love their home town. I moved away from mine 20 years ago but, still, every place I've ever lived has been an armpit compared with Lincoln, NE.

 

[pilot]

Originally posted by Nodnarb

Well, I haven't and could not be told that, because I was born here, 30-some years ago... The people who I have heard say things like you are referring to, in various public meetings, printed newspaper letters, etc, are those who have come here since (let's say) 1970.

Nodnarb:

Very perceptive of you.

I grew up in a rural area, and we would have been thrilled to have seen new people and economic opportunities move in. Just because someone happened to be born in a certain area doesn't mean they're happy with everything the way it is.

However, the people who move into an area (if they come by choice, as many people in the 70's did) generally come because they like the area the way it is. They're the ones who are anti-change.

 

[Ken King]

I tend to agree that there are very few “locals” that will come right out and say that they don’t want any specific person here or not. Personally, I think we are a friendly lot. That is until we come across someone who blatantly displays that they don’t want to be here and then they will hear “well, just move”. I have no problem with people who want to come here and become a part of the community. It is only those that make the claim that there is nothing for them here and that this place and people suck.

I grew up here (wasn’t born here but have spent most of my life here, age 1 to 4, 7 to 17, and ever since I was 29) and remember the $5 a day farm labor employment opportunities (specifically tobacco farming). Back then I thought I was doing something (because I was a kid and $5 was a big deal for me) when in reality I wasn’t, but that was all there was.

Based on the Census site growth rates, and some calculations of the data found, it shows that 1/3 of the growth is due to migration. However, once a person is here those migratory numbers do not account for any birth additions based upon their arrival. So how much growth is attributed to those that migrate into the county? Don’t know, as it isn’t broken down into a usable format, at least for me. But it is safe to bet that they too have children after arriving here.

I think if all of us acted a little more cordially this wouldn't be an issue at all. If those that don't like it here simply look for greener pastures and go to them when they find them none of this would be an issue. It is nice to dream isn't it.

 

[Oz]

Originally posted by pilot


Nodnarb:

Very perceptive of you.

I grew up in a rural area, and we would have been thrilled to have seen new people and economic opportunities move in. Just because someone happened to be born in a certain area doesn't mean they're happy with everything the way it is.

However, the people who move into an area (if they come by choice, as many people in the 70's did) generally come because they like the area the way it is. They're the ones who are anti-change.

I certainly didn't say that because you're born here, you're happy with the way it is. But, Heretic was painting with a pretty broad brush, so why can't I? And then, I did try to narrow it down some to make my case. Sure, you don't know if the McKay family is happy that *you* are here, so stop in to their Wildewood store and ask David if he's pleased to have the opportunity to open a store in Wildewood? That opportunity exists because you and a "few" thousand others have jobs here.

It's all in who you listen to and how much credibility they have. But, from my seat, the people trying to get rid of you are the ones who came here to slow down. Not those of us who are still trying to earn our keep, buy our homes, better ourselves, etc. But, you won't budge me on the point that the people who don't "want" you here are the vocal minority, not the majority of our population.

And Ken, $5 a day was a big deal at one point, but we all know what the future of that turned out to be. As much as we depend on the government, and as uneasy as that is at times, we have a far brighter future than when the future was farming.

 

[SmallTown]

The argument concerning if McKays wants us here or not is kinda off the mark.. They open the business to make money, they don't care really where that money comes from. But at the same time doesn't mean they want the newbies in their community.
Kinda like at one time when blacks were not allowed into certain restaurants. When there doors did open to the blacks, they gladly took their money but still didn't really want them there.

One thing that is kinda interesting is that people in this thead keep saying how friendly the people are here.. But in other threads people have gone off about their displeasure with all of the rude people they encounter at restaurants, stores, lack of profesionalism at many of the businesses (I remember a thread where people were trashing some of the local auto repair businesses), etc. So which is it? Are we saying that yes the people are nice, but only the ones I work with because we are in the same line of work and can relate to one another? Just very confusing.. Then I hear people talking about how beautiful the unspoiled scenery is here, then the next person talks about how this area is just basically one big parking lot with a few strip malls in between.