Unnecessary Loss Of Life

[mainman]

MM, as your father, I command you to apologize to BS.

Signed,

Darth Vader

Dear Dad,

Don't forget, I get to pick the home you go into when you get old.

~MM~

 

[MMDad]

Dear Dad,

Don't forget, I get to pick the home you go into when you get old.

~MM~

I get to pick yours two years later, so watch out! By the way, you stand to inherit a ton of debt.

 

[BS Gal]

Dear Dad,

Don't forget, I get to pick the home you go into when you get old.

~MM~

Respect your dad's wishes and send me a big

 

[Wenchy]

A 3 month old thread was bumped b/c I did not realize it was that old...and it was bumped again for like the 50th time because people were asking questions and I was trying to answer them!!

Welcome to the forums. HA!

I hope we will see you posting again.

Take everything said here with a grain of salt.

 

[Nickel]

This posted by PrchJrkr in which case Cablechick agreed with a . Does this automatically make this everyone elses opinion?

Well, I agree with it too. There is no reason a 16 year old should be out at that time of night, there is nothing productive to be done that late. And I'd have that opinion wether she was acting recklessly and had the accident or not. I wouldn't dream of being out that late when I was 16, and I know my parents wouldn't have let me. It's very unfortunate that she lost her life as a result of a string of bad decisions. But it's very important that the "bad decisions" are stressed over and over and over again, in hopes that just one person will take them to heart and change their ways.

 

[PrchJrkr]

This posted by PrchJrkr in which case Cablechick agreed with a . Does this automatically make this everyone elses opinion?

I asked those questions and they have been answered. I meant to imply nothing.

I feel sympathy for those left behind and I'm sorry if my comments were taken in offense, but I'm getting tired of reading about unexperienced drivers losing their lives.

My daugther just turned 16. She is a good student and very bright, but she's not getting behind the wheel anytime soon, unless mom or dad are along. I remember what it was like to be that age, and Mike will back me on this, we ARE lucky we made it through those years. I still have a scar from a certain 1969 Camaro one of our friends owned. Luckily cars were made to absorb impact back then. The car was totalled, but the driver and 3 passengers walked away from it.

To all affected by this tragedy, you have my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Short_Cake]

The comment was heartless. Let me make one thing clear. I do not defend my daughters actions!! She did wrong, very wrong and the rest of us are paying for it. Yes, thank God she didn't hurt anyone else. I am a big sponsor for MADD and I stand behind their beliefs. I just think that some things are best left unsaid. Just remember the person you are talking about is no longer with us, it's the ones that are left and in pieces that have to hear these comments and I just think people should think twice before they say things like that.

Terry so sorry for your loss, and very sorry you have to listen to these heartless people as well. Some people never know when to shut up.

 

[bennydafig]

I didn't drink and drive as a teen, I didn't drive recklessly, I feared the consequences of getting caught.

Fear of retribution/ punishment from my dad kept me straight, and it only took one butt whippin at an early age to get that point across.

Picture Castro, except 6'4" 320 pounds. hands that looked like they were the size of 20 pund sledgehammers.

I really don't think time-outs would have had the same effect.

 

[nomoney]

Yes we are strangers...but if I may say so...didn't you all start out as strangers? Is this how all new members get treated? Judged and left without the slightest shred of sympathy?

There's some kind of rule that if they come on here talking about broken fridges or where to get their hair done, or where to fine a movie theater-that we have to be nice and sympathetic ; but I guess that rule flys out the window when it comes to talking about the death of a loved one.

Let me make this clear, I have no sympathy for drunk drivers, but I do have sympathy for their families. I'm sorry about the loss to your family. Yes it was her fault and yes thankfully she didn't hurt anyone else. But the point is she DIDNT hurt anyone else and from reading about her, already graduated from highschool, getting ready for college and having a well paying job on her own at the age of 16 she seemed to have her head on right. I think the parents did a great job to get her to that point. She made a bad decision that night but so do many other "legal age drinkers" every single day. No one can blame the parents for her decision - and by criticizing her death I'm sure that is how they are taking it. (whether it's meant to be directed towards them or not). I'm just sorry your family felt like they were being attacked on here because of other's having run ins with drunk drivers. Like Wenchy said take all the nasty comments with a grain of salt and be the better person then them and hope that when a tragedy like this happens to these people that they won't have to experience seeing it posted on the interenet with rude/tactless comments.

God Bless.

 

[Short_Cake]

It's a tough world out there, but we all need to be more sensitive. When I posted that my dad was dying from lung cancer, nobody came on and said "Well, it's his fault cause he smoked." Nobody even went there. I'm just trying to give back the support I am getting.

BS Gal, people should never come on and say its his fault because he smoked.. My dad passed away from lung cancer in 2000, and he never once smoked a day in his life. Sometimes these things just happen, and whatever the cause, it doesn't make losing them any easier, I know... Once again, you will always have my sympathy. I feel your pain and know what you are going thru.. As for Ambers family, I lost friends in high school in accidents such as this, and even though they were not family, we were very close friends and it was like losing family, and no it is not easy to deal with at all. But hopefully we all learn from their mistakes as we move on. I know I did.

 

[mAlice]

didn't you all start out as strangers? Is this how all new members get treated? Judged and left without the slightest shred of sympathy?

Yes. Welcome to somd.com

 

[Qurious]

Parents Could Be Liable For Underage Drinking

Parents Could Be Liable For Underage Drinking
Alcoholic Beverage Industry Teams With County Leaders

POSTED: 7:20 am EST November 9, 2005

ROCKVILLE, Md. -- In Montgomery County, Md., if youths are caught drinking, parents could be held accountable.

It's a sobering warning to parents who may throw a teen party this holiday season and allow drinking or not monitor the surreptitious consumption that often goes on.

And county officials warn that parents could be liable even if their teens throw a party while the parent is away.

But selling alcohol to a minor is illegal. So how do they get it? More than half of underage drinkers say they get it from an adult.

So, in an attempt to cut alcohol to teenagers off at the source, Montgomery County is once again rolling out its "Parents Who Host, Lose The Most" campaign.

The alcohol beverage industry has teamed up with Montgomery County leaders to stop underage drinking because they said they don't want teenagers as customers.

County police said they plan to keep the pressure on this holiday season, but encourage parents to be vigilant year round.

 

[Bruzilla]

As for this young lady, her death was a matter of a formula of speed+alcohol+weariness+inexperience, all of which were factors that she was in total control of at the time of the crash. Sorry to say it, but I just don't feel very sorry for people who just toss their lives away like that.

My reply to you for saying this is, I can only pray that you NEVER have to suffer the loss of a child or loved one. I don't understand how people can make such heartless comments like this. This is my daughter you are talking about. Yes she acted unresponsibly but it WAS NOT worth her losing her life over.

Sorry to say this, but it wasn't just your daughter that was acting irresponsible, you were as well. While I do feel sorry for your loss, I've also been in the law enforcement arena long enough to have seen many boys and girls just like yours end up the same way that yours did. And in most of those cases the causes are the same, and the reaction of parents is the same. You are personalizing this case, as you have every right to. I am generalizing this case, but as a means to convey a message to other parents, not to be mean or uncaring to you or your family.

The car that you allowed your daughter to get is not safe for a child her age. Maybe for you, but not for a rookie driver. My daughter is 19, and I helped her buy her first car... a Mercury Sable station wagon. It's big, heavy, under-powered, and can take a serious hit before conveying force to the occupants. Of course she wanted a small, sexy, sporty car, but it fell upon me as her parent to tell her that I would not help her out with that purchase. If she wanted a car, she was going to get a safe one. I also helped my oldest son, who also wanted a nice, fast, little car to cruise in. He's driving a 1973 Plymouth Satellite with a small V-8... again, underpowered, overweight, and lots of crumple space.

I'm always amazed at parents who will support their kids getting these lightweight, small, cars to start out in. Sure they look nice, but as you point out... an airbag is worthless if it doesn't deploy, and it will only deploy under specific circumstances. Crumple zones and heavy steel construction are working 24/7. Parents don't start their kids riding a bike on a 10-speed racer, they start them on a tricycle. So why do some feel it's okay to start them driving any differently?

Also, my wife and I have kept very close track of our kids as they've grown up. We've constantly instilled an appreciation for following rules, and punishment for violations. Like other parents we talked to our kids about the dangers of alcohol, but unlike other parents we also talked to our kids about the dangers of needing to fit in, or do things they know they shouldn't to impress other people. The best anti-drinking message in the World is worthless when contrasted with a need to impress others.

So, is my comment that your daughter's death was a matter of speed+alcohol+weariness+inexperience heartless, or am I just speaking the plain truth? You can call me uncaring, unfeeling, heartless, and many other names... believe me my kids have called me all of those at one point or another over the years. But my kids have also learned from the misadventures of children like yours. They've known girls who got pregnant, they've known kids who died in auto accidents, they've known kids who are trashed on drugs and booze, and they've learned that it isn't a load of BS when they're told these things are bad. And while your daughter's death is tragic, it is my hope that many other parents hear what happened to her and take a few extra minutes to double-check where their kids are, to not just dismiss as teenage antics things like smelling booze on their kids, and to keep in mind that their kid in a car is no different than they were on that tricycle and remember that just because some salesman or TV commercial proclaims that a car is "safe" doesn't mean that the basic laws of physics have been changed.

 

[Midnightrider]

Terry-I am sorry you lost your daughter at such a young age.

The problem with many people on this board is once their opinion is formed no one is going to change it. EVEN if they are being opinionated @ssholes.

Please don't let their unsympathetic comments make things tougher for you then they already are. They're just not worth the effort.

God bless you and yours.

Right there with ya Suz
A lot of people spout off here a bunch of things they would never say if they were in the same room with you, evenone here has made mistakes, especially as teenagers.
I can relate as i lost a family member who was way too young,
I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[sugarmama]

Right there with ya Suz
A lot of people spout off here a bunch of things they would never say if they were in the same room with you, evenone here has made mistakes, especially as teenagers.
I can relate as i lost a family member who was way too young,
I'm sorry for your loss.

The difference is that what was done to your family member was not her fault.

I also sympathize with this girl's family; however, she was knowingly speeding, maybe drinking, and she had control of her actions.

 

[Midnightrider]

like i said, we have all made mistakes, especially when we were young, unfortuneatly theis one mistake took her life. so she doesn't get a chance to learn from it, most of us were luckier than that.

and thanks

 

[snfr02chic]

Bruzilla~~~..Research has been done to prove that this car is one of the safest cars on the market right now. I understand what you are saying about the heavier cars etc but honestly...are we supposed to go to junk yards and get our kids cars now? How many car dealers do you actually see selling cars that were made in the early 90's much less any in the 80's or God forbid the 70's. It is not my aunt's fault because this car wasn't as safe as the research proved for it to be, and I pray to God that that is the only referrence you are using when putting the blame on her. I think it has already been established that as teens, we aren't always where we say we are! How can you punish a child for being somewhere when you didn't even know they were there? Newsflash: kids lie, kids sneak...anything to have fun and seem cool to their friends.

As far as the parents being charged with the underage drinking...if the parents supply the alcohol and get caught then by all means charge their butts, but in such a case as this...I don't think my aunt should be charged b/c she wasn't the one that supplied it. I'm not sure if the clipping was saying that or not, but I'm just referring to it...and 1 more comment on that....how else would a kid get beer if not from an adult? You can't get it from another kid...some way shape or form it's always from an adult...lol...sorry thought that line was pretty funny.

 

[happy2bmom]

Right. So someone gets all drunked up and jumps in their car and kills themselves or someone else - just an accident. Couldn't have been prevented. Nothing she could have done differently to change the outcome.

Well, let me tell you something: one of our forum members had her step-daughter killed by a drunk driver. Why don't you tell HER that it was "just an accident"? I'm sure she feels REAL sorry for the family of the guy that murdered her step-daughter because he just HAD to have all that booze and then drive his stupid self home.

I'm done with this topic. Ya'll sob on each others shoulders and curse the mean people who DIDN'T drive drunk and kill someone.

I guess accident was not the right word -- you are right it did not need to happen. I am in no way saying drinking and driving is right. The judgement Amber showed that night was bad, however, isn't that what teens are known to have. She made a mistake.

I also lost loved ones to drunk driving. My husband and son were killed. However, blaming the family of the driver is just stupid. They were killed by a 40 year old man that should have had the maturity and willpower that Amber was not old enough to have yet.

 

[happy2bmom]

Sorry to say this, but it wasn't just your daughter that was acting irresponsible, you were as well. While I do feel sorry for your loss, I've also been in the law enforcement arena long enough to have seen many boys and girls just like yours end up the same way that yours did. And in most of those cases the causes are the same, and the reaction of parents is the same. You are personalizing this case, as you have every right to. I am generalizing this case, but as a means to convey a message to other parents, not to be mean or uncaring to you or your family.

The car that you allowed your daughter to get is not safe for a child her age. Maybe for you, but not for a rookie driver. My daughter is 19, and I helped her buy her first car... a Mercury Sable station wagon. It's big, heavy, under-powered, and can take a serious hit before conveying force to the occupants. Of course she wanted a small, sexy, sporty car, but it fell upon me as her parent to tell her that I would not help her out with that purchase. If she wanted a car, she was going to get a safe one. I also helped my oldest son, who also wanted a nice, fast, little car to cruise in. He's driving a 1973 Plymouth Satellite with a small V-8... again, underpowered, overweight, and lots of crumple space.

I'm always amazed at parents who will support their kids getting these lightweight, small, cars to start out in. Sure they look nice, but as you point out... an airbag is worthless if it doesn't deploy, and it will only deploy under specific circumstances. Crumple zones and heavy steel construction are working 24/7. Parents don't start their kids riding a bike on a 10-speed racer, they start them on a tricycle. So why do some feel it's okay to start them driving any differently?

Also, my wife and I have kept very close track of our kids as they've grown up. We've constantly instilled an appreciation for following rules, and punishment for violations. Like other parents we talked to our kids about the dangers of alcohol, but unlike other parents we also talked to our kids about the dangers of needing to fit in, or do things they know they shouldn't to impress other people. The best anti-drinking message in the World is worthless when contrasted with a need to impress others.

So, is my comment that your daughter's death was a matter of speed+alcohol+weariness+inexperience heartless, or am I just speaking the plain truth? You can call me uncaring, unfeeling, heartless, and many other names... believe me my kids have called me all of those at one point or another over the years. But my kids have also learned from the misadventures of children like yours. They've known girls who got pregnant, they've known kids who died in auto accidents, they've known kids who are trashed on drugs and booze, and they've learned that it isn't a load of BS when they're told these things are bad. And while your daughter's death is tragic, it is my hope that many other parents hear what happened to her and take a few extra minutes to double-check where their kids are, to not just dismiss as teenage antics things like smelling booze on their kids, and to keep in mind that their kid in a car is no different than they were on that tricycle and remember that just because some salesman or TV commercial proclaims that a car is "safe" doesn't mean that the basic laws of physics have been changed.

You should get your story right before saying such things. Amber's parents thought they knew where she was. They did all the right things, they asked where she was going, they called the parents of the girl she was supposed to be staying with to verify that is where she was. Kids find a way to do most things that they want to, know matter how hard you try to keep them safe.

 

[BuddyLee]

You should get your story right before saying such things. Amber's parents thought they knew where she was. They did all the right things, they asked where she was going, they called the parents of the girl she was supposed to be staying with to verify that is where she was. Kids find a way to do most things that they want to, know matter how hard you try to keep them safe.

I certainly don't mean to drag this on or to hurt the parents of the victim but for the sake of getting some word out to other parents I will go on. It seems as if Amber made a mistake and that's fine, we all make mistakes. However, Amber not only made a mistake, she made a mistake on top of that one and then another mistake on top of that one. She lied to her parents--mistake, she was out past her curfew--mistake and against the law, she was driving drunk--mistake and against the law, and she was driving without a seat belt--mistake and against the law. Again, I don't mean to harp on the parents on this matter, hopefully others will take notice that they need to drill certain ideas of responsibility into their childrens head. So that, drunk or not, it will be second nature to not make THIS MANY MISTAKES. Simply subtract one of these mistakes and Amber may still be alive today.