What do you do if.....

R

retiredweaxman

Guest
Mabus said:
....you find something in your SO's nightstand drawer that you don't think was previously there? Some sort of lickable massage cream?

SO insists that there is no one else but is becoming more distant and unappreciative.....thoughts?
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Dude, you have some serious issues - WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP!!!

There are some things I would never go through of my wife's like her purse, nightstand, undie drawer, etc. These are her PERSONAL belongings and I respect her privacy.

For you to go through her items tells me there is a serious lack of trust issue here. For you to think, "it was not previously there" tells me you have done this more than once.

You obviously do not trust her and you do not (or can not) respect her privacy. Regardless of what you found, I think you need to sit down and examine your relationship.

If you cannot trust her - then you need to cut your losses and move on regardless if she is seeing someone on the side or not. Trust is the basis of all relationships - if you don't trust her, what kind of relationship do you have?
 
ArkRescue

ArkRescue

Adopt me please !
When I saw this thread I just KNEW it wasn't going to go well for the OP.

Maybe she put it there to see if he was snooping?

Maybe she had plans to use it on him one day?

Has it been USED yet? That could say volumes - like if it's only half full - hmmmm :eyebrow:
 
pixiegirl

pixiegirl

Cleopatra Jones
Maybe she was waiting for the right time to use it on him and by being nosey and calling her out on having it he just sucked all the romance out of it. :coffee:
 
lovinmaryland

lovinmaryland

Well-Known Member
retiredweaxman said:
Dude, you have some serious issues - WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP!!!

There are some things I would never go through of my wife's like her purse, nightstand, undie drawer, etc. These are her PERSONAL belongings and I respect her privacy.

For you to go through her items tells me there is a serious lack of trust issue here. For you to think, "it was not previously there" tells me you have done this more than once.

You obviously do not trust her and you do not (or can not) respect her privacy. Regardless of what you found, I think you need to sit down and examine your relationship.

If you cannot trust her - then you need to cut your losses and move on regardless if she is seeing someone on the side or not. Trust is the basis of all relationships - if you don't trust her, what kind of relationship do you have?
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What if he was looking for the remote or batteries or something and stumbled upon it accidentally?
 
M

Mabus

Free Rent
I haven't said anything. And with the drawer being half open, it sort of stuck out.

I do have trust issues from past relationships. Those are extremely difficult to overcome. I'm doing the best I can to give her the credit she deserves. I really think that she's a great catch with a ton of potential.
 
pixiegirl

pixiegirl

Cleopatra Jones
Mabus said:
I haven't said anything. And with the drawer being half open, it sort of stuck out.

I do have trust issues from past relationships. Those are extremely difficult to overcome. I'm doing the best I can to give her the credit she deserves. I really think that she's a great catch with a ton of potential.
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Why?
 
B

betty99

New Member
Mabus said:
I haven't said anything. And with the drawer being half open, it sort of stuck out.

I do have trust issues from past relationships. Those are extremely difficult to overcome. I'm doing the best I can to give her the credit she deserves. I really think that she's a great catch with a ton of potential.
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:twitch:
 
PrepH4U

PrepH4U

New Member
Mabus said:
I haven't said anything. And with the drawer being half open, it sort of stuck out.

I do have trust issues from past relationships. Those are extremely difficult to overcome. I'm doing the best I can to give her the credit she deserves. I really think that she's a great catch with a ton of potential.
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So when would she qualify for advancement? :shrug:
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
Why do you all think it's bad for a SO - *significant* other - to go through drawers, purses, wallets, etc? I mean, if it was just a casual beau, or even someone you'd just started dating, yeah, you don't snoop through their crap. But SO indicates that they've been together for awhile, are monogamous and have a serious relationship with a future, so there should be no off-limits and no secrets. Right?
 
M

Mabus

Free Rent
pixiegirl said:
Why?
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Maybe I'm sort of a typical guy....tougher outer shell but truly soft. I just don't show it, I don't talk about it.... I have caught girls going behind my back several times and I know that not all women are like that. And when I continuously catch those that I care about going behind my back time and time again, it truly wears down on your mental sanity. When you finally do get with someone that isn't a liar or cheater, your distorted perception of reality defeats that relationship. That's not in the position I want to be. I truly want this whole issue of finding this massage cream to be small and insignificant, but I don't want to be blind to something that could possibly be going on behind my back. And I don't want to blow things out of proportion.
 
kwillia

kwillia

n/a
vraiblonde said:
Why do you all think it's bad for a SO - *significant* other - to go through drawers, purses, wallets, etc? I mean, if it was just a casual beau, or even someone you'd just started dating, yeah, you don't snoop through their crap. But SO indicates that they've been together for awhile, are monogamous and have a serious relationship with a future, so there should be no off-limits and no secrets. Right?
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Some casual acquaintances snoop... remember when Pete went through RR's pantie drawer...:ohwell:
 
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