What do you want out of marriage?

[MysticalMom]

The King and I have been happily unmarried for years. And plan to stay that way forever. We know where we want to be for the rest of our lives and what we have works for us.

Besides. I've been saying no for so many years he'd have a massive coronary and die if I said yes. And what good is he to me dead?

In the words of the immortal Gene Simmons:

"Marriage is an institution and you have to be commited to it. If that doesn't sound like a nut house I don't know what does."

 

[Geek]

I'm wondering what you all expected when you got married, or are hoping to get out of it when you do.

I expected 1. to be able to talk to my spouse, 2. to have them talk to me, 3. to have them want to spend time with me, 4. to have them want to be married to me, and 5. to have sex.

Are any of those things unrealistic? Am I asking for too much? Should I settle for say 3 out of 5? Or would that be just that...settling. I'm curious to hear your thoughts.

Thanks!

I see a lot of the word "me". You wanted to get something out of marriage, what did you expect to give :shrug:

 

[Chain729]

I'm wondering what you all expected when you got married, or are hoping to get out of it when you do.

I expected 1. to be able to talk to my spouse, 2. to have them talk to me, 3. to have them want to spend time with me, 4. to have them want to be married to me, and 5. to have sex.

Are any of those things unrealistic? Am I asking for too much? Should I settle for say 3 out of 5? Or would that be just that...settling. I'm curious to hear your thoughts.

Thanks!

1. Maid
2. Cook
3. W****
4. Not getting jealous if I aquire additional 1, 2 & especially 3.

Seriously? It's up to you whether or not you're getting enough of what you want/need. Have you asked for more of whichever two you aren't getting and why you aren't getting them? I mean ask as in directly; not hinting, not nagging, not screaming. Just asking in a calm, non-offensive or defensive, blunt manner.

Here's the long, sappy way of stating it

As for I want, I'll keep that to myself for now.

 

[aps45819]

me.

 

[Pandora]

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"
The girl said, "NO!" And she lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, had many boyfriends, didn't save money, and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theater, never watched sports, never wore fricken lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants, and burped, and swore, all the time.



The end.

 

[aps45819]

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"
The girl said, "NO!" And she wound up getting a citation for having 75 cats in a one bedroom apartment
The end.

:fixed:

 

[Lugnut]

:fixed:

I just laughed so hard I broke something.

 

[vraiblonde]

Careful, the bitter is showing!

I had a fiancee who actually had the nerve to say to me, "But we're getting married! I shouldn't have to keep doing all that stuff!"

Needless to say, I ended up not marrying him.

 

[vraiblonde]

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"
The girl said, "NO!" And she lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, had many boyfriends, didn't save money, and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theater, never watched sports, never wore fricken lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants, and burped, and swore, all the time.



The end.

 

[BS Gal]

The King and I have been happily unmarried for years. And plan to stay that way forever. We know where we want to be for the rest of our lives and what we have works for us.

Besides. I've been saying no for so many years he'd have a massive coronary and die if I said yes. And what good is he to me dead?

In the words of the immortal Gene Simmons:

"Marriage is an institution and you have to be commited to it. If that doesn't sound like a nut house I don't know what does."

I read "Richard Simmons" and had to go back and re-read it. I'm really tired. This entire geek thing is stressing me out. PMS.

 

[smoothmarine187]

W ash
I ron
F **k
E tc.

 

[BS Gal]

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"
The girl said, "NO!" And she lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, had many boyfriends, didn't save money, and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theater, never watched sports, never wore fricken lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants, and burped, and swore, all the time.



The end.

 

[BS Gal]

W ash
I ron
F **k
E tc.

She wouldn't have to work outside the home?

 

[vraiblonde]

She wouldn't have to work outside the home?

That's probably the "Etc" part.

 

[BS Gal]

That's probably the "Etc" part.

I think the question should be: What did you want out of a marriage when you first got married and what do you want now that you've been married (insert #) years.

 

[Shreddie]

Shreddie, before I answer, how old are you?

Mid forties

 

[Shreddie]

I see a lot of the word "me". You wanted to get something out of marriage, what did you expect to give :shrug:

I expect to give the same, and have been to the best of my ability. I want to spend time with my spouse, without feeling like I'm cramping their style. I want them to spend time with me because they WANT to, not because they feel obligated in some way. And I have expressed these desires in a rational, non-hysterical way as was suggested. The question is - am I asking too much? :shrug:

 

[BS Gal]

I expect to give the same, and have been to the best of my ability. I want to spend time with my spouse, without feeling like I'm cramping their style. I want them to spend time with me because they WANT to, not because they feel obligated in some way. And I have expressed these desires in a rational, non-hysterical way as was suggested. The question is - am I asking too much? :shrug:

You two should do something together that you are both interested in. I KNOW everyone is tired of hearing about my motorcycle riding (accidents), but hubby rides, so I do too now. It's a way of spending time together where we aren't in each other's faces and are enjoying the same thing. Find a common interest and pursue it. Doesn't have to be riding, but something you can do together that you will both enjoy. You may need to adjust your thinking and do something he likes instead of vice versa. My husband likes wood work. Do I have the talent for that? No. But I can be in the garage doing stained glass while he's doing his wood work. We're together, but not in each other's faces. Get my drift?

 

[Daffy]

I think the question should be: What did you want out of a marriage when you first got married and what do you want now that you've been married (insert #) years.

Can it not be the same thing? Do you have to give up on those things just because x years and life have gotten in the way? Is it impossible to enjoy each other's company like you did in the beginning just because you have jobs, kids, etc.? Are there no happily married people out there?

Perhaps Vrai can pass along the name of a good marriage counselor.

 

[BS Gal]

Can it not be the same thing? Do you have to give up on those things just because x years and life have gotten in the way? Is it impossible to enjoy each other's company like you did in the beginning just because you have jobs, kids, etc.? Are there no happily married people out there?

Perhaps Vrai can pass along the name of a good marriage counselor.

We've been married for 25 years. We're best friends. Relationships change. We enjoy each other's company, do things together, but it's not that I NEED TO BE WITH YOU EVERY SECOND YOU HAVE FREE thing anymore. We are very happily married.