When is Enough...enough?

[Sharon]

Ah ha!

The latter....It was like you were there!!!!!

You just want him to go and be miserable.

 

[jetmonkey]

Is your daughter boring?

 

[vraiblonde]

You just want him to go and be miserable.

I think if it's his kid's performance or game or whatever, he should go regardless of whether he thinks he'll "enjoy" it or not.

I guess it depends on how old the kid is, too. Once they get into high school, you can skip them. But elementary and middle, parents should be at the events so they can say, "I saw you! You were wonderful!"

 

[WifeandMother]

Sharon

Yes...you are so correct...this is why I am posting on the forum...because I just want him to look bad. Are you kidding?

Party this weekend...his family friend (not really a kid friendly atmosphere) I'm expected to go! Fireworks...he's only going because his friend asked us to go.
Performance...no, not really his cup of tea...but his daughter should be no matter what it is! No...he does not go to alot of other things she does. She's tired of asking because he never says yes. (Maybe not never) 95% of the time...he does not go. The other 5% is only because I've said something to his Mom and she has talked to him.

This is not the first time nor the last time that he will be selfish. Not really name calling...just the facts

 

[Sharon]

I think if it's his kid's performance or game or whatever, he should go regardless of whether he thinks he'll "enjoy" it or not.

I disagree. It doesn't mean he loves his child any less if he doesn't go to every activity. My sis has four kids (most are grown now). They had activities every night of the week and sometimes she juggled between two kids at a time to get them where they were supposed to be on the same night.

 

[vraiblonde]

because I just want him to look bad.

Well, it's working.

Tell him that if you have to sit through a kindergarten ballet recital, so should he and he can get off his dead ass

 

[Sharon]

Yes...you are so correct...this is why I am posting on the forum...because I just want him to look bad. Are you kidding?

Party this weekend...his family friend (not really a kid friendly atmosphere) I'm expected to go! Fireworks...he's only going because his friend asked us to go.
Performance...no, not really his cup of tea...but his daughter should be no matter what it is! No...he does not go to alot of other things she does. She's tired of asking because he never says yes. (Maybe not never) 95% of the time...he does not go. The other 5% is only because I've said something to his Mom and she has talked to him.

This is not the first time nor the last time that he will be selfish. Not really name calling...just the facts

Would you be happier divorced and he just sent a check every month? For some men that's a lot easier than putting up with their wife's ####. How would your daughter feel about that?

 

[Larry Gude]

'Men'...

Tell me, Larry...Why do men have to be told what to do regarding their children? You make it sound like men are too stupid to figure it out for themselves.

...do not need to be told. 'Males' do. All we're talking about in this thread is one guy. I mean no indictment at all to us guys as a whole and there are plenty of men who simply can't make it very often to things because of work.

I wish I was more mature at an earlier age once I started having kids, but no one had to get me to go to my kids events, from school to dance to trips to the playground.

 

[vraiblonde]

My sis has four kids (most are grown now). They had activities every night of the week and sometimes she juggled between two kids at a time to get them where they were supposed to be on the same night.

Yabbut that's more of a logistical thing, not a, "Mmmm, no...I don't think I would really enjoy seeing you in your play," thing.

Yeesh, how many things do we do for our kids that aren't really all that much fun? But you do it anyway because it's part of the deal. But I still say that, rather than nag him to attend, she should just go on her own and stop worrying about it. There are worse things he could do.

 

[MMDad]

Even though it might not be his cup of tea I doubt he would turn down his daughter's request if she was sincere and really wanted him there, while you kept your mouth shut about it. Your method puts him on the defensive.

Most of the things parents attend, like school concerts, do suck. I attend because it means so much to my daughter. Sitting in small chairs in a crowded auditorium surrounded by rude people who yammer throughout the performance is not enjoyable. Watching the look of joy on my daughters face when she spots me in the audience makes up for every bit of it.

If my wife were to nag me, it would make me want to attend that much less. I'd still do it for my daughter, but the nagging doesn't help.

 

[ocean733]

The unsigned/unfinished karma was from me.

 

[RoseRed]

The other 5% is only because I've said something to his Mom and she has talked to him.

You talked to his mother about it? :tattletale:

 

[Sharon]

Most of the things parents attend, like school concerts, do suck. I attend because it means so much to my daughter. Sitting in small chairs in a crowded auditorium surrounded by rude people who yammer throughout the performance is not enjoyable. Watching the look of joy on my daughters face when she spots me in the audience makes up for every bit of it.

Yes, it does. I remember the days well.

If my wife were to nag me, it would make me want to attend that much less. I'd still do it for my daughter, but the nagging doesn't help.

Good on ya.

I think her hubby should read this thread. It might be an eye-opener for him. Nagging doesn't seem to be working.

And then again...maybe he is selfish and still won't go.

 

[vraiblonde]

You talked to his mother about it? :tattletale:

I'll tell you what, if I asked my husband to do something and he refused, then did it when his mother asked him - now it's on!

 

[Larry Gude]

Rightly so...

I'll tell you what, if I asked my husband to do something and he refused, then did it when his mother asked him - now it's on!

...and you know what I mean.

 

[RoseRed]

I'll tell you what, if I asked my husband to do something and he refused, then did it when his mother asked him - now it's on!

I hear that!

 

[rack'm]

The other 5% is only because I've said something to his Mom and she has talked to him.

Momma's boy needs to go home then!

 

[SamSpade]

...and you know what I mean.

Ha! I was talking to my mom on the phone this past weekend, and we were discussing my sister and brother in law - who aren't divorced but have lived apart for the past *17* years. We keep hoping they'll fix their marriage. The most telling problem is that my BIL never puts his wife first - not ahead of sister, friends or anyone. They're good friends, but he'll do what his siblings want ahead of his wife.

I told my ma "Hate to tell you ma, but my wife come before everyone, including you" and she said "dont' apologize .. you damned well better put her ahead of me and everyone else".

 

[sanchezf]

Divorced from other people; married to each other.

Got it..

Thank you

 

[Larry Gude]

Yeah...

Ha! I was talking to my mom on the phone this past weekend, and we were discussing my sister and brother in law - who aren't divorced but have lived apart for the past *17* years. We keep hoping they'll fix their marriage. The most telling problem is that my BIL never puts his wife first - not ahead of sister, friends or anyone. They're good friends, but he'll do what his siblings want ahead of his wife.

I told my ma "Hate to tell you ma, but my wife come before everyone, including you" and she said "dont' apologize .. you damned well better put her ahead of me and everyone else".

...I've hurt Vrail, not always putting her first. So, good on you, man.