Who gets the final say?
- Thread starter Club'nBabySeals
- Start date
I don't remember how it evolved that I'd tuck them in instead of rocking them to sleep. Seems like it just kind of happened - they were probably in the 8 months vicinity.kwillia said:
Shoot, I'd rock my kids now except they're bigger than me.
Chasey_Lane
Salt Life
kwillia said:
That can be a very difficult habit to break. Besides, It's not healthy for the parents or the child. Everyone needs their separate space...in their own bed.
Club'n, how does Dad feel about the co-sleeping arrangement? Because maybe that's the problem - he wants alone time with you at night.Club'nBabySeals said:
And how does that work, anyway? Do you all go to bed at the same time or do you put the baby to sleep, then go to bed later? And doesn't it wake the baby up when you all go to bed? <--serious question - I always wondered how parents managed to co-sleep with their babies.
pixiegirl
Cleopatra Jones
vraiblonde said:I don't remember how it evolved that I'd tuck them in instead of rocking them to sleep. Seems like it just kind of happened - they were probably in the 8 months vicinity.
Shoot, I'd rock my kids now except they're bigger than me.
It's quite a sight to see me cradling big kid in the rocking chair and he's not that big yet!
kwillia
n/a
Because she felt the need to start this thread and seek advice, that was a clear indication to me that this tiff between the two of them goes well beyond the normal rocking, snuggling and cuddling. I read between the lines that her manner of dealing with the babe at sleep time is actually disruptive and not condusive of a good night sleep for all three. I know this for sure now that she's admitted the baby co-sleeps in their bed.vraiblonde said:I don't remember how it evolved that I'd tuck them in instead of rocking them to sleep. Seems like it just kind of happened - they were probably in the 8 months vicinity.
Shoot, I'd rock my kids now except they're bigger than me.
amethyst_babes
New Member
Chasey_Lane said:
That can be a very difficult habit to break.
It can be, but it doesn't have to be.
Why?
Club'nBabySeals said:
Mom wins.
Club'nBabySeals
Where are my pants?
vraiblonde said:
Dad and Mom agreed to co-sleep as long as baby is breastfeeding (max. 1 year). Neither party has a problem with this arrangement.
Dad is not getting "alone time" with Mom until he gets his ass to the Doctor and has a vasectomy. Baby co-sleeping is unrelated.
Baby goes down to sleep at 8pm. Mom and Dad go to sleep around 10 or 11. Baby does not wake up when Mom and Dad crawl into bed. Bed is California King and comfortably accomodates 2.5 occupants.
Chasey_Lane
Salt Life
What are you showing the child? When do mom and dad have theirr own time? Children need their own space, including a bed they sleep in. My SIL has a hard time getting her son to sleep elsewhere because he doesn't want to be alone. I think that is a common issue with parents who allow their child(ren) to sleep in bed with them. I just don't think it is fair to anyone, including the baby.amethyst_babes said:
Chasey_Lane
Salt Life
Poor guy!Club'nBabySeals said:
cattitude
My Sweetest Boy
Club'nBabySeals said:
Eww..you'd have sex with the baby in the bed?
By the time the baby is a year old, and the breastfeeding stops, what is your plan to explain to junior that he is now going to sleep in his own bed? And how are you going to explain to him that YOUR bed is not HIS bed...which is the only bed he's known.
D
dems4me
Guest
kwillia said:The picture you paint leaves no room for a problem. The fact that you and husband are at an impasse says there is more to this picture. What's missing...
I was thinking Dad was getting jealous of no cuddling from his wife and possibly jealous that the baby is getting too much nurturing from Mom when he feels Mom should also nurture him some ... and then I read he's not being "intimate" with his wife in bed until Vasectomy. I think Dad is feeling the brush off. :shrug:
pixiegirl
Cleopatra Jones
Chasey_Lane said:
Your opinion doesn't make it unhealthy. I've done tons of reading on this. I never "allowed" oldest to co-sleep but his bio dad and grandma did. Of course when he came home from his weekends with them getting him to sleep in his own bed was a nightmare. He'd often lay in bed awake until I went to bed and then come get in bed with me. I never encouraged it and had a horrid time breaking him of it BUT after all the research I did there is absolutely NOTHING that proves that it has a negative impact on the child at all. That being said, it had nothing to do with my choice to fight it; I wanted my own damn bed and that was that!
Club'nBabySeals
Where are my pants?
kwillia said:The picture you paint leaves no room for a problem. The fact that you and husband are at an impasse says there is more to this picture. What's missing...
Bedtime is not as major a problem as naptime. Mom is almost always there to put baby down for bed....occasionally (this is where the "25%" comes in), Dad has to watch Baby during the day and put her down for a nap. Dad becomes frustrated when Baby does not fall asleep on command and sets Baby down to cry herself to sleep. It has little to do with co-sleeping or where the baby sleeps.
Re-read the previous post. There is no sex being had for a reason unrelated to baby's sleeping habits.
I'd think you'd make it exciting - Look! A new bed just for you!!cattitude said:
You figure they're going to go from a crib to a real bed at some point, so what's the difference?
Not that I'm a huge fan of co-sleeping - I always looked forward to passing out in my own space with no snorting wuffling baby around. But that's a personal preference.
workin hard
Icebox
Club'nBabySeals said:
I have a 6 month old and at his bedtime I will put him in his bed while he is drowsy so he learns how to fall asleep by himself. But at the same time if he is fussy or cranky, he gets rocked or even if I just feel like it, I'll rock him.
I could go both ways on this issue, but I just don't want him dependant on me rocking him every night to sleep.
Cowgirl
Well-Known Member
There's nothing "unhealthy" about co-sleeping unless the child or the parents don't like it. If the parents are happy with the agreement, then what's the problem? The child will eventually move to their own bed, so it's not like there will be a 15 year old sleeping with the parents.
I love it how people call things dumb when they don't agree with it.
I love it how people call things dumb when they don't agree with it.