Who gets the final say?
- Thread starter Club'nBabySeals
- Start date
cattitude
My Sweetest Boy
Cowgirl said:There's nothing "unhealthy" about co-sleeping unless the child or the parents don't like it. If the parents are happy with the agreement, then what's the problem? The child will eventually move to their own bed, so it's not like there will be a 15 year old sleeping with the parents.
I love it how people call things dumb when they don't agree with it.
It just creates a problem getting them to move to their own bed.
How old are your children again?
Cowgirl
Well-Known Member
cattitude said:
They are 23 months and 4 years. We don't co-sleep. Personally, I would like to have alone time w/ my bf/hubby, plus, it's hard enough for me to get enough room in the bed with my bf the bed hog.
But I know of lots of people who co-sleep, and it works very well for their family. They say they don't have any problems getting their children to sleep in their own beds when it's time...they let the children choose when to move to their own bed.They also do "weird" things like extended BF. :shrug: To each their own. They would actually argue that it is BETTER for the child. Babies are not born being able to self-soothe, so they sleep better with mom and dad. They also say imagine how hard it is for the child to be kept away from the parents during the night.
nightowl
New Member
Club'nBabySeals said:
We always had our kids crib in our room. That way they were close but not to close. We would move them to their own room around 2 yrs old.
I know all parents feel differently about the co-sleeping issue so like someone else said "to each their own".
As for the problems your husband is having with trying to put your daughter down for naps I'm guessing he has breast milk available? I was thinking maybe you need to try to have him put her down when your home so you can give him some pointers. If he's just not willing to soothe her with rocking or pumped milk then I really don't have any suggestions other than you just doing naptimes and bedtimes if you don't want her to "cry it out".
I do have to tell you though the whole vasectomy issue needs to be the man's decision and trying to "force" him into it by withholding sex is only going to put a wedge (a wide one) between you. Why not just go buy a pack of condoms? They say when your having sex it's 10% of the marriage but when your not it's more like 90% (just my 10 cents).
kwillia
n/a
Yeah, that part had menightowl said:
too. In our case, when we got to the point where we agreed we weren't going to have any more children, I'm the one who opted to get my tubes tied. The way I saw it was that if something happened to our marriage or my husband croaked, I knew I didn't want to birth anymore babies even if I ended up with a new man. However, if something happened to me, I knew my husband would most likely still want the option to father more children if he ended up with another woman. Getting tubes tied is an outpatient surgery these days. Since you know you don't want to get pregnant ever again, have you considered getting tubal ligation...:shrug:Club'nBabySeals
Where are my pants?
nightowl said:
Dad has milk in bottles available for use. Mom offered to quit working and stay home with Baby, but Dad refuses to get second job in order to make up the lost income delta. As a result, Dad must be responsible for naptimes two days each week.
nightowl said:
Condoms do not work (as evidenced by current Baby).
Club'nBabySeals
Where are my pants?
kwillia said:
Doctors do not wish to perform tubal ligation because Mom is under 30 and only has one child. Mom asked...
kwillia
n/a
That is a typical response for them especially when they think your choice may be clouded by the extra stresses of dealing with an infant. I'd bring it up again if I were you. Pixie went through the same thing and was able to assure her doc it was what she really wanted.Club'nBabySeals said:
What?? She doesn't want to have kids with smoochy boy???kwillia said:
Club'nBabySeals
Where are my pants?
kwillia said:
Dad agrees that he only wants one child, and is on board with having a vasectomy. But he does not want to have it "yet".
Mom is fine with that and encourages Dad to wait until he is ready; but does not put enough trust in contraceptives to resume regular relations.
amethyst_babes
New Member
Cowgirl said:What about BC for mom?
Mom had the baby she shouldn't have to deal with birth control for the rest of her life.
There are 'other' ways to be intimate that eliminate the need for birth control, anyway.
barncat
New Member
Cowgirl said:They are 23 months and 4 years. We don't co-sleep. Personally, I would like to have alone time w/ my bf/hubby, plus, it's hard enough for me to get enough room in the bed with my bf the bed hog.
But I know of lots of people who co-sleep, and it works very well for their family. They say they don't have any problems getting their children to sleep in their own beds when it's time...they let the children choose when to move to their own bed.They also do "weird" things like extended BF. :shrug: To each their own. They would actually argue that it is BETTER for the child. Babies are not born being able to self-soothe, so they sleep better with mom and dad. They also say imagine how hard it is for the child to be kept away from the parents during the night.
BS that they don't have problems sleeping on their own. My 1 year old can put her self to sleep better then my friend's 4 year old that needed someone to lay in her bed with her till she fell asleep due to co-sleeping.
I don't believe a child will learn to self-soothe if they are never given the opportunity to learn by constantly having someone else do it for them. I don't leave my daughter hysterical, but a little crying never hurt anyone and even as an adult I have cried myself to sleep a few times and I'm no worse for it.
But it is an individual choice and to each their own. I just don't understand why people take such a detour to the end result....
Cowgirl
Well-Known Member
amethyst_babes said:Mom had the baby she shouldn't have to deal with birth control for the rest of her life.
There are 'other' ways to be intimate that eliminate the need for birth control, anyway.
That's pretty selfish of the mother. I could not go that long without sex, and I wouldn't expect him to either. BC is a temporary method to get them through until he is ready for the vasectomy.
Club'nBabySeals
Where are my pants?
kwillia said:As thrilled as your mom is to have this grandbaby, I'd swear she was the culprit who poked pin holes in your condom supply...
You could be onto something....she is a tricksy and deceptive woman, that one...
Cowgirl
Well-Known Member
barncat said:
Wow...you must know alot to be able to say they're wrong about their kids.
You don't know the only reason the 4 yr old won't go to sleep is because of co-sleeping. Maybe you have a better bedtime routine, maybe your house is quieter, maybe it's louder, maybe they wind up the 4 year old then expect it to go to sleep. Too many things there besides just the co-sleeping.
Like I said, to each their own. If it works for them, so be it. You can't speak for the thousands of parents who co-sleep. Obviously it's working for them.
Club'nBabySeals
Where are my pants?
Cowgirl said:What about BC for mom?
Mom is on BC. Mom was using BC when she became pregnant before. Mom does not trust BC.
Sex is not enjoyable (and is hardly worth the effort) when paranoid fear of impregnation soils the mood.
Mom and dad must be very fertile...