Wife getting fat.....help!!!

Misfit

Misfit

Lawful neutral
Wife getting fat.....help!!! - Topic

Interesting tread from another forum I stumbled upon....

I've been married for about 4.5 years now. Two kids later, my wife weighs more than me (185) and is probably 60+ lbs heavier than when we got married. It has really started to affect everything!! She just started snoring like crazy at night. I end up going to the basement so I can sleep, but she just ends up getting mad at me.

Her favorite passtime is watching t.v. and eating. At this point, it seems like there is no hope in sight. I've given up on wanting any sexual realationship with her because A) it was never good to begin with (she has major insecurity issues thanks to her mom) and B) it's just embarassing.

I've tried to get her out on hikes or walks, but it doesn't really work. We even spent $3000 on an eliptical for her which I use all the time, but she has only touched twice.

If there weren't two kids involved, I would leave her because her selfish behavior is compromising our current happiness and will surely result in major health problems in the furture. I'm embarassed to be seen with her. I don't like to even be around her because it feels so demoralizing.

I really need some help with this, if anyone has some advice. Right now, I'm just counting down to when the kids are 18 so that I can get a divorce. I didn't sign up to live with a slob when I got married. She always told me before we got married that she would never let herself go, but 4.5 years into it.....I'm really disappointed.
 
DaisyDuke

DaisyDuke

Member
Misfit said:
Wife getting fat.....help!!! - Topic

Interesting tread from another forum I stumbled upon....

I've been married for about 4.5 years now. Two kids later, my wife weighs more than me (185) and is probably 60+ lbs heavier than when we got married. It has really started to affect everything!! She just started snoring like crazy at night. I end up going to the basement so I can sleep, but she just ends up getting mad at me.

Her favorite passtime is watching t.v. and eating. At this point, it seems like there is no hope in sight. I've given up on wanting any sexual realationship with her because A) it was never good to begin with (she has major insecurity issues thanks to her mom) and B) it's just embarassing.

I've tried to get her out on hikes or walks, but it doesn't really work. We even spent $3000 on an eliptical for her which I use all the time, but she has only touched twice.

If there weren't two kids involved, I would leave her because her selfish behavior is compromising our current happiness and will surely result in major health problems in the furture. I'm embarassed to be seen with her. I don't like to even be around her because it feels so demoralizing.

I really need some help with this, if anyone has some advice. Right now, I'm just counting down to when the kids are 18 so that I can get a divorce. I didn't sign up to live with a slob when I got married. She always told me before we got married that she would never let herself go, but 4.5 years into it.....I'm really disappointed.
Click to expand...


And I'm sure this guy looks like George Clooney.
 
libertytyranny

libertytyranny

Dream Stealer
Ugh. He kinda sounds like a jerk, but I see where he's coming from :shrug: I hope he's at least told her he thinks her weight is unhealthy and lets her now how he feels...it probably won't go over well, but I would want my husband to tell me if didn't realize I was overweight, unhealthy, and it was affecting our marriage..

I mean, I expect people to gain a little weight and no one looks 20 forever..but really if my spouse put on a bunch of weight and was looking gross and unhealthy, I would talk to them about it. You're in it together and your health affects both of you, and the kids.
 
DaisyDuke

DaisyDuke

Member
libertytyranny said:
Ugh. He kinda sounds like a jerk, but I see where he's coming from :shrug: I hope he's at least told her he thinks her weight is unhealthy and lets her now how he feels...it probably won't go over well, but I would want my husband to tell me if didn't realize I was overweight, unhealthy, and it was affecting our marriage..

I mean, I expect people to gain a little weight and no one looks 20 forever..but really if my spouse put on a bunch of weight and was looking gross and unhealthy, I would talk to them about it. You're in it together and your health affects both of you, and the kids.
Click to expand...

I completely get that, but just some of the things he was saying. He came off as a pompous ass. She's probably eating because she's depressed she married such an a$$hole. :lol:
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
Dear Jerk,

She hates you and is using food to self-soothe. Do her a favor and leave her, then you can watch her transformation into a healthy happy woman, while your new chickie starts buying Ben and Jerry's by the truckload.

Love,
Vrai
 
Misfit

Misfit

Lawful neutral
vraiblonde said:
Dear Jerk,

She hates you and is using food to self-soothe. Do her a favor and leave her, then you can watch her transformation into a healthy happy woman, while your new chickie starts buying Ben and Jerry's by the truckload.

Love,
Vrai
Click to expand...

:killingme
 
libertytyranny

libertytyranny

Dream Stealer
DaisyDuke said:
I completely get that, but just some of the things he was saying. He came off as a pompous ass. She's probably eating because she's depressed she married such an a$$hole. :lol:
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:lmao: yeah..and two kids in 4 years in tough, I only have one little one and it is tough to find time for myself. but he does sound like a dbag. I'd love to see pics :jerry:
 
DaisyDuke

DaisyDuke

Member
The below response is one of the very few worthwhile comments from that thread.


"This is tricky, if it's only the weight I would suggest taking the excuses out of exercising. Make sure the house is picked up and the dishes are done then encourage her to start working out with you. I would start a few weeks before you even talk to her about exercising, play super dad giving her a little free time.
If she refuses tell her that you love her but you feel like she is letting herself go express that you love her but you feel like she doesn't care about your feelings.

Be careful though this is a minefield where you can make life miserable if you make a mistake.

Good luck."
 
lovinmaryland

lovinmaryland

Well-Known Member
libertytyranny said:
Ugh. He kinda sounds like a jerk, but I see where he's coming from :shrug: I hope he's at least told her he thinks her weight is unhealthy and lets her now how he feels...it probably won't go over well, but I would want my husband to tell me if didn't realize I was overweight, unhealthy, and it was affecting our marriage..

I mean, I expect people to gain a little weight and no one looks 20 forever..but really if my spouse put on a bunch of weight and was looking gross and unhealthy, I would talk to them about it. You're in it together and your health affects both of you, and the kids.
Click to expand...
Beleive me when you are overwight you know it. You dont need someone to tell you.

I've gained a TON of weight partly from getting pregnant, not being able to go to the gym, etc... never once has my hubby said a word about it.
vraiblonde said:
Dear Jerk,

She hates you and is using food to self-soothe. Do her a favor and leave her, then you can watch her transformation into a healthy happy woman, while your new chickie starts buying Ben and Jerry's by the truckload.

Love,
Vrai
Click to expand...

:yeahthat:

This exact scenario happened w/ my aunt. She used to be a size 24 when her hubby left her. About a year later she was a size 6 :lol:
 
libertytyranny

libertytyranny

Dream Stealer
lovinmaryland said:
Beleive me when you are overwight you know it. You dont need someone to tell you.

I've gained a TON of weight partly from getting pregnant, not being able to go to the gym, etc... never once has my hubby said a word about it.


:yeahthat:

This exact scenario happened w/ my aunt. She used to be a size 24 when her hubby left her. About a year later she was a size 6 :lol:
Click to expand...



I would rather my husband SAY something if it were bothering him, than not say anything and cheat on me or leave me out of the blue because he was unhappy :shrug: That way at least i have a chance to say "you know what, youre right and I am going to be healthier" or "**** off, I am going to eat this bacon covered icecream and you can get to steppin'" Now, I gained a ton of weight when I was pregnant, and am just now 9 months later back to my prepregnancy weight, and I have talked with SO on a few occasions..it didn't seem to bother him a bit. But if it did, I would certainly want to know...only NOT when I am actually pregnant, because then I would have murdered him and hid his body in the basement :coffee:
 
BadGirl

BadGirl

I am so very blessed
What are the stats for those reading this thread?

What was your weight before marriage, and what is your weight after marriage?
 
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