A Little Tale About My X & His Wife!

[aps45819]

Oh MY - never done THAT before to anyone LOL

Might as well.
His rambling, incoherent posts are written in impossible to read text-bonics, usually have very little to do with the subject and all will mention how he's a wonderful person

 

[ArkRescue]

Usually people who toot their own horn regularly are quite the opposite IMHO

Might as well.
His rambling, incoherent posts are written in impossible to read text-bonics, usually have very little to do with the subject and all will mention how he's a wonderful person

 

[fireflies]

This is a VERY interesting thread. You are headed in the right direction. Making that first move to untangle yourself permanently from your lifestyle was the first of a series of hard steps you will have to take. I know. I am going through this, too.... slightly different case of course, but some things are similar.
You have been with him for a long time. Can I give you one piece of advice before you start dating? Avoid any guy who blurts out EARLY on that he tested negative on his last visit to the county's public health department? LOL.
Seriously, stay away from that. haha

 

[ArkRescue]

Oh my - when do we ever REALLY believe what anyone says anymore when we don't KNOW the person? Life sure is teaching us to be more skeptical even if we ARE the type to believe until we have a reason not to.

The OP sounded like she's much happier now. It's interesting how we sometimes allow ourselves to get tangled up in a mess that we really never would WANT to be in. Can sort of happen a little at a time, and then wham, one day you look around and think - how did I end up in this mess?

This is a VERY interesting thread. You are headed in the right direction. Making that first move to untangle yourself permanently from your lifestyle was the first of a series of hard steps you will have to take. I know. I am going through this, too.... slightly different case of course, but some things are similar.
You have been with him for a long time. Can I give you one piece of advice before you start dating? Avoid any guy who blurts out EARLY on that he tested negative on his last visit to the county's public health department? LOL.
Seriously, stay away from that. haha

 

[Gemmi]

I know exactly how the OP could stay in a 14 year relationship even though it was not good. I have been through two previous marriages. The first ended because of alcohol and physical abuse. My second marriage was better but eventually ended because of alcohol and drug abuse. My first marriage lasted eight years and the second relationship lasted fifteen years. I got married again two months ago to the most wonderful man. We were together over two years before we married. I am finally really happy and thank God for giving me such a good man. As they say, the third time is a charm! Remember, there are still good men out there. Good luck and best wishes for your future.

 

[aps45819]

there are still good men out there.

 

[Gemmi]

 

[ArkRescue]

Would that be YOU?

 

[EmptyTimCup]

For once I agree with you. I have moved more great sweet women away from complete #######s in the past year or know great women being with control freak ####tards that are now making the move like you. Make no sense to me how jackasses get great women to beat down and control

 

[Traffic]

Cheers To The New Start!!

This is a VERY interesting thread. You are headed in the right direction. Making that first move to untangle yourself permanently from your lifestyle was the first of a series of hard steps you will have to take. I know. I am going through this, too.... slightly different case of course, but some things are similar.
You have been with him for a long time. Can I give you one piece of advice before you start dating? Avoid any guy who blurts out EARLY on that he tested negative on his last visit to the county's public health department? LOL.
Seriously, stay away from that. haha

THANKS FOR THE ADVICE!!!!! Cheers to you on the new start!!! I'm doing okay!!!

 

[Traffic]

Fantastic!!!

I know exactly how the OP could stay in a 14 year relationship even though it was not good. I have been through two previous marriages. The first ended because of alcohol and physical abuse. My second marriage was better but eventually ended because of alcohol and drug abuse. My first marriage lasted eight years and the second relationship lasted fifteen years. I got married again two months ago to the most wonderful man. We were together over two years before we married. I am finally really happy and thank God for giving me such a good man. As they say, the third time is a charm! Remember, there are still good men out there. Good luck and best wishes for your future.

NOW??? DOES HE HAVE A BROTHER? OR, at this point a sister?(no! only kidding)
I know it sounds stupid, but the time just goes by and you don't know how it slipped away. Whether you were busy, confused, manipulated, etc. I can't figure out how i stayed that long!!! I know one thing, i'm not going to beat myself up about it!!!

 

[Traffic]

Update, Update, Update....

GET READY FOR A SHORT STORY...

SEE LIES or SEA THE LIES
by....Wanting Something in a Person that Wasn't there
alias....Blonde

I lived with a guy for 14 yrs. We owned a house & eventually a business together. He told me he was divorced. I eventually found out he wasn't. (I was married twice before and so was he-so that's why i went for the living together thing) He still had contact with his X(or so as he called her) They didn't have children, but he said he was in contact with her because he raised her child which he called his stepdaughter.(okay understandable) The stepdaughter came over the house one day which followed by bringing her mother(the supposedly X) which was drunk and made a big scene in front of my house screaming "He's my husband" ! So...i wanted nothing to do with them and then he swore he would take care of the problem.(he didn't)

I went through this period of back and forth lies, manipulation. I didn't know how bad it was getting. He chased all my friends away and slowley chipped away at me until i quess i was under control of some sort. I periodically found crack bags at the house. I couldn't figure out how he was doing it with out no money. I quess his X was giving and doing the crack with him. I was just trying(i quess) to keep thngs together and move on to a normal life. He was unpredicable and was nice and a minute later nasty.

Years passed....he kept avoiding the questions, problems, drugs,etc. It wasn't all that bad, but I don't know how i stayed for that long(i feel so stupid now) I worked on the house like a man, putting floors in, tile, painting, cutting the grass while he was so lazy it was unbelievable. I don't know why i stayed(it wasn't because of love) I think i was worried about my children. I wanted them(2 boys) to have a good school and a nice house to live it. I also spent my time going to school part time and furthering my education. I was not happy with him that is for sure! FINALLY... I planned my escape.... and left....he made the house go to foreclosure and stole money from the business after i left. Before i left he left for 2 weeks(apparently with the X) She got arrested for hitting a car, drinking and driving, etc. I have a restraining order against him and a charge of arson threat. They both have court cases coming up in Sept. HA! I think it's so funny.

He keeps calling my job. I'm recording it and taking it to the judge in Sept. He needs to leave me alone. He went to a court case last week with his x(really wife). A friend of mine spotted him there with his X. He called my friend later and told them not to tell me he was with her.(ha) He keeps leaving messages on my answering machine at work like he wants to go back together. Can you believe it? I can't wait until i get him in court. That Mother needs to leave me alone! It has been almost 9 months now and i'm so happy that i left. I have to go to the court case with him, but i'm also thinking about going to the(x-really wife's)court case just for revenge and a good laugh because of all the yrs of ...whatever it was...

I don't know why i wrote this...i feel really dumb. You wouldn't know it if you met me. I have a good job, a nice car, i'm attractive, a nice girl, etc. I guess i'm just putting out a warning to people be careful out there. There are alot of bad people. If it happened to me, it could happen to anyone! Be careful.

ps. How can you be married to someone and they leave you and are living with another woman for 14 years and you still see them? Also his (x-really wife) had a boyfriend and a child with another guy. The kid is with him now! Didn't she even care about her child? If my husband left me and was living with someone else i wouldn't talk to himif hecalled. Is this what drugs do to you? JERRY...JERRY!!!!

Pss. This will never happen to me again!

Psss. Eventually...i will be seeking a 50/50 relationship. Right now i'm just getting my ducks in a row & taking care of me.

Blonde

UPDATE!!!!
The SOB got 90 days(suspended) and 2 weekends in jail for violating the protective order. His i'll say it lightly(stepdaughter)was there in the audience and when i walked by she hollered out i was a "liar"!!!!! She will find out later, i guess she believes all his lies. I actually think he could even be sleeping with her, he was calling her about 10 times a day for 20 min at a shot when he shared cell phone min with me. What? Persay? could they have been talking about??? Anyway, it was like putting an oyster in a piggy bank. Believe me! The last couple years he aint what he used to be(ha ha) She can have him or share him with her ugly mother!

He can win the academy award for the acting he does. He missed his calling! The "wife" was not at the courthouse and his attorney(i didn't have one cause i was a witness for the state)told the judge the only reason he was calling my job & writing me letters for the last 10 months was because he was so in "love". In love? How insulting. All he tried to do was "collect" women. My friends spotted him at walmart and at another court case with his "wife". And, they all said how ugly she was. Not for me because it is true. Did you ever see people who are on drugs for a long time? It is not a pretty picture. Why call me at this point when you are STILL in the same situation? He didn't do anything different and still wanted me back(YEAH...THIS #### MUST BE GOOD!! HA HA) Anyway, how insulting & sick!!!! sick!! SicK!!

I have now moved on, but i wanted to let everyone know what happened!
It made me feel better to write all this ####(anomalously) to get it off my chest. Thanks for all your advice, jokes, etc. It really took the edge off. I'm too busy for therapy. Now...to find a GOOD MAn!!!!

.

 

[ArkRescue]

A good man might be the only therapy you need

UPDATE!!!!
The SOB got 90 days(suspended) and 2 weekends in jail for violating the protective order. His i'll say it lightly(stepdaughter)was there in the audience and when i walked by she hollered out i was a "liar"!!!!! She will find out later, i guess she believes all his lies. I actually think he could even be sleeping with her, he was calling her about 10 times a day for 20 min at a shot when he shared cell phone min with me. What? Persay? could they have been talking about??? Anyway, it was like putting an oyster in a piggy bank. Believe me! The last couple years he aint what he used to be(ha ha) She can have him or share him with her ugly mother!

He can win the academy award for the acting he does. He missed his calling! The "wife" was not at the courthouse and his attorney(i didn't have one cause i was a witness for the state)told the judge the only reason he was calling my job & writing me letters for the last 10 months was because he was so in "love". In love? How insulting. All he tried to do was "collect" women. My friends spotted him at walmart and at another court case with his "wife". And, they all said how ugly she was. Not for me because it is true. Did you ever see people who are on drugs for a long time? It is not a pretty picture. Why call me at this point when you are STILL in the same situation? He didn't do anything different and still wanted me back(YEAH...THIS #### MUST BE GOOD!! HA HA) Anyway, how insulting & sick!!!! sick!! SicK!!

I have now moved on, but i wanted to let everyone know what happened!
It made me feel better to write all this ####(anomalously) to get it off my chest. Thanks for all your advice, jokes, etc. It really took the edge off. I'm too busy for therapy. Now...to find a GOOD MAn!!!!

.

 

[aps45819]

Don't you know "Ex Parte" is Latin for "I love you"

 

[lnmarsh]

Now...to find a GOOD MAn!!!!

.

I was once told that from a man's perspective, you meet women in bars to get laid. But you meet women in grocery stores to meet your soul mate

So go grocery shopping! If you find a man with a bunch of pre-packaged food and things in bulk, they're usually single

Happy hunting!

 

[gemma_rae]

I was once told that from a man's perspective, you meet women in bars to get laid. But you meet women in grocery stores to meet your soul mate

So go grocery shopping! If you find a man with a bunch of pre-packaged food and things in bulk, they're usually single

Happy hunting!

Yeah but the only reason they're single is because thier ex wives claimed they were abusive alcoholics.

 

[lnmarsh]

Yeah but the only reason they're single is because thier ex wives claimed they were abusive alcoholics.

....

 

[SoccerMom2]

I was once told that from a man's perspective, you meet women in bars to get laid. But you meet women in grocery stores to meet your soul mate

So go grocery shopping! If you find a man with a bunch of pre-packaged food and things in bulk, they're usually single

Happy hunting!

Just don't go to walmart...lol!

 

[ArkRescue]

How can you meet someone in the grocery store and then give them your contact information (how else will you see them again?) without looking like you're loose and/or easy?

Yeah but the only reason they're single is because thier ex wives claimed they were abusive alcoholics.

 

[RareBreed]

How can you meet someone in the grocery store and then give them your contact information (how else will you see them again?) without looking like you're loose and/or easy?

I met my husband at the vet's office. I gave my name and number to the receptionist to give to him under the impression that we had talked about setting up a ferret play date and I had forgotten to give him my number.