S
somdebay
Guest
Spicober said:
contrary to what we say, we really do feel sorry for the family
Another Bridge Jumper this Early Tuesday Morning
- Thread starter _MightyMouse_
- Start date
contrary to what we say, we really do feel sorry for the family
A Loved One Now Gone
I am RIGHT there with Spicober, I am a VERY Close and Dear friend of Paul's and he has left SOOO many of us with SO MANY what ifs, only ifs, & whys. None of us will ever have an answer:-( None of us know what is really truely going on in anothers mind. Paul just 2 days ago was all full of SO MANY POSITIVE THOUGHTS HOPES & DREAMS, so for those of you that are SO QUICK to spit out negative nasty comments stop and think about it, this could have been one of your loved ones or close friends.
Paul is truely missed
Spicober said:
I am RIGHT there with Spicober, I am a VERY Close and Dear friend of Paul's and he has left SOOO many of us with SO MANY what ifs, only ifs, & whys. None of us will ever have an answer:-( None of us know what is really truely going on in anothers mind. Paul just 2 days ago was all full of SO MANY POSITIVE THOUGHTS HOPES & DREAMS, so for those of you that are SO QUICK to spit out negative nasty comments stop and think about it, this could have been one of your loved ones or close friends.
Paul is truely missed
S
somdebay
Guest
was his body ever found? are you absolutely positive he jumped? not to be mean or anything, but it would be a good way to fake a death, with the frequency of jumpers on the bridge...
No unfortunatly the body has not been recovered. We are hoping that it will be sooner than later that they do. We have already thought about the fact that he could have "ran"-anything is possible, but I cant imagine him being around with out visiting his neices.
the officers were on the scene with in minutes of the report of the van on the bridge, and they said they had a helicopter and patrol men on foot on both sides of the bridge. IF a person would have "ran" the only way would have been if someone picked him up.Anything is possible with anyone, but I dont think thats the case here.
the officers were on the scene with in minutes of the report of the van on the bridge, and they said they had a helicopter and patrol men on foot on both sides of the bridge. IF a person would have "ran" the only way would have been if someone picked him up.Anything is possible with anyone, but I dont think thats the case here.
I
Inkpen
Guest
Often times, someone who is contemplating sucide, will appear lost, detached from life,,and then, appear normal, full of "hope", upbeat. What is usually happening is that the individual has found resolution to the problem, a plan has been made and a way out is clear. So with the answer to the sever internal pain, the individual is at peace.
Sadly, people around this person has NO clue as to what is going on.
Paul found a solution to his pain and was in such a mentally peaceful place, that nothing else mattered execpt carring out his plan.
In Suicide Prevention work, a SAL scale is used to determine risk: How Soon, How Available, How Lethal.
Obviously Paul had a high SAL risk, and no one saw it. I doubt anyone could have,
What you ( who ever is reading this) can do is to learn more about the signs of suicide thru the Crisis Center or the local Health Department. If not for you, for someone else. Thanks..a former Suicide Counselor.
I am sorry for Paul and for his family and friends.
Sadly, people around this person has NO clue as to what is going on.
Paul found a solution to his pain and was in such a mentally peaceful place, that nothing else mattered execpt carring out his plan.
In Suicide Prevention work, a SAL scale is used to determine risk: How Soon, How Available, How Lethal.
Obviously Paul had a high SAL risk, and no one saw it. I doubt anyone could have,
What you ( who ever is reading this) can do is to learn more about the signs of suicide thru the Crisis Center or the local Health Department. If not for you, for someone else. Thanks..a former Suicide Counselor.
I am sorry for Paul and for his family and friends.
Thanks for Your Care, Concern & Input
It is funny you say so full of "Hope" because he was. I told Spicober when Paul and I spoke for a LONG period of time Sunday it was ALL UP BEAT, Positive, Future plans type of talk. I so wish that this is all a nightmare and he will show back up, but he has certian close family & friends that he would have turned to, my daughter has said "Mommy what if he is coming here to NY". It SUCKS that they have NOT found his body yet and with that a part of me is hoping maybe this is all a really bad dream, & he will pop up, but in reality we dont know. He is just so loved and so missed and I wish he would have realized how LOVED he was/is before he jumped.
I pray that he is in Gods care now 
Inkpen said:Often times, someone who is contemplating sucide, will appear lost, detached from life,,and then, appear normal, full of "hope", upbeat. What is usually happening is that the individual has found resolution to the problem, a plan has been made and a way out is clear. So with the answer to the sever internal pain, the individual is at peace.
Sadly, people around this person has NO clue as to what is going on.
Paul found a solution to his pain and was in such a mentally peaceful place, that nothing else mattered execpt carring out his plan.
I am sorry for Paul and for his family and friends.
It is funny you say so full of "Hope" because he was. I told Spicober when Paul and I spoke for a LONG period of time Sunday it was ALL UP BEAT, Positive, Future plans type of talk. I so wish that this is all a nightmare and he will show back up, but he has certian close family & friends that he would have turned to, my daughter has said "Mommy what if he is coming here to NY". It SUCKS that they have NOT found his body yet and with that a part of me is hoping maybe this is all a really bad dream, & he will pop up, but in reality we dont know. He is just so loved and so missed and I wish he would have realized how LOVED he was/is before he jumped.
I pray that he is in Gods care now
I
Inkpen
Guest
Again, I am so sorry for all the loved ones Paul left behind.
Sucide is a tangled event, and the true victims are the ones left behind. They, (you) have no closure, tons of unanswered questions and a life time of guilt ( could have done something, if only) and of pain. Paul is at peace, his pain is gone. Sadly sucide victims do not think of the effects of their actions. They cannot see beyond the pain. Their lives are so out of control, or they believe they have lost ALL control , that all they have control over is the ending of their pain, by death. I suggest finding a suicide support group for all of you as that is the only real way you will find resolution. Paul made his decission, and it is his choice, try not to blame yourself for not seeing his pain.
Find joy in his life and lessons in his death. I wish all of you hope and peace in the weeks and months ahead of you. In Peace...Inkpen.
Sucide is a tangled event, and the true victims are the ones left behind. They, (you) have no closure, tons of unanswered questions and a life time of guilt ( could have done something, if only) and of pain. Paul is at peace, his pain is gone. Sadly sucide victims do not think of the effects of their actions. They cannot see beyond the pain. Their lives are so out of control, or they believe they have lost ALL control , that all they have control over is the ending of their pain, by death. I suggest finding a suicide support group for all of you as that is the only real way you will find resolution. Paul made his decission, and it is his choice, try not to blame yourself for not seeing his pain.
Find joy in his life and lessons in his death. I wish all of you hope and peace in the weeks and months ahead of you. In Peace...Inkpen.
I too was a friend of Paul, I am deeply saddened to hear the news. My heart goes out to the family.
Paul was a very good hearted person, I'm a sorry he wasn't able to see himself the way others did.
May god bless his family in this time of sorrow.
If there is any news please post it so we can all pay our respects to Paul.
Paul was a very good hearted person, I'm a sorry he wasn't able to see himself the way others did.
May god bless his family in this time of sorrow.
If there is any news please post it so we can all pay our respects to Paul.
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I want to thank you Inkpen for your VERY comforting words of wisdom. Its very strange that a stranger has helped me "think" and deal. I truly thank you for spending the time to put such heart felt words on here for those who have lost such a huge part of our life. I dont think the guilt will ease as quickly as knowing that he is finally not in pain anymore.
J
julz20684
Guest
Spicober said:
to Inkpen as well. When I was reading reading the post it touched me as well and I am not in any way related to this suicide incident at all, although recently a very close friend of mine and the kid's committed suicide. Might I just add that many times the person contemplating suicide or one who has committed suicide believes they are doing what's best for their family as well. In their mind they believe that their family/friends would be better off; the lives of their family/friends would be easier, less stressful, less painful, etc. if they were not here. Somehow they equate them being gone by easing any pain and suffering on their family/friends.
BS Gal said:
I'd love to know what relatives you spoke with, because I and another VERY close friend/family member of his was/are SHOCKED by his doing! I for one spoke with him on Sunday & for a quite a long time and it was ALL good happy up beat talk, and I was going to see him this weekend...
You cannot control another person's action just as you cannot control the weather. Unfortunately, he chose to deal with his pain in such a horrible and final way, but you cannot blame yourself or others for what he did.Spicober said:
My condolences to you and the rest of his loved ones.
jazz lady said:You cannot control another person's action just as you cannot control the weather. Unfortunately, he chose to deal with his pain in such a horrible and final way, but you cannot blame yourself or others for what he did.
My condolences to you and the rest of his loved ones.
Sad thing is NO ONE was trying to control him. He is who he is, which makes him the WONDERFUL GUY that he is (I can not and WON'T talk in the pastense)!! For someone to have so much pain within, he sure HID it well, especially from the ones that LOVED him MOST. You know maybe if I were closer, closer then a Phone Call away, why couldn't I just be an arms reach away, WHY?!?!?!?!?!
Sad, but a fence will not help. A person bent on killing themselves will find a way.jenbengen said:
Dougstermd
ORGASM DONOR
Another Bridge Jumper t... 03-16-2007 06:24 PM Nice job- the family is reading this
this Karma was in response to my comments earlier in the fread.
I responded to someone elses comment before I read the entire fread. I had considered deleteing the post but decided not to. I appoligize to those who were offended and my comments were no way intended to diminish the Life of the man who tragically ended his life.
~Dougster
this Karma was in response to my comments earlier in the fread.
I responded to someone elses comment before I read the entire fread. I had considered deleteing the post but decided not to. I appoligize to those who were offended and my comments were no way intended to diminish the Life of the man who tragically ended his life.
~Dougster