[B]She is at it again[/B]

[vraiblonde]

Now I have started working a couple of nights a week To help my ends meet again. I still want to go back to taking them to dinner atleast once a week. I have went from living in a very nice house I designed and oversaw being built to renting a sh!tty trailer so I could afford to pay her everthing she had comming. I took off to take them to the doctors when she called me but this week I had to say no three times cause she still hasn't come up with a contigency. WTF

You are a fabulous example of someone who should have stayed married because you can't afford to be divorced. My ex tried that crap on me - "I'm so poor because I have to pay child support. Boo hoo!"

Yeah, buddy, you should have thought of that before you started boinking your co-worker.

 

[Wickedwrench]

I stay home with my kids every chance I get. Besides, I'm keeping a tally sheet to go to court with.

 

[FastCarsSpeed]

Doug,

I guess my question after reading a couple of your responses is that what the hell did you do or get caught with to be in the situation you are in that you cannot afford to work just one job and handle everything. Im sorry your in the situation but something must have happend to put you there.

ACE,

Yes my ex and I are on good terms because I made it a point to keep it that way. It isnt always easy but its in the best interests of my children. I also did nothing in my marriage to warrant her raking me over the coals. I gave her half the equity in the house and we split the assets as we agreed to. I also made it a point that I would not give her $$$ for the kids. I will take care of whatever they need but I am not just giving her cash. With little dude going to private school next year I will save about 200 a month and I told her I would have that 200 direct deposited every month into the kids bank accounts. I know my divorce doesnt seem to be the norm here LOL.

Oh well gotta go Little guy wants to hang out and I have been researching the damn Nanticoke Indians for the past 2 hours with my daughter. No mo net for me tonite and since she actually finished her homework tonite Im sure they wont have school tomorrow LOL..

Doug Good luck with the situation and I understand your frustration.

 

[RoseRed]

ACE,

Yes my ex and I are on good terms because I made it a point to keep it that way. It isnt always easy but its in the best interests of my children. I also did nothing in my marriage to warrant her raking me over the coals. I gave her half the equity in the house and we split the assets as we agreed to. I also made it a point that I would not give her $$$ for the kids. I will take care of whatever they need but I am not just giving her cash. With little dude going to private school next year I will save about 200 a month and I told her I would have that 200 direct deposited every month into the kids bank accounts. I know my divorce doesnt seem to be the norm here LOL.

I am impressed. My ex did pretty much the same and we get along very well also. He does not pay a huge amount of child support, but he does split the cost of extra activities, such as her dance classes and subsequent costume fees, etc.

We do things to help each other out too. He once changed my oil while our daughter was across his street for riding lessons. He helped us put up our Christmas tree this and last year. I did some homework for him when someone was trying to scam him for identity theft, etc...

In the end, the bottom line is your child. Our daughter is well adjusted and knows that her Daddy and I get along and help each other out. Setting a good example is what matters.

 

[MysticalMom]

Ok I called the ex on monday to tell her school was dismissing early she wanted me to take off work I told her I couldn't.
Then she had my son call me tuesday and see if I would pick him up from her office I told him I was sorry but I could not. I called her and told her that guilt trip was FU.
Then she calls me this morning and says school will probally be cancelled tomorrow could I take off because she has a class in Waldorf. Again I told her to FO. I told her that she has full physical custody and that is her responsibility she argued we have joint custody and that my weekends really commence at 0800 on Friday.

We have joint legal custody with her having Sole Physical Custody and I get "Normal Visitation" every other weekend and every other holiday. I think I am perfectly right telling her to FO and deal with this herself. What experience has everyone else had with these matters?

Doug's a good friend and I can tell you all he is a great dad,love his kids VERy much and does EVERYTHING he can for and with his kids.I don't know why it's an issue. If schools etc. are closed will she even still have class?

 

[RoseRed]

Doug's a good friend and I can tell you all he is a great dad,love his kids VERy much and does EVERYTHING he can for and with his kids.I don't know why it's an issue. If schools etc. are closed will she even still have class?

Some of the base related classes don't get cancelled, no matter where you are. It sux.

 

[Vixen]

Hey Doug,

How was all this handled BEFORE the divorce/separation?

I just think that parents should take turns taking off when needed. No matter who has “Sole Physical Custody.” :shrug:

Or whether they are still married or not, provided both parents work.

I understand that isn't always feasible if the parents live too far.

 

[MysticalMom]

Some of the base related classes don't get cancelled, no matter where you are. It sux.

Oh. Ok. Well Doug knows I'll babysit if need be. If there's no school my 4 will be home anyway . Whats a couple more?

 

[Tigerlily]

Oh. Ok. Well Doug knows I'll babysit if need be. If there's no school my 4 will be home anyway . Whats a couple more?

The issue here is not if he can find someone else to watch them. We both know that would not be an issue. I believe his point is that she should also have a back up person/plan for these exact situations. She does not want to use her leave so she can save it for what she wants to do. She expects him to drop everything at the end of a mere phone call and do what she wants. Yes there is a power struggle as well. He does not have the time available to just up and leave work without notice. If it is an emergency he has and will leave and do what needs to be done. He should not be the only one responsible here.

 

[Dougstermd]

You are a fabulous example of someone who should have stayed married because you can't afford to be divorced. My ex tried that crap on me - "I'm so poor because I have to pay child support. Boo hoo!"

Yeah, buddy, you should have thought of that before you started boinking your co-worker.

You Know I don't even have the notion to debate you on this, although you have over generalized me into a catagory with your ex. After 17 years with this woman she said I drank too much and she was leaving if I did not stop. I agreed to stop and after 6 weeks cold turkey she said I was still an ####### and she was leaving anyway. Now I am happier than when I was in that relationship. Approx half of my takehome income goes to child support so yes I whine alot about it. GET OVER IT!

 

[slotted]

You Know I don't even have the notion to debate you on this, although you have over generalized me into a catagory with your ex. After 17 years with this woman she said I drank too much and she was leaving if I did not stop. I agreed to stop and after 6 weeks cold turkey she said I was still an ####### and she was leaving anyway. Now I am happier than when I was in that relationship. Approx half of my takehome income goes to child support so yes I whine alot about it. GET OVER IT!

And he's drinking again.

 

[Toxick]

I get damn sick and tired of these guys that think the kids are the woman's responsibility.

That's not what I saw happening here.

Like I said yesterday, I'm all about going beyond the call of duty for my kids. But when someone can't get away, they can't get away. I have deadlines at work, and I have important calls I have to take. It's part of the job. And frankly, that's what feeds the children.

My kids are relying on my paycheck, so I better damn sight make sure I HAVE a paycheck, and I need to keep my job so the money train doesn't stop.


Regardless of anyone's feelings, putting food in front of the children is more important than being your ex's safety net when she can't handle her own custodial responsibilities.

It takes two to tango.

"I can't take off - can you take care of it?" "NOOOOO!!! My life is SO important that I don't have time for YOUR child!"

Nope.

More like I'm busy making money to feed and cloth our child. You'll just have to miss class on Friday. I'll write your teacher an effing note.

 

[harleygirl]

You Know I don't even have the notion to debate you on this, although you have over generalized me into a catagory with your ex. After 17 years with this woman she said I drank too much and she was leaving if I did not stop. I agreed to stop and after 6 weeks cold turkey she said I was still an ####### and she was leaving anyway. Now I am happier than when I was in that relationship. Approx half of my takehome income goes to child support so yes I whine alot about it. GET OVER IT!

Half of your take home pay? Something is wrong here. Maryland has strict guidelines they use. Maybe you need another lawyer.

 

[aps45819]

Half of your take home pay? Something is wrong here. Maryland has strict guidelines they use.

And they're based on your GROSS pay.

After taxes and other deductions, it's not hard for it to be a big portion of your take home. No tax break for child support and you can't claim the kids as a deduction at the end of the year

 

[LexiGirl75]

Say for instance if he took LWOP to care for the child. Would they still take the same amount out for child support even though he made less because he missed a day?

 

[harleygirl]

And they're based on your GROSS pay.

After taxes and other deductions, it's not hard for it to be a big portion of your take home. No tax break for child support and you can't claim the kids as a deduction at the end of the year

Did not realize that. My divorce was very smooth, no lawyers involved. It is a shame everyone cannot come to mutal agreements without involving shark lawyers. My ex gave me the house, it was built on my families land. In return, he pays only 280 a month in child support. I even waived it for a few months while he was building a house. Sometimes you have to look at an ex like I do, he was a good person, just not good for me.

 

[DoWhat]

I read the first page of this thread. I am wondering weather or not I should read the rest of this or make my comment now?

 

[Dougstermd]

I read the first page of this thread. I am wondering weather or not I should read the rest of this or make my comment now?

Jump in now thw water is warm

 

[Pete]

And they're based on your GROSS pay.

After taxes and other deductions, it's not hard for it to be a big portion of your take home. No tax break for child support and you can't claim the kids as a deduction at the end of the year

Yes you can IF you have it stipulated in the divorce decree. If it is not mentioned the custodial parent gets to claim it every year.

 

[RoseRed]

Jump in now thw water is warm

oolpisser: