[B]She is at it again[/B]

[mAlice]

Oh and disregard everything Im saying if she is taking off just to go to class and is unemployed.

:air:

 

[bresamil]

I have sole physical custody of my children and I always assume I will be the one taking time off from work, etc. Luckily, my ex and his wife have offered to share those unexpected days. Although they leave for work at 4am, either is only a phone call away if one of the children wake up sick on a day I have a big meeting. I rarely take them up on it, but it's nice to know that the option exists. We've worked out our relationship so that my children benefit from three adults concerned with the children's welfare, instead of two adults ignoring the children for the sake of personal war.

I know that I am farther down the path than Dougster in the separation/divorce world, but it would benefit the children greatly if Doug and his ex could determine to put them first and the disagreements second. It's not easy, but very much worth it.

 

[aps45819]

Dont think that way honey!!! More men are getting screwed by the mothers of their children but all they do is bytch and moan.....do something about it by getting a lawyer (if you can afford it) and see what your chances are. Dont do it just to get back at her but do it because you honestly beleive your son would be better off with you.

Been there, done that. Chances aren't good for men getting custody (here anyways) unless the mother is either unfit (and you can prove it) or she doesn't want them.

 

[Qurious]

I have sole physical custody of my children and I always assume I will be the one taking time off from work, etc. Luckily, my ex and his wife have offered to share those unexpected days. Although they leave for work at 4am, either is only a phone call away if one of the children wake up sick on a day I have a big meeting. I rarely take them up on it, but it's nice to know that the option exists. We've worked out our relationship so that my children benefit from three adults concerned with the children's welfare, instead of two adults ignoring the children for the sake of personal war.
I know that I am farther down the path than Dougster in the separation/divorce world, but it would benefit the children greatly if Doug and his ex could determine to put them first and the disagreements second. It's not easy, but very much worth it.

 

[ACESRT04]

imo... helping out or taking off once a month if she needs you to is working as a team for the benefit of the child.

Its obvious she has no one else to watch the child...how shameful is it that she has to call upon someone other than you to watch your son? You dont want that do you?

OH PLEASE!! You keep stating that he needs to help her out well I'm sure she was not so sympathetic when asking for child support. It seems to me she raked the poor guy over the coals then everyone goes and tries to lay a guilt trip on him for not spending time with his kids when it is not convient for him. The guy is working TWO jobs and even coached his kids team. It sounds to me that if she needs this much help then fine ask him for help but don't expect it unless she is willing to help him out a little. Why not ask him to watch the kids Friday and give him 50 or 70 bucks to take them out to eat and watch a movie. I'm sure he would be MUCH more open to that then taking off work to lose money.

 

[Qurious]

OH PLEASE!! You keep stating that he needs to help her out well I'm sure she was not so sympathetic when asking for child support. It seems to me she raked the poor guy over the coals then everyone goes and tries to lay a guilt trip on him for not spending time with his kids when it is not convient for him. The guy is working TWO jobs and even coached his kids team. It sounds to me that if she needs this much help then fine ask him for help but don't expect it unless she is willing to help him out a little. Why not ask him to watch the kids Friday and give him 50 or 70 bucks to take them out to eat and watch a movie. I'm sure he would be MUCH more open to that then taking off work to lose money.

imagine that? she has full custody...

 

[Dougstermd]

Dont think that way honey!!! More men are getting screwed by the mothers of their children but all they do is bytch and moan.....do something about it by getting a lawyer (if you can afford it) and see what your chances are. Dont do it just to get back at her but do it because you honestly beleive your son would be better off with you.

we are both very good parents just she is a STUPID BIATCH?

 

[Toxick]

Its obvious she has no one else to watch the child...

This, right here, is the entire problem in a nutshell.
The hub of the wheel.
The black hole at the center of the galaxy.

You nailed it.

how shameful is it that she has to call upon someone other than you to watch your son? You dont want that do you?

Why is that shameful?

My wife and I are together, and I'll tell her to go get a sitter if she needs to do something, and I can't get off work.

Guess how much guilt and shame I feel over this.


None.

 

[ACESRT04]

imagine that? she has full custody...

Are you really that stupid? I used that one line as an example of how things could be less tense and you only focus in on that instead of my statement as a whole. You must be good friends with his ex or just like her.

 

[Qurious]

This, right here, is the entire problem in a nutshell.
The hub of the wheel.
The black hole at the center of the galaxy.

You nailed it.


Why is that shameful?

My wife and I are together, and I'll tell her to go get a sitter if she needs to do something, and I can't get off work.

Guess how much guilt and shame I feel over this.


None.

but you two are together. They are apart....

i dont know, i just see parents working together for the benefit of the child....a father shouldn't have to be told what to do nor should she have to beg and plead for him to watch the kid all the time.

doug is she working?

 

[dustin]

we are both very good parents just she is a STUPID BIATCH?

Dude does she know a sitter that could watch the kid for a couple hours? Could you afford to pay for the sitter for a couple hours? That way you could still go to work. She gets to go to her class, and she could watch the kid the rest of the day.

 

[Qurious]

Are you really that stupid? I used that one line as an example of how things could be less tense and you only focus in on that instead of my statement as a whole. You must be good friends with his ex or just like her.

y would u think that? I dont know her or him...

my sister is going through this right now. She'll call the father of her kids to come watch them when she has to go on a job interview or something and he'll say "u can't find someone else?"

excuse me...

but these are your kids.

 

[Dougstermd]

I have sole physical custody of my children and I always assume I will be the one taking time off from work, etc. Luckily, my ex and his wife have offered to share those unexpected days. Although they leave for work at 4am, either is only a phone call away if one of the children wake up sick on a day I have a big meeting. I rarely take them up on it, but it's nice to know that the option exists. We've worked out our relationship so that my children benefit from three adults concerned with the children's welfare, instead of two adults ignoring the children for the sake of personal war.

I know that I am farther down the path than Dougster in the separation/divorce world, but it would benefit the children greatly if Doug and his ex could determine to put them first and the disagreements second. It's not easy, but very much worth it.

I totaly agree and I was glad to do these things for the benefit of the children. I just can't get off work as easily as I did when I was married. That is mostly my fault. I am not acting like a dickweed just to piss her off. I am taking the kids an extra weekend this month so she can go to her office Christmas musical at the Kennedy center and she wants to stay overnight in DC. I will have to forgo working Christmas party at The American Legion or get a baby sitter. No big deal.

 

[aps45819]

my sister is going through this right now. She'll call the father of her kids to come watch them when she has to go on a job interview or something and he'll say "u can't find someone else?"

Does her X work to jobs so he can pay his child support? Is she living in the house he built?

or is the crackhead you want out of your place?

 

[Toxick]

but you two are together. They are apart....

So what?!

I'd behave exactly the same way if we weren't together. I'm working to feed my kids and keep a roof over their heads. That's the number one priority of my entire life. I'll do what I can, when I can - but if I can't, I can't.

i dont know, i just see parents working together for the benefit of the child....a father shouldn't have to be told what to do nor should she have to beg and plead for him to watch the kid all the time.

That's not what's happening here.

 

[Toxick]

my sister is going through this right now.

Ah.. That explains that.

She'll call the father of her kids to come watch them when she has to go on a job interview or something and he'll say "u can't find someone else?"

What is he doing when she calls him?

Fishing?
Playing Halo 2?
Downloading Porno?

 

[Qurious]

Ah.. That explains that.



What is he doing when she calls him?

Fishing?
Playing Halo 2?
Downloading Porno?

Catching up on sleep from volunteer overtime or playing video games. he lives in VA.

 

[Toxick]

Catching up on sleep from volunteer overtime or playing video games. he lives in VA.

Be careful that you don't project his behavior onto others who aren't engaging in it.



Where in Virginia?

 

[Qurious]

Be careful that you don't project his behavior onto other who aren't engaging in it.



Where in Virginia?

lol...

Annadale...

i guess you could say my opinions are stemming from the stress I see my sister go through because of him. The bad ass nephew will act out and she'll call him to come get him and keep him overnight and he'll say "why what did he do now?"

there shouldnt be any second guessing, or hesitation when it comes to taking your child.

Im sure Doug your a great guy and doing what you need to do for your son but you do know child support goes way beyond dollars and cents. If she is a bytch dont hold that against your son....thats all im saying.

 

[FastCarsSpeed]

Ok I called the ex on monday to tell her school was dismissing early she wanted me to take off work I told her I couldn't.
Then she had my son call me tuesday and see if I would pick him up from her office I told him I was sorry but I could not. I called her and told her that guilt trip was FU.
Then she calls me this morning and says school will probally be cancelled tomorrow could I take off because she has a class in Waldorf. Again I told her to FO. I told her that she has full physical custody and that is her responsibility she argued we have joint custody and that my weekends really commence at 0800 on Friday.

We have joint legal custody with her having Sole Physical Custody and I get "Normal Visitation" every other weekend and every other holiday. I think I am perfectly right telling her to FO and deal with this herself. What experience has everyone else had with these matters?

WTF? I would give anything to have my children every day of the week. Im off here now to take my daughter to the orthodontist and will take tomorrow off if the weather is bad and schools are closed. Cherish every moment you can with them when they are young.