Dating and Spoiled Children

[vraiblonde]

What about if the kid wants to get a Lexus for his first car. Both parents think they are safe reliable, la la la and are in for half. That is a choice that does not necessarily affect the home if it can be afforded BUT it does potentially affect the marriage if the "step" thinks its excessive and that the money spent on said car would be better invested elsewhere. It's not as black and white as you people are making it.

The scenario you gave is indeed black and white:

The step butts out.

Just because the step's opinion is that the money could be better spent doesn't make it so. To insist and make a big deal out of it is just some juvenile power play, especially if the money is there.

Ideally all married parties have their own separate "mad" money that they can spend as they please. To not do so is dumb.

 

[kvj21075]

I wouldn't compromise. A 16 year-old has no business getting a tattoo, piercing or any other body modification. If hubby wanted his daughter to look like a tool, that's on him. I wouldn't divorce him over it.

so your child would just have to deal with the fact that thier step/bro or step/sis gets treated differently?

i guess if u spank them hard enough when they are kids they wont question your authority

 

[LusbyMom]

I wasn't asking one person, it was a general question. Hubby and I have different parenting styles. What works for us is disciplining our own. We can offer comments, but ultimately he has no say in how I handle a situation with my daughter and visa versa.

So can he discipline your daughter if she does something wrong and you are not around? Or does he wait until you get home to do it?

 

[kvj21075]

The scenario you gave is indeed black and white:

The step butts out.

Just because the step's opinion is that the money could be better spent doesn't make it so. To insist and make a big deal out of it is just some juvenile power play, especially if the money is there.

Ideally all married parties have their own separate "mad" money that they can spend as they please. To not do so is dumb.

this is where i have to come in and say yo uare wrong. my money is my money and 4ds money is my money







and yes of course im kidding!

 

[pixiegirl]

I wouldn't compromise. A 16 year-old has no business getting a tattoo, piercing or any other body modification. If hubby wanted his daughter to look like a tool, that's on him. I wouldn't divorce him over it.

What happens when said child is a pierced up tattooed freak and it comes time for family pictures? Are you going to start getting seperate pictures, you with yours, him with his?

It all depends on the type of relationship you have with each other. Some relationships are more practical while some are more organic.

 

[vraiblonde]

so your child would just have to deal with the fact that thier step/bro or step/sis gets treated differently?

Pretty much. You'd be surprised how well it can work out in the end. As long as the rules - whatever they are and whoever they apply to - are consistent, kids get with the program and live with it just fine. They also learn that life isn't always fair, which is a lesson that will serve them well.

 

[kvj21075]

What happens when said child is a pierced up tattooed freak and it comes time for family pictures? Are you going to start getting seperate pictures, you with yours, him with his?

It all depends on the type of relationship you have with each other. Some relationships are more practical while some are more organic.

family pictures have family in them, even if u dont like the piercings/tattoos its still family and they should be in the pic. (but if they are that ugly u can always get seperate ones too so they look pretty lol)

 

[kvj21075]

Pretty much. You'd be surprised how well it can work out in the end. As long as the rules - whatever they are and whoever they apply to - are consistent, kids get with the program and live with it just fine. They also learn that life isn't always fair, which is a lesson that will serve them well.

 

[Chasey_Lane]

so your child would just have to deal with the fact that thier step/bro or step/sis gets treated differently?

Yep, pretty much. My daughter, so I get to decide how she's raised. So far I think I've done pretty good. She'll be a 7th grader this year and will be taking honors classes again.

 

[pixiegirl]

The scenario you gave is indeed black and white:

The step butts out.

Just because the step's opinion is that the money could be better spent doesn't make it so. To insist and make a big deal out of it is just some juvenile power play, especially if the money is there.

Ideally all married parties have their own separate "mad" money that they can spend as they please. To not do so is dumb.

It is not black and white at all if there is a shared bank account. Say the money is there (as in doesn't put you in the red but puts you in a place where you can't enjoy something that you once did). And say one party in the marriage is indeed more financially responsible than the other. A marriage is a partnership and choices concerning big purchases should be considered together.

 

[vraiblonde]

What happens when said child is a pierced up tattooed freak and it comes time for family pictures? Are you going to start getting seperate pictures, you with yours, him with his?

So freakin' what???

Good lord, you are such a control freak! If the kid is all tatted and pierced, you put him in the picture and who cares?? It's not like you're never going to have another family photo done ever again in your life, and it gets to be a good family laugh when the kid grows up and becomes a CPA.

Or you can submit it for his VH1 Behind the Music.

 

[Chasey_Lane]

What happens when said child is a pierced up tattooed freak and it comes time for family pictures? Are you going to start getting seperate pictures, you with yours, him with his?

Why would I do that?

 

[vraiblonde]

Geez, what happens if your kids are cute and his are ugly? Do you get separate family portraits done? Do the cute kids get the better clothes because they look better in them? Does the cute girl have to stay home and not date because the ugly girl can't catch a boyfriend?

So many decisions!

 

[vraiblonde]

Yep, pretty much. My daughter, so I get to decide how she's raised. So far I think I've done pretty good. She'll be a 7th grader this year and will be taking honors classes again.

Plus she's an awesome drummer

 

[vraiblonde]

(but if they are that ugly u can always get seperate ones too so they look pretty lol)

hotoshop:

 

[pixiegirl]

Yep, pretty much. My daughter, so I get to decide how she's raised. So far I think I've done pretty good. She'll be a 7th grader this year and will be taking honors classes again.

You and J may be doing just fine at it but there are those that will not. Mk and I may be doing fine with our situtation while I'm sure there are those that are not. Different adults, different kids, different situations; they all dictate what the best choices are.

 

[K_Jo]

Geez, what happens if your kids are cute and his are ugly? Do you get separate family portraits done? Do the cute kids get the better clothes because they look better in them? Does the cute girl have to stay home and not date because the ugly girl can't catch a boyfriend?

So many decisions!

Piercings I can handle. Ugly will not be tolerated!!

 

[Chasey_Lane]

Geez, what happens if your kids are cute and his are ugly? Do you get separate family portraits done? Do the cute kids get the better clothes because they look better in them? Does the cute girl have to stay home and not date because the ugly girl can't catch a boyfriend?

So many decisions!

 

[Black-Francis]

hotoshop:

Piercings I can handle. Ugly will not be tolerated!!

 

[Chasey_Lane]

Plus she's an awesome drummer

She definitely gets that from someone other than myself.