Do you respect Stay at home Moms

[mAlice]

Maybe I misunderstood Vrai's post..I thought by "kept a good home" she meant a clean home....and not the total package (kids, spouse, etc.). I just don't want to be remembered for having a spotless house. To me, that means I wasted too much time cleaning and not enjoying life. I'd much rather be outside with nature and animals, etc. instead of just inside making sure my house was spotless. I would much rather be home with my kids while they're little, but when they're school aged I'm probably going to want to go back to work. I want to be able to use the education I paid for...even if it's part time until the kids get to high school or something. BTW, my boyfriend and I split all the household stuff pretty evenly. Sure, I cook most of the time, and do the majority of the laundry...but he does alot of dishes, takes out the trash, helps clean the bathroom, puts laundry away sometimes. I like that I can count on him to work with me, and not expect me to do it because 'I'm the woman.'

When gurl was little, I was a Domestic Goddess. When you have every day to do a little here and there while baby/toddler/spizwink is napping or having a little play alone time, you can keep things caught up. I long for those days. With everyone in the house working or going to school, we have to rush to get chores out of the way so we can have play time. I think it's much easier on all concerned if one parent can stay home and take care of all that.

 

[Cowgirl]

I bet Cowgirls mom was very proud of her home and her children and wouldn't go back and change it.

I don't know that she'd change anything. Maybe she'd have finished college before she had kids, but I think she is happy with her life choices. I sure as hell am glad she was a SAH mom. I had a wonderful childhood. She didn't start to work until we were all in school. Even then, she worked when we were in school, and was home when we were home.

 

[itsbob]

Crap! I clicked No by accident! So one of those no's should be a yes....stay at home parents have a full time job. I hope that when I have kids, I can afford to stay at home with them, at least until preschool age...

I disagree that this is always the BEST situation.. Mom's need time away from their kids, and a job, even part time is a break. Babies don't need mom around 24 hours a day, and mom's definetly don't need babies around 24 hours, they both need a break, and I think being home alone with mom actually hurts the babies development, and definetly does nothing for their social development.

Nicholas was all of 8 weeks old when BG went back to work, and I think BG was more then ready to go back. Being cooped up in a house 24/7 with a newborn is NOT a bed of roses by any stretch of the imagination.

Now that being said, his daycare has been a blessing. He's one year old and has 'peers'. He's got a best buddy that has been teaching him the ways of the world since he was well... a baby. I think he's developing faster because he gets to hang out with someone a little older then him, and tries hard to keep up. Mom can't do for him what an 18 month old can. Mom's not going to compete with him for his snacks, or steal his pacifier and hide it, or swipe his socks... all of it sounds funny, but it helps a LOT in the development of a baby. His thought processes seem to be more developed, and his social skills are MUCH improved. He doesn't cry when he is put down, or left at a sitter's house, he doesn't require being held 24 hours a day, hell if you try to hold him he gets upset, he wants to RUN!!

So maybe there is some positives to being a stay at home mom, but I think NOBODY ever talks about the positives of NOT being a stay at home mom, nor the benefites of daycare.

Just like the breastfeeding nazi's and breastfeeding, daycare is supposed to be BAD, no matter what, it's always BAD..

 

[Kain99]

I'll be honest. I respect stay at home Mom's who are home with the tiny ones, keep an impeccable house and have dinner on the table by 6:00. I did it for years. What I do not respect, are women who live in squalor while their husbands break their backs trying to make ends meet while the kids are at school.

I have a friend whose wife screams at him because they are broke! He's making at least $62000.00 a year. After the rent, all the bills, groceries and her occasional "alone cruises" they are strapped. Doesn't stop her from calling him every single night to ask him to pick up extras at the liqour and grocery store. ARRRRGGGH!

Rant over.... Most stay at home Mom's deserve major kudos! It's just some, I wanna strangle!

 

[Kain99]

I disagree that this is always the BEST situation.. Mom's need time away from their kids, and a job, even part time is a break. Babies don't need mom around 24 hours a day, and mom's definetly don't need babies around 24 hours, they both need a break, and I think being home alone with mom actually hurts the babies development, and definetly does nothing for their social development.

Nicholas was all of 8 weeks old when BG went back to work, and I think BG was more then ready to go back. Being cooped up in a house 24/7 with a newborn is NOT a bed of roses by any stretch of the imagination.

Now that being said, his daycare has been a blessing. He's one year old and has 'peers'. He's got a best buddy that has been teaching him the ways of the world since he was well... a baby. I think he's developing faster because he gets to hang out with someone a little older then him, and tries hard to keep up. Mom can't do for him what an 18 month old can. Mom's not going to compete with him for his snacks, or steal his pacifier and hide it, or swipe his socks... all of it sounds funny, but it helps a LOT in the development of a baby. His thought processes seem to be more developed, and his social skills are MUCH improved. He doesn't cry when he is put down, or left at a sitter's house, he doesn't require being held 24 hours a day, hell if you try to hold him he gets upset, he wants to RUN!!

So maybe there is some positives to being a stay at home mom, but I think NOBODY ever talks about the positives of NOT being a stay at home mom, nor the benefites of daycare.

Just like the breastfeeding nazi's and breastfeeding, daycare is supposed to be BAD, no matter what, it's always BAD..

I did it the other way and I couldn't agree with you more! Babies are much healthier having a life!

 

[mAlice]

I disagree that this is always the BEST situation.. Mom's need time away from their kids, and a job, even part time is a break. Babies don't need mom around 24 hours a day, and mom's definetly don't need babies around 24 hours, they both need a break, and I think being home alone with mom actually hurts the babies development, and definetly does nothing for their social development.

Nicholas was all of 8 weeks old when BG went back to work, and I think BG was more then ready to go back. Being cooped up in a house 24/7 with a newborn is NOT a bed of roses by any stretch of the imagination.

Now that being said, his daycare has been a blessing. He's one year old and has 'peers'. He's got a best buddy that has been teaching him the ways of the world since he was well... a baby. I think he's developing faster because he gets to hang out with someone a little older then him, and tries hard to keep up. Mom can't do for him what an 18 month old can. Mom's not going to compete with him for his snacks, or steal his pacifier and hide it, or swipe his socks... all of it sounds funny, but it helps a LOT in the development of a baby. His thought processes seem to be more developed, and his social skills are MUCH improved. He doesn't cry when he is put down, or left at a sitter's house, he doesn't require being held 24 hours a day, hell if you try to hold him he gets upset, he wants to RUN!!

So maybe there is some positives to being a stay at home mom, but I think NOBODY ever talks about the positives of NOT being a stay at home mom, nor the benefites of daycare.

Just like the breastfeeding nazi's and breastfeeding, daycare is supposed to be BAD, no matter what, it's always BAD..

I didn't have to be home 24/7. I'm married to a man who doesn't think that parenting is just "moms" job. It was no problem getting out when I needed or wanted to. When he came home from work, he was happy to hang out with his little girl, or take her out for ice cream or to the playground.

 

[itsbob]

I didn't have to be home 24/7. I'm married to a man who doesn't think that parenting is just "moms" job. It was no problem getting out when I needed or wanted to. When he came home from work, he was happy to hang out with his little girl, or take her out for ice cream or to the playground.

VERY true indeed.. but a lot of men aren't like that. Only us great ones.

 

[meangirl]

I didn't have to be home 24/7. I'm married to a man who doesn't think that parenting is just "moms" job. It was no problem getting out when I needed or wanted to. When he came home from work, he was happy to hang out with his little girl, or take her out for ice cream or to the playground.

Ditto! I'm not stuck with the kids at all. My husband comes home and spends time with the kids because he *wants* to.

I disagree that this is always the BEST situation.. Mom's need time away from their kids, and a job, even part time is a break. Babies don't need mom around 24 hours a day, and mom's definetly don't need babies around 24 hours, they both need a break, and I think being home alone with mom actually hurts the babies development, and definetly does nothing for their social development.

As for hurting their development... I hope you are kidding! We did so much more than most of the kids in daycares when mine were young. All 3 of mine that are still in school are in the gifted program, accelerated classes, so I'd say they weren't hurting in the development department at all.

 

[RoseRed]

I didn't have to be home 24/7. I'm married to a man who doesn't think that parenting is just "moms" job. It was no problem getting out when I needed or wanted to. When he came home from work, he was happy to hang out with his little girl, or take her out for ice cream or to the playground.

Agreed.

Although, I did work. I was also taking night classes and he didn't have a problem if I went to those and stopped for a break on my way home.

My case has considerably changed and I am now the full time parent. So I have no more comments, other than I do the best that I can. My daughter is also involved with Girl Scouts and dance classes and I make the time to get her to where she needs to be.

 

[mAlice]

As for hurting their development... I hope you are kidding! We did so much more than most of the kids in daycares when mine were young. All 3 of mine that are still in school are in the gifted program, accelerated classes, so I'd say they weren't hurting in the develpment department at all.

After my daughter started school, we'd play hooky on occasion and go to an aquarium, museum, zoo or something. If it was educational, I had no problem at all keeping her out of school. I think she only had perfect attendance once.

 

[vraiblonde]

I think BG was more then ready to go back.

That's not the impression I got.

But neither here nor there - daycare is not the end of the world and kids do thrive with pals to play with and strangers to not be shy around. I think it's good for them to get out a bit, too.

But it's stressful as hell trying to keep a house together, enjoy your toddler AND work outside the home 40 hours a week.

And like Elaine said, the chores don't pile up the way they do when you're working all the time. You pick up as you go, do a load of laundry every other day or whatever, instead of this mad rush to get it all taken care of first thing Saturday morning so you can enjoy your weekend.

 

[mAlice]

That's not the impression I got.

But neither here nor there - daycare is not the end of the world and kids do thrive with pals to play with and strangers to not be shy around. I think it's good for them to get out a bit, too.

But it's stressful as hell trying to keep a house together, enjoy your toddler AND work outside the home 40 hours a week.

And like Elaine said, the chores don't pile up the way they do when you're working all the time. You pick up as you go, do a load of laundry every other day or whatever, instead of this mad rush to get it all taken care of first thing Saturday morning so you can enjoy your weekend.

I'd be domestic again in a heartbeat. FB just has to say the word!

 

[itsbob]

I hope nobody misunderstood what I was saying, I wasn't implying that staying at home was bad.. I'm implying that not staying home isn't always bad. It's worked out great for lil Bubba... even his ATV drivin lessons are going well

 

[meangirl]

That's not the impression I got.

But neither here nor there - daycare is not the end of the world and kids do thrive with pals to play with and strangers to not be shy around. I think it's good for them to get out a bit, too.

But it's stressful as hell trying to keep a house together, enjoy your toddler AND work outside the home 40 hours a week.

And like Elaine said, the chores don't pile up the way they do when you're working all the time. You pick up as you go, do a load of laundry every other day or whatever, instead of this mad rush to get it all taken care of first thing Saturday morning so you can enjoy your weekend.

Right! I really admire the women who work, keep it all together, and are happy. It's just not the choice we made here.

 

[vraiblonde]

I'd be domestic again in a heartbeat. FB just has to say the word!

If he gives you trouble, you can come be our second wife. I'll treat you right.

 

[mAlice]

even his ATV drivin lessons are going well

You better not let me catch that baby on an ATV.

 

[mAlice]

If he gives you trouble, you can come be our second wife. I'll treat you right.

I have no doubt that he'd become a domestic if he had the opportunity, he has even said as much.

 

[greyhound]

The summers were a blast because mom always did things with us.

Bringing you over to Nanny's & sitting in lawn chairs under that big oak tree by the road. Waving to everyone that went by.

Those were the days!!!!! And your Mom can shop....she could go clothes shopping, fill up the car with bags and barely spend any money. She was good!

 

[nicole_M]

I disagree that this is always the BEST situation.. Mom's need time away from their kids, and a job, even part time is a break. Babies don't need mom around 24 hours a day, and mom's definetly don't need babies around 24 hours, they both need a break, and I think being home alone with mom actually hurts the babies development, and definetly does nothing for their social development.

Nicholas was all of 8 weeks old when BG went back to work, and I think BG was more then ready to go back. Being cooped up in a house 24/7 with a newborn is NOT a bed of roses by any stretch of the imagination.

Now that being said, his daycare has been a blessing. He's one year old and has 'peers'. He's got a best buddy that has been teaching him the ways of the world since he was well... a baby. I think he's developing faster because he gets to hang out with someone a little older then him, and tries hard to keep up. Mom can't do for him what an 18 month old can. Mom's not going to compete with him for his snacks, or steal his pacifier and hide it, or swipe his socks... all of it sounds funny, but it helps a LOT in the development of a baby. His thought processes seem to be more developed, and his social skills are MUCH improved. He doesn't cry when he is put down, or left at a sitter's house, he doesn't require being held 24 hours a day, hell if you try to hold him he gets upset, he wants to RUN!!

So maybe there is some positives to being a stay at home mom, but I think NOBODY ever talks about the positives of NOT being a stay at home mom, nor the benefites of daycare.

Just like the breastfeeding nazi's and breastfeeding, daycare is supposed to be BAD, no matter what, it's always BAD..

I agree that the first few weeks of a child's life is no bed of roses, infact, IMO they are the hardest...(I don't have teenagers yet!). The first 3 weeks of the twins life were the hardest of my life. I found myself up crying at night with them....Taking care of 2 newborns and a 18 month old took a toll on me. My fiance had to go right back to work, he does construction and doesn't get the leave like some jobs do. I was on my own from there....

And that is why I developed a very structured routine to which we all still follow.

We meet with 2 mothers every monday and have a play group. I also take my children to the park as much as possible, daily, weather permitting. I have met some fabulous mom's through going to the parks and we meet on a regular basis.

Logan (the oldest) is 3 now and has always been very advanced in all his skills. He was evaluated by our ped and she said he is about 1 year ahead of other 3 year olds.

I try my hardest to provide a school like environment for the kids so that when it is time to go, they are prepared.

Then my twins came along and had big brother to show them alot as well. They love to watch him and listen to him talk.

What you said above about mom not being able to compete, I agree with this if you only have 1 child, but having 3 children is like having a little daycare of your own.

Logan and Austin (my boys) are constantly arguing, big brother took the blocks I was playing with, and they have it out for a few seconds until I step in and tell them they will have to share, or whatever the situation is....All 3 of them interact in different ways all day long. They are also great at sharing, which alot of kids aren't. Logan was not, until the twins came along and he learned HOW to share. The twins, naturally, have always shared.

Being a SAHM gets to me at times, and I have to step back and take a breather. I was given 3 children in under 18 months, it is alot to handle, and I have the patience of a saint. I think one person can only do so much.

I have/am trying my hardest at this, and geek is right, I have perfected and learned alot from the beginning but I have not one regret.

Again, it all goes back to what works for each family. Either way, we are all still mothers/fathers if we have posted here, and all share that bond that is mother/father and child.

 

[itsbob]

I agree that the first few weeks of a child's life is no bed of roses, infact, IMO they are the hardest...(I don't have teenagers yet!). The first 3 weeks of the twins life were the hardest of my life. I found myself up crying at night with them....Taking care of 2 newborns and a 18 month old took a toll on me. My fiance had to go right back to work, he does construction and doesn't get the leave like some jobs do. I was on my own from there....

And that is why I developed a very structured routine to which we all still follow.

We meet with 2 mothers every monday and have a play group. I also take my children to the park as much as possible, daily, weather permitting. I have met some fabulous mom's through going to the parks and we meet on a regular basis.

Logan (the oldest) is 3 now and has always been very advanced in all his skills. He was evaluated by our ped and she said he is about 1 year ahead of other 3 year olds.

I try my hardest to provide a school like environment for the kids so that when it is time to go, they are prepared.

Then my twins came along and had big brother to show them alot as well. They love to watch him and listen to him talk.

What you said above about mom not being able to compete, I agree with this if you only have 1 child, but having 3 children is like having a little daycare of your own.

Logan and Austin (my boys) are constantly arguing, big brother took the blocks I was playing with, and they have it out for a few seconds until I step in and tell them they will have to share, or whatever the situation is....All 3 of them interact in different ways all day long. They are also great at sharing, which alot of kids aren't. Logan was not, until the twins came along and he learned HOW to share. The twins, naturally, have always shared.

Being a SAHM gets to me at times, and I have to step back and take a breather. I was given 3 children in under 18 months, it is alot to handle, and I have the patience of a saint. I think one person can only do so much.

I have/am trying my hardest at this, and geek is right, I have perfected and learned alot from the beginning but I have not one regret.

Again, it all goes back to what works for each family. Either way, we are all still mothers/fathers if we have posted here, and all share that bond that is mother/father and child.

Good for you, seriously.. you sound like you are doing very well, and I think many in your situation, with the cost of daycare, would have been forced to be stay at home mom or dad, and wouldn't have done the job as well.

Kudo's!!