How do I get him to take care of his son??????????

[bcp]

i wouldn't say anyone from his side of the family. yes my brother needs to take care of his son, i agree. but don't compare me or my family with him. that's ignorant.. and frankly so are you.

no
ignorant is the family supporting his actions.
how come you all dont put pressure on him to do right?
how come you all dont turn his ass in for running off on his child? I know someone knows where he is so dont even try that.

Ignorant is trying to protect him when he is doing something so wrong.

now, if ignorant is staying around and raising the child, making sure that child has college paid for, has a christmas every year, birthdays are special, taking them on trips, making sure they are fed, have clothing and medical care, then I suppose I must be one ignorant SOB, becuase thats how I raise my child, thats how I was raised.

you know where he is. Turn him in before he does it to someone else too.

now that the child has a father that does care, what exactly is the point in the sperm doners family having contact?
if you all really cared, pos son/brother woudl be in a jail somewhere for non-support.

 

[meangirl]

No. How ya doing? I'm so thankful for beautiful days like this. Hubby and I went up river for lunch. It was so relaxing............aaahhhhhhhh

As long as I am posting in this mess (hopefully for the last time) I will say this.
I TRULY understand where chemommy is coming from. I understand how she feels. I don't however agree with posting about it. Family business should stay in the family. Not be thrown out for everyone to trample on. Period.

I'm good.

I understand where she is coming from too. She only posted it here for one reason though and that is to piss you off. Reminds me of someone.

I don't know what people expect you to do btw. You already help her out with the babies needs. What can you *really* do about your son? Spank him? Kill him? (after you find him, of course...)

 

[citizen_fear]

no
ignorant is the family supporting his actions.
how come you all dont put pressure on him to do right?
how come you all dont turn his ass in for running off on his child? I know someone knows where he is so dont even try that.

Ignorant is trying to protect him when he is doing something so wrong.

now, if ignorant is staying around and raising the child, making sure that child has college paid for, has a christmas every year, birthdays are special, taking them on trips, making sure they are fed, have clothing and medical care, then I suppose I must be one ignorant SOB, becuase thats how I raise my child, thats how I was raised.

.

So BCP, if someone doesn't do as you would that would make them ignorant?

 

[Black-Francis]

So BCP, if someone doesn't do as you would that would make them ignorant?

BCP makes complete sense to me.......:shrug:

 

[citizen_fear]

BCP makes complete sense to me.......:shrug:

To a point I agree but I divorced and have 3 kids that i do everything i can for WHICH includes rewards and punishment and preparing them for life as they get older,my youngest is 13. I have done everything I am obligated to do legally and morally but I have hit a sticking point with my ex and my son on college. Am I ignorant for telling him "NO" i wont send him away to college for 4 years?

 

[smdavis65]

Oh Crap!!!

no
ignorant is the family supporting his actions.
how come you all dont put pressure on him to do right?
how come you all dont turn his ass in for running off on his child? I know someone knows where he is so dont even try that.

Ignorant is trying to protect him when he is doing something so wrong.

now, if ignorant is staying around and raising the child, making sure that child has college paid for, has a christmas every year, birthdays are special, taking them on trips, making sure they are fed, have clothing and medical care, then I suppose I must be one ignorant SOB, becuase thats how I raise my child, thats how I was raised.

you know where he is. Turn him in before he does it to someone else too.

now that the child has a father that does care, what exactly is the point in the sperm doners family having contact?
if you all really cared, pos son/brother woudl be in a jail somewhere for non-support.

I pay my child support faithfully, and have never missed a payment. In fact, I have paid out of my pocket for things it should have covered. But I must be a deadbeat, because I can't afford to pay their way through college. Darn...

 

[Black-Francis]

To a point I agree but I divorced and have 3 kids that i do everything i can for WHICH includes rewards and punishment and preparing them for life as they get older,my youngest is 13. I have done everything I am obligated to do legally and morally but I have hit a sticking point with my ex and my son on college. Am I ignorant for telling him "NO" i wont send him away to college for 4 years?

Hello Dumb Ass...... He is using "ignorant" as the fathers name....and he said help, not pay for.

 

[meangirl]

To a point I agree but I divorced and have 3 kids that i do everything i can for WHICH includes rewards and punishment and preparing them for life as they get older,my youngest is 13. I have done everything I am obligated to do legally and morally but I have hit a sticking point with my ex and my son on college. Am I ignorant for telling him "NO" i wont send him away to college for 4 years?

Yes!

Why won't you?

 

[citizen_fear]

Hello Dumb Ass...... He is using "ignorant" as the fathers name....

Read his post Homey, it's a generalized statement referring to wrong/right compared to his doings.....dah

 

[bcp]

So BCP, if someone doesn't do as you would that would make them ignorant?

not at all.
see, I consider myself blessed to be able to afford to do all the things I do for my daughter. However, if someone else is tight on money, and maybe they cant afford the trips, or the big christmas or the nice birthday etc... that is not an indication of bad parenting.
The poor people will still be there for their children, the kids may not have much, but they do know that they have two loving parents that care for them. And that by itself is enough.

but, when someone runs off from their family and shows no concern for how that child is doing, then yes, THAT person is ignorant.

You dont have to have money, you dont have to have a fancy house, or the nicest car on the block, as long as you can guide your children, and let them know you love them.

when it comes to opinions, I have my opinions on gays, that opinion can change, I have my opinion on races, that opinion is good open for change, I have opinions on illegals, also open for change through constructive conversation.
But my opinion when it comes to raising and treating children with respect, and care is not open for discussion on my part, it will not change.
I firmly believe that 90% of how a person turns out as far as responsibility goes is directly related to how they were raised.
Children are to be cherished, and protected, they are not to be considered property that can be discarded.

 

[Black-Francis]

Read his post Homey, it's a generalized statement referring to wrong/right compared to his doings.....dah

I like it better when you call me Home Fry..... just sayin'.

 

[citizen_fear]

Yes!

Why won't you?

I dont think he is responsible enough to go away and do what he needs to do; got him a job and he quit after about a month because he didnt have a social life anymore..no other job lined up, just didnt want to work 3 hrs a day during the week. Should i be willing to put up 80K hoping he will do right? I dont think so. My recommendation was 2 yrs community college and if he does good then we will see about a major college in state but thats not whhat he wants, he wants WVA... sorry, not happening.

 

[citizen_fear]

I like it better when you call me Home Fry..... just sayin'.

My bad

 

[bcp]

To a point I agree but I divorced and have 3 kids that i do everything i can for WHICH includes rewards and punishment and preparing them for life as they get older,my youngest is 13. I have done everything I am obligated to do legally and morally but I have hit a sticking point with my ex and my son on college. Am I ignorant for telling him "NO" i wont send him away to college for 4 years?

lets look at this.
you are divoriced and have 3 kids that you do everything you can for.
Divorice happens, but you are still a part of the childrens lives doing what you can.
Are you ignorant? no. You are a good parent.

are you ignorant for telling him no you wont send him away to college?
No. I dont know your finances, or your reasons, and to be honest it does not matter.
what matters is that you are there for that conversation to take place. Im sure you have your reasons, and Im sure they have been explained, and Im sure the conversation wasnt, Im not sending you because I dont care.

If the kid wants to go to college, there are loans, there is financial help etc.. you are not keeping him from going, you are only forcing him to find his own way on this. Hell, it will most likely make him a stronger person when all is said and done.
bottom line? you continued to be in his life even with the divorce. My hat is off to you.

 

[meangirl]

I dont think he is responsible enough to go away and do what he needs to do; got him a job and he quit after about a month because he didnt have a social life anymore..no other job lined up, just didnt want to work 3 hrs a day during the week. Should i be willing to put up 80K hoping he will do right? I dont think so. My recommendation was 2 yrs community college and if he does good then we will see about a major college in state but thats not whhat he wants, he wants WVA... sorry, not happening.

Oh, that makes sense. I agree with you, big waste of $$ there. (at this time)

From your other post, I took it you were done with your "obligations" to this child. Sorry I misunderstood.

 

[citizen_fear]

not at all.
see, I consider myself blessed to be able to afford to do all the things I do for my daughter. However, if someone else is tight on money, and maybe they cant afford the trips, or the big christmas or the nice birthday etc... that is not an indication of bad parenting.
The poor people will still be there for their children, the kids may not have much, but they do know that they have two loving parents that care for them. And that by itself is enough.

but, when someone runs off from their family and shows no concern for how that child is doing, then yes, THAT person is ignorant.

You dont have to have money, you dont have to have a fancy house, or the nicest car on the block, as long as you can guide your children, and let them know you love them.

when it comes to opinions, I have my opinions on gays, that opinion can change, I have my opinion on races, that opinion is good open for change, I have opinions on illegals, also open for change through constructive conversation.
But my opinion when it comes to raising and treating children with respect, and care is not open for discussion on my part, it will not change.
I firmly believe that 90% of how a person turns out as far as responsibility goes is directly related to how they were raised.
Children are to be cherished, and protected, they are not to be considered property that can be discarded.

Thats cool bcp, I'm a little touchy about the college deal. i just dont have money like that to throw out there when I see where his head is. Smart kid, good kid but isnt mature enough yet in my opinion and when it's my obligation to pay for it, my opinion is the only one that matters

 

[bcp]

I dont think he is responsible enough to go away and do what he needs to do; got him a job and he quit after about a month because he didnt have a social life anymore..no other job lined up, just didnt want to work 3 hrs a day during the week. Should i be willing to put up 80K hoping he will do right? I dont think so. My recommendation was 2 yrs community college and if he does good then we will see about a major college in state but thats not whhat he wants, he wants WVA... sorry, not happening.

now I see your reasons.
I was your kid growing up. well not your kid, but basically the same initial attitude.
My dad handled it the same way.
everything worked out fine, as it will in your case.
I wouldnt spend the money on my daughters college dream either if she had that attitude.
Daughter will be going to University of Maryland for 4 years, then to Virginia Tech for four,, after that her next four are on her.
She doesnt know about the last four yet.

 

[citizen_fear]

Oh, that makes sense. I agree with you, big waste of $$ there. (at this time)

From your other post, I took it you were done with your "obligations" to this child. Sorry I misunderstood.

Not done with obligations as I bought him a car and paid his insurance for a year, he is on his own after that.

How pissed is the ex gonna be when she gets June CS check and it's cut by a 3rd.... almost scared to do it but he has been 18 for a while and now graduation comes next week.

 

[citizen_fear]

now I see your reasons.
I was your kid growing up. well not your kid, but basically the same initial attitude.
My dad handled it the same way.
everything worked out fine, as it will in your case.
I wouldnt spend the money on my daughters college dream either if she had that attitude.
Daughter will be going to University of Maryland for 4 years, then to Virginia Tech for four,, after that her next four are on her.
She doesnt know about the last four yet.

Want to adopt? Know a kid in need.......

 

[bcp]

Want to adopt? Know a kid in need.......

Um,, whats he want to be?
I might be able to broker a trade.
Skillet Girl is going for vetranarian.
She completes 8th grade in June. (all advanced courses right now)
She does whats called STEM program thats a science and technology thing July through August this summer. (college level transfers to VA tech)
She is in (mostly) college level courses starting next year. Her work credits she needs will be obtained working at the vets office that my sister works at.

Im not seeing how Im getting out of this.
so, whats your child want, is it less schooling? can I spend some of the college fund on a new Vette?