How would you like your son to marry this little #####?

[mAlice]

I agree with Catt... Life is to short, to be so self centered.

I call it self preservation.

 

[Kizzy]

I don't want to hear, years down the road, well it would have been nice to know so-and-so but my mother/father/whoever never gave us the chance.

 

[kwillia]

This is Thanksgiving week...call a loved one.

allllll.... Truer words have never been typed... Otter, answer your dayumed cell phone already, will ya...

 

[Kain99]

I call it self preservation.

There are times it is necessary.... Maybe Tonio just didn't communicate the whole story.

 

[mAlice]

There are times it is necessary.... Maybe Tonio just didn't communicate the whole story.

That's what I'm thinking, and there is no need to share his life story. People do what is best for themselves and their families.

 

[Dymphna]

You missed the point. We wanted them at the hospital, just not when we got there first thing in the morning, because we were nervous enough as new parents. And we didn't want them in the delivery room during the final stages of delivery. There was no excuse for my mother peeking into the delivery room.

I didn't miss the point. You've said other things about your strained relations with your family and I have no doubt there are plenty of issues there, but the fact they they were so excited over their grandchild that they went overboard is not worth being estranged. Worth giving them a talking to, but not worth being estranged.

When my first was born, I gave my husband explicit instructions that his snap-happy father and his camera were to be nowhere near me. See, the FIL has been know to forget proprieties when it comes to documenting history with his camera. I was also induced and we informed both sets of grandparents of the details, but since induction sometimes takes a while, (in my case over 30 hours) no one came to the hospital. Instead, my husband kept everyone informed by phone. The nursing staff was informed in advance about my stipulation concerning my FIL and when the grandparents did come, an hour or two before the baby was born, they asked my permission before allowing them into the labor room and then quickly shooed them out after a short visit. When we took a tour of the hospital, they informed us that they often have problems with all the relatives trying to get in. They told us that the parents shouldn't be concerned with herding the relatives out, that was the job of the hospital staff, just inform them who you specifically wanted to keep out, if need be, and they'd do the rest.

 

[migtig]

When I married the ex - I thought I was getting a great future MIL. Boy, was I wrong. The minute the date was set, she started railroading me over everything. My mother was dead, and this woman wanted to change our wedding party colors, our food, what time we got married, my dress, and on and on. She snuck behind my back and changed my wedding cake order. I finally had a moment where I said enough and went up to the hubby to be and said "this isn't my wedding, it's your mother's and I am not dealing with her anymore. You do it." He didn't want to either. But once I washed my hands of the wedding, I was a lot calmer about it. He didn't want to talk to her at all, and we wound up having to screen our phone calls from his mother. She would check herself into the hospital to get attention - the doctors would even say nothing was wrong with her, but she would do it and contact red cross and let them know she was in the hospital and "dying" and needed to speak with her son. My ex-sil was due to give birth, and the ex-mil checked herself in the hospital at the same time. I talked with the ex-sil once about the ex-mil and she said "tg she has someone new to harrass - the woman has made my life he** for the past 7 years." I used to have to tell my ex - you need to call your mother and we would actually fight about it. When we got divorced, he refused to tell his mother. The woman was a nightmare. After that experience, not the marriage but the mil, I swore I wouldn't marry ever again.

 

[Tonio]

That's what I'm thinking, and there is no need to share his life story. People do what is best for themselves and their families.

Thanks. That's the point I've been trying to get across. This has caused me an enormous amount of heartache. It sounds almost like what couples go through when they get divorced. And for those of you who are divorced, I'm not trying to belittle the pain you went through, or trying to say that mine is worse than yours.

 

[huntr1]

Look, I already said I was unnecessarily exaggerating. You got nasty with me, so I got nasty right back.

I got nasty? Can you PLEASE show me where I got nasty?

 

[Kain99]

I'm not trying to belittle the pain you went through, or trying to say that mine is worse than yours.

Not to change the subject but most people go around thinking that their pain is worse than everyone else's. It's human nature.

The older you get and the more people you talk to.... You find out that life kicks all of our azzes.

 

[Tonio]

I got nasty? Can you PLEASE show me where I got nasty?

I'd say calling me an idjit qualifies as nasty.

 

[happyappygirl]

FWIW....speaking from both sides....i would do what MY SON wanted me to do regarding HIS WIFE giving birth. If he wanted me there, I'd sure as he!! be there. If he wanted me outside the curtain...there i'd be.

My daughters both wanted me holding their hands (and legs, ) during the birth so i was. BUT i HATED the fact that one daughter's FIL was also IN the room...and discussing ABORTION with her midwife. I told Rottncop, and Aw shucks.....her FIL heard me! HOW inappropriate. He is into controversial topic discussions and felt what he was saying was "pertinent" needless to say my relationship with them is...ah...strained. But my relationship with my girls is fantastic. They gritch about their In laws, i listen

Vrai, a JOP wedding is hard for all the in-laws if they have long awaited a wedding...it's certainly not "the way it's suppose to go". My MIL took over and planned an entire wedding/reception when we were going to go to the JOP, and i let her. but my parents were in the middle of an ugly divorce and sure as he!! didn't want to plan a WEDDING much less pay for one. Our marriage has lasted almost 24 years none the less. What I would probably suggest...just to be sure i got to celebrate with them...would be to hold a huge reception rather than another wedding in Sept. That seems more appropriate to me. Would that make you feel a little better about it? They may only want to be married before the year ends...and this seemed to be the easiest route to take. Is this the son who is deployed? If so, their decision is somewhat understandable, and I'm sure it's in no way intended to hurt you. how could they...you're the board mommy.

 

[huntr1]

I'd say calling me an idjit qualifies as nasty.

Then you REALLY need to thicken your skin. I think I have called just about EVERYBODY on here an idjit at one point or another, because face it, EVERYBODY IS AN IDJIT atleast once in their life. Heck, I am an idjit on a regular basis as far as some people on here are concerned. But I really do think you are an idjit for thinking your mother would kidnap her grandkid from school just because she went overboard while excited about the birth of said grandkid.

 

[Oz]

This thread makes me wonder one thing. Would anyone want to have a 3-some with their wife and Mother-In-Law? Or how about your wife and your Sister-In-Law? OH! And, why hasn't Jerry Springer checked into this thread yet? (OK - I'm now wondering about 3 things...)



PS. My Answers are as follows: NO, Probably Not, and I don't know...

 

[huntr1]

This is directed at OZ's poll.

 

[Otter]

This thread makes me wonder one thing. Would anyone want to have a 3-some with their wife and Mother-In-Law? Or how about your wife and your Sister-In-Law? OH! And, why hasn't Jerry Springer checked into this thread yet? (OK - I'm now wondering about 3 things...)



PS. My Answers are as follows: NO, Probably Not, and I don't know...

There went lunch...

 

[CableChick]

There went lunch...

And breakfast!

 

[Tonio]

I think I have called just about EVERYBODY on here an idjit at one point or another, because face it, EVERYBODY IS AN IDJIT atleast once in their life.

So there was no need for me to take it personally?

 

[vraiblonde]

Okay, the situation has been resolved. Without any prompting from me or anyone else, they have decided to wait for the REAL big day instead of cheating themselves (the DIL in particular) out of the thrill of walking down the aisle to your husband.

Got the call about a half hour ago. He started off with and then was like, "What's wrong? You're being quiet?" So I told him that I was hurt and disappointed and he replied they had changed their minds and were going to wait. I told him he could have saved me some stress by communicating in whole, not just bits and pieces. Communication is key to a successful marriage and it would behoove him to practice and get good at it it before he torments my DIL with his silliness.

Now I'm hoping there will be a way that Jess can get to Allentown and I can get the girls up there so they can all do their bridesmaid fittings together.

Hooray!!!

 

[Oz]

This is directed at OZ's pole.

HEY! I said NO to both of those questions!