Late bloomers
- Thread starter vraiblonde
- Start date
sockgirl77
Well-Known Member
You're right. I have dealt with this a few times, never again. I'm the most lowkey baby momma in the world. I give my ex and his gf no grief. I really do not give a flying #### what goes on in their world as long as it does not affect my daughter. The other ex...well he can rot in hell.
oh no you don't! 
No, it's absolutely the kid. And men "shunned" me all the time when I was a single parent because they didn't want to accommodate children or run the risk of it getting serious and now they have a ready made family. I appreciated their candor.
If more people gave some thought to what they want in a partner, then dated accordingly, the world would be a better place.
MMDad
Lem Putt
Okay. I got the impression that the crazy ex was the problem. I understand not wanting to become Mommy again, especially now that you have grandkids to spoil rotten.
It would be nice if people could be more honest about their issues and their baggage. It could save a lot of grief, especially for the kids who get caught in the middle.
I had a women, refuse to date me in the 1990s because of something similar,
at that time I had 4 children
2 from the 1st marriage
2 gf each had a child
she told me I had TOO MANY women in my life for her ....
Larry Gude
Strung Out
People who give it a lot of thought end up divorced all the time. People who barely know one another just 'click' and are together for life. Were that it was so simple.
sockgirl77
Well-Known Member
learn from that mistake ....... Mrs Right, not Rightnow
I prefer Mr. Rightforme. He doesn't have to be right for anyone else.
Some guys are just retarded when it comes to single mothers. Case in point; I started to date a guy (his kids were grown) for about a month or so. My daughter keeps me pretty busy with all of her activities, etc. as well as my own. My time is limited. Then my ex died. Then the guy had the audacity to complain that I didn't have enough time for him! At that time, it was critical that I be there for my daughter at ALL times. She is my #1 priority. I immediately kicked that efftard to the curb.
How is it shunning if you have a preference for a certan type of lifestyle? People are certainly entitled to that. There's no way in heck I would want to raise s toddler. Conversely, not everyone would want to become involved with and then take on a relationship with a person who has a disabled child- no matter what the age.
I think it's good when people know and acknowledge that they do or do not want in a relationship.
Larry Gude
Strung Out
I should have read ahead!
MMDad
Lem Putt
If the world were only black and white. From growing up with my brother, I have a better understanding of the impacts of a disabled child. If I were in the market and someone with a disabled child came along, I couldn't give a yes or no answer based solely on that. Some wouldn't be a problem, but some would be a deal killer.
I dated someone with two kids long ago. When I called it off, she blamed it on her kids when in fact I didn't mind her kids. I just didn't like her.
The wants in a relationship are usually just that - wants. They are rarely absolutes that can be weeded out easily. Smoking would be one of my absolutes, but even that I could ease off of if she was a considerate smoker.
We all learn that we have to compromise. I know that my wife will never be a 25 YO hot body with a great job that pays well. Unfortunately, I also know that if I dump her it will cost me a lot of money, pain, and grief, and I'll never find that 25 YO I want. For some strange reason guys my age who aren't rich are not a hot commodity for hot girls.
Mine are. I have guys I go out with and like okay, but we're clear that it won't be going any further because of _____. My deal-breaker list is quite long for someone with whom I'd get serious. But I'm in a unique position.
Misfit
Lawful neutral
MMDad
Lem Putt
Good for you. Was he childless? I can't imagine any parent not understanding that the kids come first.
It would have been nice if my mom had been like you. When I was 12 her boyfriend gave her an ultimatum. She picked me up from school and stuck me on a plane to go live with my dad and his bitch wife.
Shhhhh...we burned the pics. Didn't happen.