Late bloomers

[Misfit]

Good for you. Was he childless? I can't imagine any parent not understanding that the kids come first.

It would have been nice if my mom had been like you. When I was 12 her boyfriend gave her an ultimatum. She picked me up from school and stuck me on a plane to go live with my dad and his bitch wife.

:kicksrocks: You got to ride on a plane.

 

[MMDad]

But I'm in a unique position.

You are. You're pretty independent, so that emotional dependency isn't a factor. You also don't have a lot of the needs that make some people make stupid decisions.

But it all does come down to a cost/benefit analysis. What are you willing to give up and what do you want to get? At this point in your life I can understand not wanting to give up certain things.

 

[vraiblonde]

It would have been nice if my mom had been like you. When I was 12 her boyfriend gave her an ultimatum. She picked me up from school and stuck me on a plane to go live with my dad and his bitch wife.

That is something that is completely outside my ability to comprehend and why I have a strong bias against women who lose or voluntarily relinquish custody of their children. There may be instances where it's truly in the best interest of the children to live with their dad, and Mom is being mature and loving by doing so. But most of the time it's because the egg donor is a POS who doesn't want kiddos getting in the way of her partying and playing with #### buddies.

 

[MMDad]

That is something that is completely outside my ability to comprehend and why I have a strong bias against women who lose or voluntarily relinquish custody of their children. There may be instances where it's truly in the best interest of the children to live with their dad, and Mom is being mature and loving by doing so. But most of the time it's because the egg donor is a POS who doesn't want kiddos getting in the way of her partying and playing with #### buddies.

You've met my mom?

 

[vraiblonde]

You've met my mom?

I *have* your mom.

Or had, I should say, since I no longer speak to her.

 

[MMDad]

I *have* your mom.

Or had, I should say, since I no longer speak to her.

Mine doesn't speak to me. That's even better.

 

[Bann]

If the world were only black and white. From growing up with my brother, I have a better understanding of the impacts of a disabled child. If I were in the market and someone with a disabled child came along, I couldn't give a yes or no answer based solely on that. Some wouldn't be a problem, but some would be a deal killer.

I dated someone with two kids long ago. When I called it off, she blamed it on her kids when in fact I didn't mind her kids. I just didn't like her.

The wants in a relationship are usually just that - wants. They are rarely absolutes that can be weeded out easily. Smoking would be one of my absolutes, but even that I could ease off of if she was a considerate smoker.

We all learn that we have to compromise. I know that my wife will never be a 25 YO hot body with a great job that pays well. Unfortunately, I also know that if I dump her it will cost me a lot of money, pain, and grief, and I'll never find that 25 YO I want. For some strange reason guys my age who aren't rich are not a hot commodity for hot girls.

For some reason?! Wouldn't be because you're married?

Compromise goes both ways in an already established relationship. Hawtness is as hawtness does, so to speak.

However, in the dating realm, wanting what you want is the way it should be. Why should it not?

 

[RareBreed]

That is something that is completely outside my ability to comprehend and why I have a strong bias against women who lose or voluntarily relinquish custody of their children. There may be instances where it's truly in the best interest of the children to live with their dad, and Mom is being mature and loving by doing so. But most of the time it's because the egg donor is a POS who doesn't want kiddos getting in the way of her partying and playing with #### buddies.

My kids have a friend whose mom left him as a baby in the care of his dad. Unfortunately, his dad is a POS who drinks all day and hasn't had a job in years. They live in the grandmother's little house that only has one bedroom.

 

[RoseRed]

Good for you. Was he childless? I can't imagine any parent not understanding that the kids come first.

It would have been nice if my mom had been like you. When I was 12 her boyfriend gave her an ultimatum. She picked me up from school and stuck me on a plane to go live with my dad and his bitch wife.

Thanks. He has two grown children, no longer living at home.

Sorry about your mom, that sucks. I could never, ever kick my kid to the side for some guy.

Signed,

Perpetually single

 

[Misfit]

I *have* your mom.

If Lance had a dime for every time he's said that from a payphone.

 

[vraiblonde]

My kids have a friend whose mom left him as a baby in the care of his dad. Unfortunately, his dad is a POS who drinks all day and hasn't had a job in years. They live in the grandmother's little house that only has one bedroom.

Now think about that: not only did this woman abandon her child, but she abandoned him to someone she knew wouldn't take care of him.

I mean...WTH?

 

[MMDad]

However, in the dating realm, wanting what you want is the way it should be. Why should it not?

I just see too many who hold out for the perfect person and end up never finding her. I agree that we shouldn't budge on the deal killers, but not compromising on the lesser issues starts to become counter-productive.

 

[vraiblonde]

I just see too many who hold out for the perfect person and end up never finding her. I agree that we shouldn't budge on the deal killers, but not compromising on the lesser issues starts to become counter-productive.

That's the way it goes. :shrug:

I'd rather be mate-less than have to put up with someone who annoys me. This way I can just date annoying people, then go back home.

 

[RoseRed]

I just see too many who hold out for the perfect person and end up never finding her. I agree that we shouldn't budge on the deal killers, but not compromising on the lesser issues starts to become counter-productive.

I'm not holding out. I just don't even bother. Besides, if I did end up with a relationship, I wouldn't know how to act.

 

[Larry Gude]

I just see too many who hold out for the perfect person and end up never finding her. I agree that we shouldn't budge on the deal killers, but not compromising on the lesser issues starts to become counter-productive.

That would depend on the goal of the relationship, wouldn't it? Anyone 'holding out' for 'perfect' would probably readily agree 'perfect' is impossible when we're talking about people and then agree that they aren't 'holding out' for anything. They're not in a relationship because they don't wanna be. Shouldn't we be happy for them instead of seeking some sort of rationale they they are 'wrong' or 'missing out'?

:shrug:

 

[Pete]

That's the way it goes. :shrug:

I'd rather be mate-less than have to put up with someone who annoys me. This way I can just date annoying people, then go back home.

No joy like being hooked up with the perfect one for you. No misery like being hooked up with the wrong one.

 

[MMDad]

That would depend on the goal of the relationship, wouldn't it? Anyone 'holding out' for 'perfect' would probably readily agree 'perfect' is impossible when we're talking about people and then agree that they aren't 'holding out' for anything. They're not in a relationship because they don't wanna be. Shouldn't we be happy for them instead of seeking some sort of rationale they they are 'wrong' or 'missing out'?

:shrug:

You are always looking for the good in people.

If you knew these miserable SOB's you would not be happy for them since they are not happy for themselves. Do you know anyone who is pathetically single? They want their perfect woman, but they have nothing to offer. When they do approach a woman who is way out of their league and shot down, they lash out at how shallow and evil all women are. They guarantee rejection with their attitude, then they use that rejection to justify their attitude.

My brother is one of them. His "girlfriends" work on a stage with a pole. They use him and bleed him dry, then bail when he stops being the sugar daddy. Yet he keeps going back for more rejection. It's sick. But he'll be 50 next month, and he'll never change.

 

[MMDad]

That's the way it goes. :shrug:

I'd rather be mate-less than have to put up with someone who annoys me. This way I can just date annoying people, then go back home.

Poor

 

[MMDad]

No joy like being hooked up with the perfect one for you. No misery like finding out she's the wrong one.

 

[vraiblonde]

My brother is one of them. His "girlfriends" work on a stage with a pole. They use him and bleed him dry, then bail when he stops being the sugar daddy. Yet he keeps going back for more rejection. It's sick. But he'll be 50 next month, and he'll never change.

Anyone besides me read this and think "Yeah...jealous..."?

Maybe that's what he wants - meaningless relationships with random strippers. It takes a lot of effort being in a committed relationship and having to concern yourself with someone else's needs. I can totally see how someone would want an easier way to get laid.