Batman
LostAngel said:
Umm. . . I haven't made any claims on my daughters father - other than facts that I've seen online (for a service he pays for) which are backed up by voice messages left on his phone, the fact that he can't afford our car payment by himself (do I really need to provide detail on that one?), and that his current living environment isn't healthy (with 3 alcoholics - he does not drink).

Well messages over the Internet website and messages on a phone are questionable and not really proof. Some people try to break up others by pretending lies. They must have left those messages where you could find them and the Internet is not a secret affair. And if he is living away from you with three (3) alcoholics and he does not drink then they are pushing the crap onto your man and he is in a tough situation.
Why not talk to a Priest or a Minister instead of a divorce lawyer? Why not talk to his family? because families cares. Why not ask the father of your daughter to give you an explanation because some excuses are true.
He might well give it all up if you would take him back.
The people telling you to run after a divorce are no friend to you nor to your daughter that needs her dad.
LostAngel said:
While I understand your position on protecting the family unit - I think there's something you're missing in the way of teaching my daughter to be stronger than that - and to be happy. You are suggesting that I try and make a marriage of infidelity work - what message is that sending? And don't you think my unhappiness will undoubtedly reflect in her attitude?? I do.

The children is far smarter then we give them credit for and children do adjust.
Look at President Clinton and Hillary Clinton that saved their marriage because the adultery was by that nasty woman adulterer and today the moral majority see Hillary as doing the right thing by saving her marriage and she protected her family.
That is what doing right looks like and it works.
LostAngel said:
I'm not taking my daughter from her father - her father has already taken himself from her. I have an open door policy with him where he can come by to visit whenever he chooses - yet he chooses not to. I've never told him that he could not pick her up from daycare - yet he makes no attempts to do so even though he drives by every day on his way home from work. If you're suggesting that this is me keeping her from him. . . you are dead wrong. I recognize that I chose this man to be the father of my child and would not deny him rights - I just don't feel that her staying for extended periods with him where he's currently living is a good idea.

I do not like the sound of where the dad is staying either and since he does not drink then he most certainly does not like it either. If he can not afford the car payment and can not afford better rent then he is not doing much cheating because affairs cost money.
Why not get both you and him to visit a Priest or Minister as they are truely practicle and you do not have to be religious or big time believers as the Churches are very understanding as we all live in this ugly world too.
It is always worth the effort to give it another chance because otherwise the family is broken and ruined.
