Question for the men...

[sleuth]

And I don't know any healthy whole relationship where the woman is submissive - except where the couples play s&m games. Otherwise, if the relationship is healthy - she is a partner, an equal. Your submissive crap is crap. Believe whatever ya want - I don't care - but be careful some woman doesn't slam ya with a baseball bat when you order her to submit.

BTW, any man thinking I need to submit to his will if I am not playing at S&M, is extremely unattractive to me. JMO

I would never order anyone to "submit". As I posted earlier, the command was from God to the wife, not from the husband to the wife. Submission is freely given, because God gives women "free will" to listen to his command or not.

I guess no one even bothered to read what I posted, they just saw the word "submit" and immediately assumed I was some kind of male chauvinist tyrant wife abuser.

 

[BuddyLee]

And I don't know any healthy whole relationship where the woman is submissive - except where the couples play s&m games. Otherwise, if the relationship is healthy - she is a partner, an equal. Your submissive crap is crap. Believe whatever ya want - I don't care - but be careful some woman doesn't slam ya with a baseball bat when you order her to submit.

BTW, any man thinking I need to submit to his will if I am not playing at S&M, is extremely unattractive to me. JMO

I'm wondering Slueth, is this how your relationship works?

 

[migtig]

I would never order anyone to "submit". As I posted earlier, the command was from God to the wife, not from the husband to the wife. Submission is freely given, because God gives women "free will" to listen to his command or not.

I guess no one even bothered to read what I posted, they just saw the word "submit" and immediately assumed I was some kind of male chauvinist tyrant wife abuser.

I read it and it sounds like this:
I am a man. You are a woman. Get naked and do what I tell you cause I am a man. I am a sinful man so I gotta love you. You is a sinful woman so ya gotta lay there and take it.
Really. It's the funniest bag of crap I have ever read. Offensive as heck, but funny.

 

[cattitude]

I've been planning to pick up the book "His Needs, Her Needs" by a Dr. William Harley (I think).

You know, Sleuth, a few years ago, I read that site alot. Dr. Harley is very big on promoting men and women EQUALLY learning about appreciating each other...love banks, etc. He helps couples understand the differences in men and women and how the needs are different of each. You make it sound as if he emphasizes that woman are supposed to look good for the men. But he makes a point to say that BOTH should take care of themselves and be presentable, etc. to each.

What does it say about what the men should do to look appealing to the woman? Did you happen to read that part?

Granted I haven't read it in a long time, but I don't think his philosophy has changed.

 

[sleuth]

I'm wondering Slueth, is this how your relationship works?

Are you kidding me? If I told my GF "you must submit to me" she'd hit me upside the head with a frying pan.

But you know what? I don't have to tell her.
And I've never made a decision that affects both of us without consulting her and weighing her opinion.

She knows this, and when I make a decision, she follows my lead.

 

[jazz lady]

And those are exactly the kinds I was talking about when I posted about the "curse".

Then I am cursed and very thankful for it.

 

[sleuth]

You know, Sleuth, a few years ago, I read that site alot. Dr. Harley is very big on promoting men and women EQUALLY learning about appreciating each other...love banks, etc. He helps couples understand the differences in men and women and how the needs are different of each. You make it sound as if he emphasizes that woman are supposed to look good for the men. But he makes a point to say that BOTH should take care of themselves and be presentable, etc. to each.

What does it say about what the men should do to look appealing to the woman? Did you happen to read that part?

Granted I haven't read it in a long time, but I don't think his philosophy has changed.

I haven't read the book yet. I just heard a lecture on it a few days ago and I've ordered the book.

But as I said in an earlier post, I think a man should try to look good for his wife.
I just said that according to what I know about the book, her husband's physical attractiveness isn't in her top 5 needs.

 

[BuddyLee]

Are you kidding me? If I told my GF "you must submit to me" she'd hit me upside the head with a frying pan.

But you know what? I don't have to tell her.
And I've never made a decision that affects both of us without consulting her and weighing her opinion.

She knows this, and when I make a decision, she follows my lead.

That's what I thought. So if you feel so strongly about this and almost everything within the bible then why don't you feel strong enough as to implement this into your very own relationship?

 

[DoWhat]

Where is Dr. Phil when you need him?

 

[sleuth]

I read it and it sounds like this:
I am a man. You are a woman. Get naked and do what I tell you cause I am a man. I am a sinful man so I gotta love you. You is a sinful woman so ya gotta lay there and take it.
Really. It's the funniest bag of crap I have ever read. Offensive as heck, but funny.

:justshakeshishead: That isn't the point I was trying to make it all.

 

[crabcake]

I just said that according to what I know about the book, her husband's physical attractiveness isn't in her top 5 needs.

Is it in his?

 

[Ken King]

Are you kidding me? If I told my GF "you must submit to me" she'd hit me upside the head with a frying pan.

But you know what? I don't have to tell her.
And I've never made a decision that affects both of us without consulting her and weighing her opinion.

She knows this, and when I make a decision, she follows my lead.

Keeping her in the kitchen, huh?

 

[migtig]

:justshakeshishead: That isn't the point I was trying to make it all.

Well now I think ya see why so many women was upset.

 

[jazz lady]

That's what I thought. So if you feel so strongly about this and almost everything within the bible then why don't you feel strong enough as to implement this into your very own relationship?

Exactly! I was just getting ready to say the same thing. Why would you purport to believe one thing and actually do another in real life?

 

[cattitude]

After reading this thread I have have to shout:

Otter darlin, I know you're out there. I am SOOOOOOOOO glad we have each other and that whatever we're doing, it's working.

 

[sleuth]

That's what I thought. So if you feel so strongly about this and almost everything within the bible then why don't you feel strong enough as to implement this into your very own relationship?

That's just it, I *do* implement it in my relationship.
Just because the Bible tells me that I'm supposed to be the head of the household doesn't mean that I can twist this responsibility into some kind of domineering tyranny.

Just because the Bible says that a wife must follow her husband doesn't mean that she doesn't get to influence her husband's choices. That's in there too. And it also doesn't say that she doesn't get to make any choices of her own. But it does say that the man is the head of the family, and as head of the family he is only supposed to make decisions that are good for the family. How could he make a good decision without first finding out what his family, and most especially his wife, feels.

 

[sleuth]

Is it in his?

A Physically attractive wife, according to Dr. Harley, is the number 3 top need for husbands. I didn't write it. I just reported it. :shrug:

 

[RoseRed]

Are you kidding me? If I told my GF "you must submit to me" she'd hit me upside the head with a frying pan.

But you know what? I don't have to tell her.
And I've never made a decision that affects both of us without consulting her and weighing her opinion.

She knows this, and when I make a decision, she follows my lead.

Even if she doesn't agree?

 

[sleuth]

Keeping her in the kitchen, huh?

Pot-stirrer. What's that smiley code again?

 

[RoseRed]

After reading this thread I have have to shout:

Otter darlin, I know you're out there. I am SOOOOOOOOO glad we have each other and that whatever we're doing, it's working.