Question for the men...

[Ken King]

Pot-stirrer. What's that smiley code again?

I'm not the one domenating my woman in the name of the Bible.

Oh yeah, how long has your longest relationship lasted? Have you had a full time live in female partner?

 

[pixiegirl]

After reading this thread I have have to shout:

Otter darlin, I know you're out there. I am SOOOOOOOOO glad we have each other and that whatever we're doing, it's working.

You're being awfully nice.... What you got your eye on?

 

[sleuth]

Even if she doesn't agree?

Believe me, if she didn't agree, I would only make the choice she didn't agree with if I felt so strongly, after prayer and meditation on the subject, that it was in our best interest.

And truth is... even if she didn't agree... well the answer is "I don't know". I've never had to make such a difficult decision where I couldn't persuade her that it was a good idea. But... based on what she has said to me, and her beliefs, I think so.

 

[DoWhat]

Oh yeah, how long has your longest relationship lasted? Have you had a full time live in female partner?

 

[sleuth]

I'm not the one domenating my woman in the name of the Bible.

Oh yeah, how long has your longest relationship lasted? Have you had a full time live in female partner?

:shrug: 2 years this month.
And no, I haven't.

But then, I never claimed to be an expert.
I'm only sharing an opinion.

 

[cattitude]

You're being awfully nice.... What you got your eye on?

Mothers do not share that with their daughters.

 

[BuddyLee]

Mothers do not share that with their daughters.

It's ok, you can tell her about us.

 

[pixiegirl]

Mothers do not share that with their daughters.

Ekkkk!

 

[RoseRed]

Believe me, if she didn't agree, I would only make the choice she didn't agree with if I felt so strongly, after prayer and meditation on the subject, that it was in our best interest.

And truth is... even if she didn't agree... well the answer is "I don't know". I've never had to make such a difficult decision where I couldn't persuade her that it was a good idea. But... based on what she has said to me, and her beliefs, I think so.

What if she still does not agree. Is she allowed to pursude you to follow her belief, even if you don't agree with it?

 

[cattitude]

It's ok, you can tell her about us.

You tell your mom first, if she's okay with it, I'll tell Pixie.

 

[sleuth]

What if she still does not agree. Is she allowed to pursude you to follow her belief, even if you don't agree with it?

She can persuade all she wants. And if she's successful at changing my mind, then that's ok.
Ultimately, the final decision rests with me.

But make no mistake. If I make a decision that I know will make her unhappy, I do it at my own peril. And if I make a decision that leads her into sin, I do it at my own peril. It would have to be a pretty dang bulletproof reason if I were to make a decision that I thought would make her unhappy.

If it's not in the Bible it should be, but actually I think there is something in there that says the wife sets the tone of the home. In today's language, "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

Really, the only decision I can think of right now that would be that big would be moving for a new job. I'm sure there's others, but that's the one that sticks out to me.

 

[BuddyLee]

She can persuade all she wants. And if she's successful at changing my mind, then that's ok.
Ultimately, the final decision rests with me.

But make no mistake. If I make a decision that I know will make her unhappy, I do it at my own peril. And if I make a decision that leads her into sin, I do it at my own peril. It would have to be a pretty dang bulletproof reason if I were to make a decision that I thought would make her unhappy.

If it's not in the Bible it should be, but actually I think there is something in there that says the wife sets the tone of the home. In today's language, "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

What about her kid, does any decision with him/her rest with you too? What about if she wants out of the relationship, does she need your permission with that too?

Just wondering...

 

[Otter]

You're being awfully nice.... What you got your eye on?

Exactly!!

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v203/otterzzz/suspicious.gif">

 

[crabcake]

A Physically attractive wife, according to Dr. Harley, is the number 3 top need for husbands. I didn't write it. I just reported it. :shrug:

Well that's pretty messed up! I can see certain needs differing for men and women, but something like "looks" being in his top 5 but not hers ...

If she's 'all that' she's probably gonna be too much woman for the man that adheres to guidelines like that and tell him to pound sand. JMO.

 

[RoseRed]

She can persuade all she wants. And if she's successful at changing my mind, then that's ok.
Ultimately, the final decision rests with me.

But make no mistake. If I make a decision that I know will make her unhappy, I do it at my own peril. And if I make a decision that leads her into sin, I do it at my own peril. It would have to be a pretty dang bulletproof reason if I were to make a decision that I thought would make her unhappy.

If it's not in the Bible it should be, but actually I think there is something in there that says the wife sets the tone of the home. In today's language, "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

Really, the only decision I can think of right now that would be that big would be moving for a new job. I'm sure there's others, but that's the one that sticks out to me.

I have nothing more to say except UFB.

 

[ylexot]

Well that's pretty messed up! I can see certain needs differing for men and women, but something like "looks" being in his top 5 but not hers ...

If she's 'all that' she's probably gonna be too much woman for the man that adheres to guidelines like that and tell him to pound sand. JMO.

Psst...they're not guidelines. They're results of research.

 

[mAlice]

the final decision rests with me.

 

[jazz lady]

She can persuade all she wants. And if she's successful at changing my mind, then that's ok.
Ultimately, the final decision rests with me.

And that just blows my mind that ANYONE would let somebody make a decision for them that affects them regardless of their opinion on the subject. Absolutely amazing. I just can't get past that.

But make no mistake. If I make a decision that I know will make her unhappy, I do it at my own peril. And if I make a decision that leads her into sin, I do it at my own peril. It would have to be a pretty dang bulletproof reason if I were to make a decision that I thought would make her unhappy.

You don't always know at the time of making a decision if it WILL make somebody unhappy. Too many people get trapped into the mindset of "don't rock the boat" and just go along with the flow, never voicing their opinion or fighting hard enough for what they believe is right or what THEY want.

If it's not in the Bible it should be, but actually I think there is something in there that says the wife sets the tone of the home. In today's language, "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

And "if daddy ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" should be, too. It goes BOTH ways.

 

[cattitude]

Ultimately, the final decision rests with me.

Good luck, Sleuthy.

You can talk all you want about your "opinions" on relationships, but until you sleep with, eat with, pee with, puke with, laugh with, clean house with and whatever else you do in a real relationship, your opinions ain't worth crap. You cannot fully know a person, how you both will react to life until you LIVE with them.

 

[sleuth]

What about her kid, does any decision with him/her rest with you too? What about if she wants out of the relationship, does she need your permission with that too?

Just wondering...

Your first question... As head of the household, yes it does.
Of course, legally, the ex-husband has some say in life-or-death decisions.

But I think you're missing the point. As head the household, my responsibility is the welfare of the family. If I determine that a decision I make is somehow going to cause damage to the family, such as... Momma or kid ain't happy and this will really affect her ability to be happy... then I don't make that decision.

Your second question... well... all bets are off if it ever comes to that. If she no longer wants to be my wife, then I guess she's not bound to do anything I say, is she.