Question for the men...
- Thread starter CityGrl
- Start date
Oz
You're all F'in Mad...
What goes on at Jazz's STAYS at Jazz's. 
SilverIntrepid
LxM
I'm not 30 yet. (Only 29 yrs old) 
I look for brains, beauty, and other minor things. A woman who takes care of herself, and will not rely on me for everything. I despise freeloaders. I work hard for my $.
I look for brains, beauty, and other minor things. A woman who takes care of herself, and will not rely on me for everything. I despise freeloaders. I work hard for my $.
SamSpade
Well-Known Member
Having recently lost over 140 pounds, I can fairly say - *everybody* discriminates against people who are overweight. Women are no exception. The difference in the way I'm treated - by *strangers* - is like night and day.CityGrl said:Here's my question: are men (even in their mid-30s) so superficial that looks mean EVERYTHING? You figure that single men in their 30s are probably looking for the same thing as my friend (commitment, settling down) and realize that the choices are thinning out (choice word, huh?) as they get older. I'm not saying that the guy has to settle on a "fatty," but why not give someone like my friend a "second glance" before passing her up just because she is overweight?...
I also spent the better part of a year dating women online, while overweight. I do know that I lost out on a lot of second dates because of my weight, even though I never made the slightest effort to hide that fact - I usually made it very clear from the beginning.
That being the case, I had no problem dating women who weren't "slim" - some of them I liked a lot - I married one of them.
But I know that some of my attributes kept me out of some women's online filters. For one thing, I'm in my forties - and many women wouldn't date a man that old.
And that's the thing about online dating. When you turn up a search, you get hundreds of hits - so you "filter". For me, I wanted children, so it wasn't really worthwhile to pursue women who didn't LIKE them. I'm also moderately conservative, and I know from experience that I'd never get along with a Bush-bashing ultra-liberal. So I set filters for my search.
I'm sure my weight kept me out of many women's searches. That's life. Their loss. But I'm not bothered much by it - I did my own filtering.
Women online frequently have a much tougher job, than men. True, I had to write to about thirty women *A NIGHT* just to get a reply. But many of the women I met said their mailboxes were chock full of married guys looking for easy action, weirdos that made no sense at all, Mohammed from Oman looking for wife #6, and so on. It was depressing - you got lots of attention, but it was unwanted. So, they set controls to lock some men out. On occasion, that would unwittingly include guys like me.
It all depends. For me, one of the biggest draws was someone who was CLOSE BY - I'd had enough of women who lived an hour or more away. Made it impossible to see them all that often. For some women, weight didn't matter, because it didn't seem to be symptomatic of something ELSE - like laziness, poor hygiene, horrid self-image - these things are turn-offs at ANY weight.Am I way off here?
But as I said before - there are search criteria that might eliminate your friend before anyone even sees her picture.
However, I *ABSOLUTELY* know from first-hand experience, being both morbidly obese and now - women are every bit as guilty of this, and far less likely to own up to it.
morganj614
New Member
elaine said:
Did you read the Pee Pee thread?
morganj614
New Member
rack'm said:I don't read any thread started by Tigard......
Sometimes I just have to read them
this one is skippable.
Wickedwrench
Stubborn and opinionated
Note that you said "dated", as in past tense. You are learning Buddy.BuddyLee said:
