Question for the men...
- Thread starter CityGrl
- Start date
crabcake
But wait, there's more...
we go out to a party somewhereToxick said:
the moment we walk in the door
we both stop and everybody stares
she donno what they're starin for
she dont know she is beautiful
she dont know she is beautiful
she dont know she is beautiful
though time and time i've told her so
there she goes
just walkin down the street
and someone lets a whistle out
a girl like her she just cant see
what the fuss is all about
she dont know she is beautiful
she dont know she is beautiful
she dont know she is beautiful
though time and time i've told her so
mornin comes and her hairs all a mess
thats when she thinks she looks the worst
its times like this she donno why
i cant take my eyes off her
though time and time i've told her so
she dont know she is beautiful
she dont know she is beautiful
she dont know she is beautiful
though time and time i've told her so
rack'm
Jaded
crabcake said:we go out to a party somewhere
the moment we walk in the door
we both stop and everybody stares
she donno what they're starin for
she dont know she is beautiful
she dont know she is beautiful
she dont know she is beautiful
though time and time i've told her so
there she goes
just walkin down the street
and someone lets a whistle out
a girl like her she just cant see
what the fuss is all about
she dont know she is beautiful
she dont know she is beautiful
she dont know she is beautiful
though time and time i've told her so
mornin comes and her hairs all a mess
thats when she thinks she looks the worst
its times like this she donno why
i cant take my eyes off her
though time and time i've told her so
she dont know she is beautiful
she dont know she is beautiful
she dont know she is beautiful
though time and time i've told her so
Wrong tread....
TY 
sleuth
Livin' Like Thanksgivin'
Oz said:
It's true. Men are genetically programmed to like younger, healthy-looking women. It's how we were made to survive.
Examples:
Silky smooth hair is an indication of no parasites, good nutrition, and cleanliness.
Smooth skin, large eyes, and full lips is indicative of youthfulness, energy, and therefore, good health.
Ample, firm breasts indicate the ability to breast-feed a child.
Round, full hips indicate child-bearing ability. I once saw a study where a bunch of pictures were shown to a group of men. Only the waist/hip region was shown - no faces, no breasts, no legs. The men were to choose the ideal woman for them. Almost exclusively they found that the women chosen as idea were found to have a waist-to-hip ratio of around 0.7.
Long shapely legs are indicative of the ability to "mate" and the ability to protect children (able to run well).
You could go over a lot more, but these are the things that men were "genetically" programmed to be attracted to. There's always exceptions to these rules, of course, but I believe current theory teaches these exceptions have more to do with "nurture" versus "nature".
sleuth
Livin' Like Thanksgivin'
I've been planning to pick up the book "His Needs, Her Needs" by a Dr. William Harley (I think).
I've heard preachers and psychologists lecture on the subject, but Harley, who was a marriage counselor, counseled thousands of couples, and he learned that the reason men and women were unhappy in their marriage was because their needs were not being met.
When he asked his male and female subjects to list and prioritize their needs, he found that they were radically different, and he came to the conclusion that it was no wonder these marriage partners had so much trouble - they didn't know how to please their mate!
Here's a little bit about it: http://www.bettermarriageskc.org/needs.htm
On the subject of physical attractiveness, men identify "sexual fulfillment" and "physical attraction" as their #1 and #3 most important needs, respectively. But it's not the kind of physical attraction you're thinking of.
Besides looking like a supermodel, which almost no women can measure up to, there are some simple things you can do to make yourself attractive to men.
1. Be clean and well groomed. Smell nice. This goes a long way.
2. Dress in clothing that your man likes. What are his favorite colors? Does he find certain clothing types more attractive on you?
3. Learn how to use makeup to accentuate your best features.
4. Smile. With healthy teeth, of course (see my previous post)
5. Throw away the flannel pajamas. Even a silky robe is more attractive to your man. And he's theoretically the only one who sees your pajamas. He is the only person you have to focus on.
Here's a little bit from that link.
I've heard preachers and psychologists lecture on the subject, but Harley, who was a marriage counselor, counseled thousands of couples, and he learned that the reason men and women were unhappy in their marriage was because their needs were not being met.
When he asked his male and female subjects to list and prioritize their needs, he found that they were radically different, and he came to the conclusion that it was no wonder these marriage partners had so much trouble - they didn't know how to please their mate!
Here's a little bit about it: http://www.bettermarriageskc.org/needs.htm
On the subject of physical attractiveness, men identify "sexual fulfillment" and "physical attraction" as their #1 and #3 most important needs, respectively. But it's not the kind of physical attraction you're thinking of.
Besides looking like a supermodel, which almost no women can measure up to, there are some simple things you can do to make yourself attractive to men.
1. Be clean and well groomed. Smell nice. This goes a long way.
2. Dress in clothing that your man likes. What are his favorite colors? Does he find certain clothing types more attractive on you?
3. Learn how to use makeup to accentuate your best features.
4. Smile. With healthy teeth, of course (see my previous post)
5. Throw away the flannel pajamas. Even a silky robe is more attractive to your man. And he's theoretically the only one who sees your pajamas. He is the only person you have to focus on.
Here's a little bit from that link.
B
Bruzilla
Guest
Here's my take, based on 45 years of dealing with the subject, and still being happily married after 22 years.
The answer to the question regarding men and looks is yes and no. Men will always initially be attracted to woman based on her looks, but this is not the same as saying a man will fall in love with a woman, or want to be with a woman, because of her looks. Many ladies get upset when they catch their guy looking at some hot young thing across the way, but they don't realize that the thought of the woman is usually there and gone in a few seconds. The only reason most men even think twice about some babe they see is because their wife/girlfriend made a big deal about his looking at her.
There have been many times in my life when I've met a woman who I initially thought was unattractive (and I do think that every guy rates every woman's appearance when he meets her), only to find myself later on changing my opinion of her once I get to know her and see her frequently. I think that's this is because initially you look for things about a woman that make her unattractive, and later you looks for things that make her attractive.
I agree with those who have posted that she needs to get out there and get involved in group settings where she can meet real people who live nearby. Whenever I read the personals in a paper, I always wonder how many of those people are people I either know or who I've had contact with during the day... without ever knowing they were lonely and looking for someone. Your friend could be working right next to the perfect guy, but neither of them knows the other is looking, so they never connect.
I think that the best advice for your friend, and all gals like her, is not to use internet dating as a means to find a guy. This format drops her right into the worst ways to meet a guy - short term/first impressions, and in those situations girls who are heavy or "not pretty" lose out. She should go to car shows, bike shows, horse shows, join clubs, etc. I guarantee you that once she gets involved with single guys on a frequent basis, and they see her for being better than they first thought and develop feelings for her, she'll find her guy... and he won't be some drueling mutant who claims he's Brad Pitt on the internet.
The answer to the question regarding men and looks is yes and no. Men will always initially be attracted to woman based on her looks, but this is not the same as saying a man will fall in love with a woman, or want to be with a woman, because of her looks. Many ladies get upset when they catch their guy looking at some hot young thing across the way, but they don't realize that the thought of the woman is usually there and gone in a few seconds. The only reason most men even think twice about some babe they see is because their wife/girlfriend made a big deal about his looking at her.
There have been many times in my life when I've met a woman who I initially thought was unattractive (and I do think that every guy rates every woman's appearance when he meets her), only to find myself later on changing my opinion of her once I get to know her and see her frequently. I think that's this is because initially you look for things about a woman that make her unattractive, and later you looks for things that make her attractive.
I agree with those who have posted that she needs to get out there and get involved in group settings where she can meet real people who live nearby. Whenever I read the personals in a paper, I always wonder how many of those people are people I either know or who I've had contact with during the day... without ever knowing they were lonely and looking for someone. Your friend could be working right next to the perfect guy, but neither of them knows the other is looking, so they never connect.
I think that the best advice for your friend, and all gals like her, is not to use internet dating as a means to find a guy. This format drops her right into the worst ways to meet a guy - short term/first impressions, and in those situations girls who are heavy or "not pretty" lose out. She should go to car shows, bike shows, horse shows, join clubs, etc. I guarantee you that once she gets involved with single guys on a frequent basis, and they see her for being better than they first thought and develop feelings for her, she'll find her guy... and he won't be some drueling mutant who claims he's Brad Pitt on the internet.
sleuth
Livin' Like Thanksgivin'
I'm simply saying, that physical attractiveness listed higher on the needs for men than it did for women. In fact, for women, it wasn't even in the top 5.RoseRed said:
The top 5 needs for women are...
1. Affection
2. Conversation
3. Honesty and openness
4. Financial support
5. Family commitment
His study was very controversial, because it highlights the attentiveness that men pay toward the way a woman looks. A lot of women don't like it because they compare themselves to supermodels, when that isn't really the measuring standard. The real measuring standard is your man's preferences as to how you groom yourself.
Should a man try to look good for his wife? Absolutely. But I'll betcha if *most* women had to choose between looking good and one of those other five needs, they place a higher value on those top 5. At least they would if they're being honest with themselves.
And as I said, they're exceptions, for me, those needs are right on, except they're slightly in the wrong order. For myself, it goes like this.
1 Recreational companionship
2 Admiration
3 Sexual fulfillment
4 An attractive spouse
5 Loyalty
Does that mean physical attractiveness is unimportant to me? Absolutely not. It's still one of my top 5 needs. But for me the number one most important thing about my relationship with my girlfriend is the companionship aspect. But you bet your bottom dollar that at Christmas time, I buy her clothing that I find attractive on her.
Last edited:
Vince
......
No one should have to change for the other. If you are attracted to each other then see where it goes from there. If not, don't change to measure up to someones standards that you shouldn't have to measure up to. A woman shouldn't change to please a man and vica versa. I don't consider myself attractive to women at all (fugly), but I won't change to please someone. Like me for me or to hell with ya.RoseRed said:
If I keep myself in good shape and clean, I expect my spouse to do the same. Why should I have to settle for second fiddle because he chooses to let himself go, yet he expects me to keep up my appearances.
I am not one of those women that needs a man to feel complete. I am happy within my own skin and am able to take care of myself and my daughter.
That is my bottom line.
I am not one of those women that needs a man to feel complete. I am happy within my own skin and am able to take care of myself and my daughter.
That is my bottom line.
sleuth
Livin' Like Thanksgivin'
So you're the exception.RoseRed said:
But then again.. maybe you think he shouldn't let himself go because of a deep-seeded fear that if he lets himself go, he will die earlier, and now none of your needs would be filled.
It's a study of married couples. Take it for what you will. I'm only repeating what someone else said. :shrug: