Settle a fight

[vraiblonde]

Vrai had me going until Larry came in and stomped on her version.

He didn't stomp on my "version". He told the same story I did - he just has a different opinion of whether I was rude or not.

:shrug:

 

[Sharon]

He didn't stomp on my "version". He told the same story I did - he just has a different opinion of whether I was rude or not.

:shrug:

You don't have to get defensive. You sugar-coated your initial version to give the impression that you were on the phone in the kitchen and she was briefly at the door to get the girls. (At least that's my take from what you described.)

...she came by to pick up the girls Christmas morning and I was on the phone with my mother. Larry greeted her and they had a conversation about when the girls would be back, etc. I waved at her, then went back to my phone conversation.

(Larry)

...the woman walks up to Vrail who is on the phone. She stands there with what one might PERCIEVE as an interest to chat on a Christmas morn, peace good will and all that, puts a gift down right in front of Vrail who either saw it or ignored it. Vrail turns her back, walks away and continues the phone call.

:stomp:

Not that any of this matters to me, but there is one thing I'd like to know. What's the score on this one? How many times have you won?

 

[Toxick]

Haven't read the whole thread, but I'm chiming in with my vote of:
Not Rude.



Had the ex already been there, and you all were in conversation, taking the call, and leaving the conversation so you could chat on the phone might be considered - depending on the call.



Already being on the phone when company shows up, and continuing the call... Not rude - unless something important had to be discussed. And if there was something important to be discussed, then a nonverbal gesture should have been used to indicate urgency of some nature.



Taking offense where none is offered or implied: Rude.

 

[vraiblonde]

You don't have to get defensive.

Why is it "defensive" to correct a misconception?

She did not "walk up to me" nor did she "put a gift down right in front of" me. I was standing in the kitchen talking to my Mom when she came in. I waved hi to her, and turned around so I could finish my conversation. She didn't even come *in* the actual kitchen area that I'm aware of, and I'd have probably noticed if she'd been that near.

 

[bohman]

Well, I got through about 1/3 of this thread. I think that the knowledge that we all should get out of this disagreement is this:

YOUR EX SHOULD BE NOWHERE NEAR YOUR CURRENT BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND/SPOUSE.

Even if they start out being civil, your life will be complicated by their proximity at some point.

 

[cattitude]

You know, like I said before, this is just dumb. You have wasted a lot of time arguing over something so trivial..unless this is a big symptom of a problem in the relationship as a whole. Even then, it's ridiculous to ALLOW it to be a big problem.

Having been with Ott for a long time now and seeing things much more clearly than when I was an under thirty something, life is short and the time you have to spend together...enjoying each other..is short.

Cook him a nice dinner or go out to dinner and forget about this nonsense.

 

[tater]

.

Hey Catt,
They're talking about Nice big erections over in the bridge jumpin thread

 

[Dougstermd]

Larry and I are having a disagreement and I'd love to have a second opinion:

His ex-wife and I used to be quite chummy but several months ago, there was a chilling of the relationship (not my doing, but hers - she just stopped coming around, then Larry told me some things she said about me that made me not care if she came around anymore).

Anyway, she came by to pick up the girls Christmas morning and I was on the phone with my mother. Larry greeted her and they had a conversation about when the girls would be back, etc. I waved at her, then went back to my phone conversation.

Larry says this was rude. I say it wasn't.

Who's right? Or can it simply be a matter of opinion as to what is and isn't considered rude?

GEESH I HATE IT when I have to say the woman is right

 

[vraiblonde]

Already being on the phone when company shows up

Well, she's not company, anyway. She was specifically there to pick up the girls, not visit, and was there for as long as it took them to grab their things - *maybe* five minutes. I doubt she even took her coat off.

Had a visitor shown up - a neighbor or whatever - I'd have told my Mom I'd call her back and went to greet them. As it stands, I consider the ex no more or less than the UPS guy - he comes in the office to drop a package and, if I'm on the phone, he waves, I wave, and he goes on his merry way. No big deal.

 

[Midnightrider]

You know, like I said before, this is just dumb. You have wasted a lot of time arguing over something so trivial..unless this is a big symptom of a problem in the relationship as a whole. Even then, it's ridiculous to ALLOW it to be a big problem.

Having been with Ott for a long time now and seeing things much more clearly than when I was an under thirty something, life is short and the time you have to spend together...enjoying each other..is short.

Cook him a nice dinner or go out to dinner and forget about this nonsense.

I thought there was a counselor for this type of stuff.....

but i agree with the above, its been a long time and if its still an issue its obviously a sign of larger problems

 

[Sharon]

this is just dumb.

go out to dinner and forget about this nonsense.

I agree.










[...unless they continue this (or another previous arguement) at dinner]

 

[cattitude]

Hey Catt,
They're talking about Nice big erections over in the bridge jumpin thread

BIG ones? Really?

Howdy stranger.

 

[Dougstermd]

Well, she's not company, anyway. She was specifically there to pick up the girls, not visit, and was there for as long as it took them to grab their things - *maybe* five minutes. I doubt she even took her coat off.

Had a visitor shown up - a neighbor or whatever - I'd have told my Mom I'd call her back and went to greet them. As it stands, I consider the ex no more or less than the UPS guy - he comes in the office to drop a package and, if I'm on the phone, he waves, I wave, and he goes on his merry way. No big deal.

darn it not again

 

[Sharon]

Why is it "defensive" to correct a misconception?

She did not "walk up to me" nor did she "put a gift down right in front of" me. I was standing in the kitchen talking to my Mom when she came in. I waved hi to her, and turned around so I could finish my conversation. She didn't even come *in* the actual kitchen area that I'm aware of, and I'd have probably noticed if she'd been that near.

:sharonout:

 

[Midnightrider]

Well, she's not company, anyway. She was specifically there to pick up the girls, not visit, and was there for as long as it took them to grab their things - *maybe* five minutes. I doubt she even took her coat off.

Had a visitor shown up - a neighbor or whatever - I'd have told my Mom I'd call her back and went to greet them. As it stands, I consider the ex no more or less than the UPS guy - he comes in the office to drop a package and, if I'm on the phone, he waves, I wave, and he goes on his merry way. No big deal.

that would be prefectly appropriate if she wasn;t the mother of your husbands children. As it stands shes a part of your life, like it or not, for the kids you should get over your issues with her

 

[tater]

BIG ones? Really?

Howdy stranger.

Howdy and a back atcha.

 

[itsbob]

Why is it "defensive" to correct a misconception?

She did not "walk up to me" nor did she "put a gift down right in front of" me. I was standing in the kitchen talking to my Mom when she came in. I waved hi to her, and turned around so I could finish my conversation. She didn't even come *in* the actual kitchen area that I'm aware of, and I'd have probably noticed if she'd been that near.

Were you smoking at the time?

 

[jazz lady]

Hey Catt,
They're talking about Nice big erections over in the bridge jumpin thread

And this has to do with you HOW?

 

[Dougstermd]

that would be prefectly appropriate if she wasn;t the mother of your husbands children. As it stands shes a part of your life, like it or not, for the kids you should get over your issues with her

 

[Midnightrider]

youre right, having a hostile relationship with your SO's Ex is much healthier for the kids....