Statute of limitations?

[Toxick]

Originally posted by Pete
They ruled the same way. That the non-bio father had established a fatherlike relationship with the child thus was responsible.

...

The same court in a later opinion concluded that estblishing a fatherlike relationship was not grounds for visitation.

Now that's just bullshit. Sickening

 

[Elle]

I agree with everyone else, get a lawyer and get the test done asap. And I think a lot of you are confusing fathering with being a father, anybody can father a child but a man would be a father no matter what. Big on "thought I was your dad" for not stepping up and taking responsibilities even if he's not obligated to. And if the "co-worker" has had no contact with boy as of yet tell him to not until after the test, this poor kid, I can't even imagine.

 

[baswm]

It is a sad situation all the way around. This girl and him were friends and had casual sex twice. Unknown to him, she was seeing this other guy T. Well, he got a call from her telling him she was pregnant by T. He went on his own way and kept in contact with this girl by the yearly Christmas card. NEver seen her or the kid. The guy T and her lived together for a while, split up, back to gether, split, she married another man, that lasted a little over a year, and was back living with baby's daddy. The kid will be 13 later in the year and has "ties" with his fathers family. I read the note she wrote my coworker saying to take a paternity test to see if it is his and no matter what, T will always be her sons father. He has a lawyer and has taken the test. Just waitng for results. He is going to have to get a second job because the calculator the state uses to get the amount paid is very high. I told him he is looking at a fancy car payment for 6 years. I think she is on public assistance while working at a day care center.
I think the mother should have had both men tested from day one to see who the dad was so this would not happen. He never met the kid and has no idea how to approach him. He feels like a sperm donor sort of speak. He only wants the best for the kid and not to harm him emotionally. It will be interesting when it goes to court how the judge will rule and if he will get a reduced amount because of his wife and 4 kids he supports now. He is praying the test comes back negative. I will post follow up as he tells me.

 

[crabcake]

Originally posted by baswm
It is a sad situation all the way around.

I agree; unfortunately, this is what happens when -- as a woman -- you allow yourself to get stuck like a pincushion too often by too many pins.

 

[vraiblonde]

If that happened to Larry, and it turned out he was the bebe daddy, I'd insist we go for custody. What kind of life will this kid have, growing up with a POS Mom like this?

 

[sleuth]

Originally posted by baswm
He has a lawyer and has taken the test. Just waitng for results. He is going to have to get a second job because the calculator the state uses to get the amount paid is very high. I told him he is looking at a fancy car payment for 6 years. I think she is on public assistance while working at a day care center.
I think the mother should have had both men tested from day one to see who the dad was so this would not happen. He never met the kid and has no idea how to approach him. He feels like a sperm donor sort of speak. He only wants the best for the kid and not to harm him emotionally. It will be interesting when it goes to court how the judge will rule and if he will get a reduced amount because of his wife and 4 kids he supports now. He is praying the test comes back negative. I will post follow up as he tells me.

Even if it comes up positive, he doesn't necessarily have to pay support. Yeah, he had the kid, and yeah he is responsible. But I don't think it's very fair either for this to be sprung on a man who has lived 12 years knowing there was a kid but not being told it was his, then have someone turn around someday, and say "I guess it was yours after all. We're going to flip the lives of your wife and other 4 kids upside down because of it."

Far as I see it, a good lawyer will be able to argue that point effectively in court.

And IF for some reason they don't let him see the kid, he damn sure as hell better not have to pay child support.

 

[citysherry]

Originally posted by vraiblonde
If that happened to Larry, and it turned out he was the bebe daddy, I'd insist we go for custody. What kind of life will this kid have, growing up with a POS Mom like this?

Fantastic idea! If it is determined that he's the bio-father, serious consideration should be given to suing this woman for custody.

 

[baswm]

He got his results today. 99.9% positive. Now he will see if she wants to come to an agreement out of court or else in court. Sucks for sure. I am praying his family can hold up under the ordeal.

 

[sleuth]

Originally posted by baswm
He got his results today. 99.9% positive. Now he will see if she wants to come to an agreement out of court or else in court. Sucks for sure. I am praying his family can hold up under the ordeal.

I wish him the best of luck.
Personally I think he should be absolved of all obligations, considering the number of years the lady went without telling him.

You know... a guy builds a life on certain bricks of a foundation. How many kids he has, whether he's married, how much money he makes, how much money his wife makes, etc.

I just don't think it's fair to have this sprung on him like this, when for 12 years the woman claimed the child was from another man.

But if he does get sued for support, I hope he sues her back for child abuse, negligence, and custody and whatever else he can get.

 

[Nickel]

Originally posted by sleuth14
I wish him the best of luck.
Personally I think he should be absolved of all obligations, considering the number of years the lady went without telling him.

You know... a guy builds a life on certain bricks of a foundation. How many kids he has, whether he's married, how much money he makes, how much money his wife makes, etc.

I just don't think it's fair to have this sprung on him like this, when for 12 years the woman claimed the child was from another man.

But if he does get sued for support, I hope he sues her back for child abuse, negligence, and custody and whatever else he can get.

That's a nice thought, but what about the 12 year old who has no father now? Regardless of how f-ed up the situation is, the fact of the matter remains that he fathered a child and he should be held responsible. It sucks that this woman has put everyone involved in this horrible situation, but child support isn't about the mom and dad, it's about the child.

 

[baswm]

I believe the thought to be father is still in the picture. How do you not break an over 12 year old bond? I told him he needs to go for a drink.

 

[sleuth]

Originally posted by Nickel
That's a nice thought, but what about the 12 year old who has no father now? Regardless of how f-ed up the situation is, the fact of the matter remains that he fathered a child and he should be held responsible. It sucks that this woman has put everyone involved in this horrible situation, but child support isn't about the mom and dad, it's about the child.

There's no easy answer in this and I feel for the child.
I think that's why he should sue her for custody and give the mom visitation. Seems to me that he could provide a more stable family than she does, and that he has a good case for child abuse because of her actions in putting the child in this situation.

I doubt the court would give it to him though... ... this whole situation just sucks.

 

[Nickel]

Originally posted by sleuth14
this whole situation just sucks.

Sure does...some people are just ghetto, plain and simple. I cannot imagine going 12 years not knowing who the father of my child is. And if after those 12 years I finally figured it out, I sure as hell wouldn't be parading my hoochified self around declaring that-not only am I a ho, but I've been taking advantage of someone for 12 years and putting my child in the middle of it.

 

[Nickel]

Originally posted by kwillia
Sleuth, honey... let this be a lesson for you...

1. Cover your stump before you hump
2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner
6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong
7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it
8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey
9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize
10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
12. If you go into heat, package your meat
13. While you're undressing venus, dress up your penis
14. When you take off her pants and blouse, slip up your trouser mouse
15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member
16. Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker
17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool
18. The right selection will protect your erection
19. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil
20. A crank with armor will never harm her
21. No glove, no love!

You should print that out and pass it out with free condoms outside of a high school one day

 

[crabcake]

maybe MD has a similiar law like in PA and the non-bio dad will be forced to be a dad to the kid. :shrug:

best of luck to your buddy. As much as it would suck to NOT have a dad, I think it's better off for the courts leave your buddy out of it free-and-clear and not tell the kid (until he's much older so he could understand the factors of the situation) ... it'd only confused him more now and make the momma look like a tramp in the eyes of her son.

but that's just my opinion.

 

[sleuth]

Originally posted by kwillia
Sleuth, honey... let this be a lesson for you...

1. Cover your stump before you hump

I already do...
Buckaroo...

 

[christy20657]

OMG the same exact thing is happening to us right now! The sherrif showed up w/ CS papers for a kid my hubby never even knew about. The kid is also 12. Can you contact me via email, I wonder if we are maybe dealing with the same person???

my email is christy20657@comcast.net

 

[christy20657]

Even if it comes up positive, he doesn't necessarily have to pay support. Yeah, he had the kid, and yeah he is responsible. But I don't think it's very fair either for this to be sprung on a man who has lived 12 years knowing there was a kid but not being told it was his, then have someone turn around someday, and say "I guess it was yours after all. We're going to flip the lives of your wife and other 4 kids upside down because of it."


I hear everyone talking about the fathers responsibilities, but isn't it the mothers responsibility to her child and the father to inform them there is even a possibility? Since we are going through the same thing maybe I am a little bit to close to it. Yes I agree, if my husband is the father, he should have to pay something, however taking 50% of his gross income, money he doesn't even see and not considering the two children we have together in the equation is a little steep! The child support calculator states that since she has no job, my husband is 100% responsible for the support of the child. Well why? because she chooses not to work and collect welfare? We have found that this woman was a call girl, is currently in a rehab, and was brought up on federal weapons charges and was charged and indicted on first degree arson! She plead to conspiracy to commit arson. The kid does not even reside w/ her in WV, he resides w/ the people who ran the call girl operation and who she hooked up w/ after leaving my husband. The kid has that guys last name! Those people in SC were convicted of welfare fraud in WV and are now trying to get it again! She has 4 kids, has had 3 paternity tests on 3 out of 4 of those kids and they all have different last names.

Is it fair, that now my children have to go without their basic needs so that dad can pay child support for a child he didnt know was his? And lets say for instance I have to stop paying my kids health insurance has to be dropped to pay this (its $500 a month) is the state going to give me a welfare check or medical assistance? NO! because they will consider the income that my husband shows on a tax return but does not see due to a child support obligation. Its not fair to my kids, its not fair to the kid in question, its not fair to me or my hubby.

If this child turns out to be my husbands, we will probably go financially broke fighting for custody because we will have to go to WV to fight. Then if we win, then what? we just take this kid from the only life he has ever known (may be a shitty life but still the only one he has ever known) and throw him into a ready made family and expect him to adjust? How do we do that? How do you explain to a 10 year old that she has a brother who is older than her that she knew nothing about? I feel like my world has been torn apart. I could have to sell my house that I finally was able to get (after living in a mobile home for 10 years) because someone wants a welfare check? Its not fair all the way around but the mother should be forced to take on some of the responsibilty! And yes, I do feel sorry for the child, I didnt fight for 4 years and go bankrupt to get custody of my stepson because I dislike children that are not mine, but the bottom line is, who is going to feel sorry for my kids when they do without? Why should I have to suffer because one thing I know for certain is that THERE IS NO WAY POSSIBLE THAT THAT KID IS MINE BIOLOGICALLY! We are the innocent victims here but we will pay the biggest price!

 

[baswm]

Damn. Sounds like the same story alright. The birth mother in my coworkers case lives in southern maryland.
The calculators online say he has to pay 680 a month. He is barely getting by now. I will pass along your email address.

 

[citysherry]

Originally posted by christy20657
Why should I have to suffer because one thing I know for certain is that THERE IS NO WAY POSSIBLE THAT THAT KID IS MINE BIOLOGICALLY! We are the innocent victims here but we will pay the biggest price!

For crap sake woman, you want some cheese to go with that whine! People blend families all the time. Children are very resilient and adapt quite well with some help to situations in their life paths. Start looking at the bigger picture instead of crying about how this all negatively impacts you.