The Good Wife

J

julz20684

Guest
cattitude said:
But it takes time..I just love where we are now.
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Unfortunately most men don't want to invest in the time anymore.
 
B

bresamil

wandering aimlessly
Lugnut said:
Describe the perfect husband... :popcorn:
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There is no such thing thereby dispensing with any stress that one day I may be forced to be Good Housekeeping's "Good Wife". :lmao:
 
cattitude

cattitude

My Sweetest Boy
julz20684 said:
Unfortunately most men don't want to invest in the time anymore.
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See, I think that's not a fair statement. I'm of the opinion that women expect too much from men and/or expect them to think and react like they think they should. Men and women get bored or don't feel loved and do stupid things or just become complacent. Kids, money, work and other aspects of everyday life take a toll on a marriage. Granted, I think a lot of men give up, but probably because it's an easy way out. I'm of the belief that the woman holds the key to a happy marriage but often doesn't realize it until it's too late.
 
J

julz20684

Guest
cattitude said:
See, I think that's not a fair statement. I'm of the opinion that women expect too much from men and/or expect them to think and react like they think they should. Men and women get bored or don't feel loved and do stupid things or just become complacent. Kids, money, work and other aspects of everyday life take a toll on a marriage. Granted, I think a lot of men give up, but probably because it's an easy way out. I'm of the belief that the woman holds the key to a happy marriage but often doesn't realize it until it's too late.
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What I mean is at my age, most men I meet just don't want to invest in the time and effort it takes to be in a relationship; they want to do what they want when they want and that's it; basically they don't want to have to answer to anyone. And it's a shame that they think they have to "answer" to anyone.

I don't want them to think like me at all. I don't look at every dating experience as this is going to be a relationship, I've learned to look at it from a friendship first and see what happens deal. But it gets me thinking; when several times over the course of the year, I've heard from men that they just don't want to put forth any effort; is this what is left at this age...men who have no desire to want/make a relationship, compromise, etc.
 
B

bresamil

wandering aimlessly
mainman said:
And you view this as a personal attack on you? :shrug:
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Not really. Just wondered why you thought it would be rich. You'd have said it to anyone. I'm just bored.
 
jazz lady

jazz lady

~*~ Rara Avis ~*~
PREMO Member
julz20684 said:
An article from Good Housekeeping, 1955...of course, written by a man
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I'll have to send that to my mom. She married my dad around that time and I'm sure she'll appreciate the laugh. :lmao:
 
B

bresamil

wandering aimlessly
julz20684 said:
What I mean is at my age, most men I meet just don't want to invest in the time and effort it takes to be in a relationship; they want to do what they want when they want and that's it; basically they don't want to have to answer to anyone. And it's a shame that they think they have to "answer" to anyone.

I don't want them to think like me at all. I don't look at every dating experience as this is going to be a relationship, I've learned to look at it from a friendship first and see what happens deal. But it gets me thinking; when several times over the course of the year, I've heard from men that they just don't want to put forth any effort; is this what is left at this age...men who have no desire to want/make a relationship, compromise, etc.
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I see your point with this. At the same time, I can honestly say that where I am in my life - raising 3 kids alone - I don't have the energy to put into making a relationship either. So I see the guy's point of view as well.
I'd love to be in a relationship and if it all gels without effort then :yahoo: but the reality is that relationships take work.
 
J

julz20684

Guest
bresamil said:
I see your point with this. At the same time, I can honestly say that where I am in my life - raising 3 kids alone - I don't have the energy to put into making a relationship either. So I see the guy's point of view as well.
I'd love to be in a relationship and if it all gels without effort then :yahoo: but the reality is that relationships take work.
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All relationships take work; family, friends, kids, wives, husbands, SOs, etc. I also raise kids alone. And it is very hard at our age, because most of us have kids and the kids always should come first.

If we put effort into all these other relationships in our life, why not with a potential mate.

I think it just amazes me that in the last year I've heard more than one man say they just don't want to put forth the effort it takes. I put forth effort, I make a point to have time for that person. I certinaly don't give up my life for that person. I want my own time too, my time with friends, family and especially my kids. But I do put forth an effort and it's disappointing to think that all that's left for me is to accept that a man is not going to put forth an effort for me.
 
B

bresamil

wandering aimlessly
julz20684 said:
All relationships take work; family, friends, kids, wives, husbands, SOs, etc. I also raise kids alone. And it is very hard at our age, because most of us have kids and the kids always should come first.

If we put effort into all these other relationships in our life, why not with a potential mate.

I think it just amazes me that in the last year I've heard more than one man say they just don't want to put forth the effort it takes. I put forth effort, I make a point to have time for that person. I certinaly don't give up my life for that person. I want my own time too, my time with friends, family and especially my kids. But I do put forth an effort and it's disappointing to think that all that's left for me is to accept that a man is not going to put forth an effort for me.
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There are men out there willing to work on a relationship, the key is finding them. And they normally show up in your life when you least expect them. Take heart. :huggy:
 
kwillia

kwillia

n/a
julz20684 said:
And it is very hard at our age, because most of us have kids and the kids always should come first.
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I am 15 years into a successful marriage and I can say it is hard at this point in our life to keep the relationship working. It works in our favor that we are committed to each other, know each other inside and out and see us growing old with each other, but it is still constant work just the same. I couldn't imagine trying to start up and maintain a lasting relationship anew.
 
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