To tell or not to tell, that is the question

W

wifey

New Member
Have good female friend who we will name Gertrude. Saw her husband of 3 years who we will name Walter out with another woman this weekend kissing and rubing heavily. They are definitely still married. Walter had the look of death when he realized I saw him. Gertrude has heart of gold and they have 2 small children(under 2) together. It would crush her. Do you tell Gertrude what you saw? If Gertrude was out with another man do you tell Walter?

Asking general question here. If you saw best friend's spouse out cheating do you tell the best friend? If best friend was out cheating do you tell the spouse? If you were just so so friends or just knew who ther person was do you tell the spouse? At what point do you tell spouse and when do you keep out?
 
R

RadioPatrol

Guest
well anything you say to any party, there will be denial, accusations, hurt feelings ...... it is the right thing to do .... but you may lose your friend for awhile and certainly hubby will never talk to you and you will always be the biatch to him

other than that ........... :whistle:
 
migtig

migtig

aka Mrs. Giant
Will she forgive you if she finds out you knew all along?

Will she forgive you if she winds up with a STD, and finds out you knew all along she was at risk?

Will she still be your friend if she can't trust you to be her friend?

Is she truly your friend, whom you wouldn't want anything bad to happen to?

Can you live with yourself for not telling?

Can you lie to her everytime you see her?

Would you rather lose your friendship over the fact that you kept a harmful secret from her? or would you rather you lost the friendship because you were honest?

So answer those questions and then decide what you want to do. You may not lose the friendship at all, but those are the questions you need to answer for yourself.
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
wifey said:
If you saw best friend's spouse out cheating do you tell the best friend? If best friend was out cheating do you tell the spouse?
Click to expand...

If BF's spouse was cheating, I would tell him that he better tell her or I'm going to.

If BF was cheating, I wouldn't say a word, but she would cease to be my BF because cheating is a character issue with me. If she'd screw over her husband, she'd certainly have no qualms about screwing me over.
 
K

kris31280

Guest
You never know, perhaps the friend and her husband have an agreement about his being able to be unfaithful.

I find that it's best to keep it to myself in those situations because you don't know what the circumstances of their relationship are.
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
migtig said:
Will she forgive you if she finds out you knew all along?

Will she forgive you if she winds up with a STD, and finds out you knew all along she was at risk?

Will she still be your friend if she can't trust you to be her friend?

Is she truly your friend, whom you wouldn't want anything bad to happen to?

Can you live with yourself for not telling?

Can you lie to her everytime you see her?

Would you rather lose your friendship over the fact that you kept a harmful secret from her? or would you rather you lost the friendship because you were honest?

So answer those questions and then decide what you want to do. You may not lose the friendship at all, but those are the questions you need to answer for yourself.
Click to expand...
Wish I'd posted that :clap:
 
R

RadioPatrol

Guest
vraiblonde said:
If BF's spouse was cheating, I would tell him that he better tell her or I'm going to.

If BF was cheating, I wouldn't say a word, but she would cease to be my BF because cheating is a character issue with me. If she'd screw over her husband, she'd certainly have no qualms about screwing me over.
Click to expand...

Ooo Snap .... how true
 
aps45819

aps45819

24/7 Single Dad
You should have walked up while he was with the wench and inquired as to the well being of his wife and two small children
 
Callie girl

Callie girl

New Member
If she is one of your best friends you should def. tell her. I would be really mad if one of my friends didn't tell me and they new.

Migtig put it the best though
 
Merlin99

Merlin99

Visualize whirled peas
PREMO Member
Is your name Qurious, and are we going to find that there is actually two more pages to this story? Just curious because this is how every one of her scenario's have started.:howdy:
 
This_person

This_person

Well-Known Member
wifey said:
Have good female friend who we will name Gertrude. Saw her husband of 3 years who we will name Walter out with another woman this weekend kissing and rubing heavily. They are definitely still married. Walter had the look of death when he realized I saw him. Gertrude has heart of gold and they have 2 small children(under 2) together. It would crush her. Do you tell Gertrude what you saw? If Gertrude was out with another man do you tell Walter?

Asking general question here. If you saw best friend's spouse out cheating do you tell the best friend? If best friend was out cheating do you tell the spouse? If you were just so so friends or just knew who ther person was do you tell the spouse? At what point do you tell spouse and when do you keep out?
Click to expand...
What would you expect from Gertrude if she were in this spot?


Is there any chance, any at all, that what you saw isn't what it seemed?
 
godsbutterfly

godsbutterfly

Free to Fly
wifey said:
Have good female friend who we will name Gertrude. Saw her husband of 3 years who we will name Walter out with another woman this weekend kissing and rubing heavily. They are definitely still married. Walter had the look of death when he realized I saw him. Gertrude has heart of gold and they have 2 small children(under 2) together. It would crush her. Do you tell Gertrude what you saw? If Gertrude was out with another man do you tell Walter?

Asking general question here. If you saw best friend's spouse out cheating do you tell the best friend? If best friend was out cheating do you tell the spouse? If you were just so so friends or just knew who ther person was do you tell the spouse? At what point do you tell spouse and when do you keep out?
Click to expand...

If you're telling her out of love and concern and not out of a desire to spread hurt and gossip then yes, tell her.
 
M

maxima87

Football Mom!!!
Women can be simple acting when it comes to things like this. Don't be suprised if she doesn't talk to you for a while if you tell her. She will probably come around but it may take a while. She will be hurt and embarrased.
 
W

wkndbeacher

Guest
Better question would be, if you knew a fellow forumite was seeing someone on here and you knew their husband/wife would you tell? :popcorn:
 
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