What is it about men...

Sadysue

New Member
JeweledSkye said:
What is it about men that makes 99% of the ones under the age of 30 hightail it and run for the hills the second they find out that you have a kid or are expecting one?

This applies to men and women.

a) They are scared they will get asked to babysit.
b) They know they will get dropped like a hot potato when your child is born.
c) They know all you will want to talk about after you child is born is YOUR
CHILD!
d) They are scared that if you do find time to do something with them, like go to the movies, that they will be embarrassed by your screaming infant.
e) They are scared they will be asked to change a diaper
f) They are scared they will be asked to clean up puke.
g) See c again.

Three of my best friends had kids right out of school. Two were single moms. Even though we had been best friends for years, I didn't have a kid so we had NOTHING in common anymore. I was worried about buying cute new shoes, they were worried about their children's ears. It like being from two different worlds.

There lives revolved around their children. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but if I wanted to hang out with them, my life had to revolve around their children too.

My advice to you, to make friends, would be to meet other expecting parents. Maybe go to some parenting classes or something where other young mothers would be. Meet some single men that already have kids.

IMO most single, childless 20 yr olds do not have a lot in common with young mothers.

I also agree with the previous poster that said men are scared you are looking for a daddy or a pay check. My current finance has had that done to him twice. I am from a small southern town that was near a military base. A LOT of women would try to hook up with the military men because of the benefits, job security, and steady pay. That is exactly what happened to my finance. Unfortunately, young mothers have been given somewhat of a stereotype that you will have to deal with.

Anyways, thats just my opinion.

I wish you the best of luck.
 

Nickel

curiouser and curiouser
Sadysue said:
I also agree with the previous poster that said men are scared you are looking for a daddy or a pay check. My current finance has had that done to him twice.
Freudian slip? :popcorn:
 

Tina2001aniT

New Member
JeweledSkye said:
What is it about men that makes 99% of the ones under the age of 30 hightail it and run for the hills the second they find out that you have a kid or are expecting one?

I'm 20 and expecting my first little one in August. I'm not asking anyone to be a dad... hell, not even asking them to be my significant other(I'm the kind who'd rather just get to know you before it ever goes past casual dating and hanging out)... but it seems kind of callous and harsh to just turn a girl down flat just because she's going to be a mother. Especially the ones who don't even give her a chance.

Also... what happened to all the decent single men in Southern Maryland? I live in St. Marys and most guys I meet are either:

A: younger than me(even by a year, I can't do it... it just feels weird)
B: Taken
C: Single, but total #######s who are so shallow they can't look past the way a girl looks.(Honestly guys... we're not all supermodel material, but that's not to say we can't make you happy)

Anyway... I'm not even sure why I'm posting this... just curious as to what kind of feedback I'll get from those out there who actually bother to read this.

Here's what I don't get, if you are seriously looking for friends, no relationships, no sex, none of that, then what happened before you got pregnant? Why are you so desperately seeking friendship now, did you live under a rock before you got pregnant?
 
C

czygvtwkr

Guest
Well a guy could see one of two things

1) Dirty Whore

2) Someone too stupid to use birthcontrol while having sex with someone they are not serious enough to stick with, or stupid enough to get hooked up with a man that they really shouldn't have.

Either way its baggage.
 
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BuddyLee

Football addict
I'm 23 and have been around twenty-somethings for a good while now. I'd say it has to do with the level of maturity. I think I'm mature for my age but on the same note I don't really want a kid at this point. I still want to go out and have a little fun before I have to devote my life to my children.

Personally speaking, if I found out that the girl I was dating had a child it would be somewhat of a drawback at this time in my life. However, if I liked the girl it wouldn't matter as much.
 

Magnum

Should be Huntin
Toxick said:
Here's the cold hard truth.


Men in their twenties who are looking for a wife and family, get one, settle down and buy station-wagons and remove themselves from 'the scene'.

Men in their twenties who are NOT looking for a family are looking for a good time. Typically this involves lingerie, alcohol and tons of lubricated latex.

You, being pregnant, represent exactly what they are hoping to avoid. They are thinking that, even if you're fun now, in less than six months, you are going to be involved with 3AM feedings, binkies, woobies, bassinets, carriages, and doing the whole mom thing.

In other words, you won't be available for dancing at clubs, jello shooters at parties, letting them drink margarita out of your bellybutton, and 7 hour sport-####ing sessions.. Plus you'll be way to tired or preoccupied to exercise your neck muscles - if you know what I'm saying.


And I will have you know that this is not strictly a man thing.

I have many male friends who had children early. Several of them re-entered the dating scene after their marriages (and shackings-up as the case may be) crumbled. It was not uncommon for women to bolt for the door when the subject of their kids came up.


I am 25 and single. I already have the station Wagon and Suburban :lmao: I rarely drink or party anymore. I'd love to meet someone and have a family, gotta have a boy to carry on my name. I am starting to think that I won't find anyone anytime soon. Not around here anyways. I dated a girl that had kids before, I will not do it again. After about a year I just couldn't do it.

I'd have no problem talking to or hanging out with a single pregnant girl, Friends are friends and nothing more.
 

2ndAmendment

Just a forgiven sinner
PREMO Member
JeweledSkye said:
I never said I didn't have a lot to learn. Perhaps I just misunderstood what you were trying to say. And I meant that I noticed the younger crowd up and run away, but I still would like to have friends in that crowd that I can hang out with because often I have more in common with them so it makes it a bit easier to relate to them. Sounds kinda like we both misunderstood each other.
Chain729 told you like it is as have others. The short version is you are not going to have much time to hang out very shortly, so forget about it, except very occasionally, for about 18 years after you have your last kid.
 

vanbells

Pookieboo!!!
I'm 27, single and don't want to be in a relationship for now. It's all about good times without "hooking up."
 

itsbob

I bowl overhand
Tina2001aniT said:
Here's what I don't get, if you are seriously looking for friends, no relationships, no sex, none of that, then what happened before you got pregnant? Why are you so desperately seeking friendship now, did you live under a rock before you got pregnant?
Yeah, you'd figure since she's already pregnant she may as well spread em wide..







and often..
 

SamSpade

Well-Known Member
If 99% of any group of people all have the same reaction to something - they aren't the ones with the problem. It means they are acting *normal*. Perhaps you haven't described the situation well enough, or as others have noted - haven't considered everything.

I can think of dozens of reasons why young men - and older ones - might refrain from paying attention to women with children, and not all of them make the men look so awful. For one thing, it's still a good bet that a woman with children has another man in her life (at least, to an observer who hasn't chatted with you or anything) - those children didn't come from thin air. They also come with their own set of complications that is normal for some not to bother with. If you're a young guy looking for someone - who are you more likely to choose - someone who's available at a moment's notice - or someone whose schedule is tighter than a dermatologist's?

Me, I dated lots of single moms before I got married - but even I had my own concerns. For example, if their kids were out of control, that was a life I didn't want to take part in.
 

SamSpade

Well-Known Member
czygvtwkr said:
Well a guy could see one of two things

1) Dirty Whore

2) Someone too stupid to use birthcontrol while having sex with someone they are not serious enough to stick with, or stupid enough to get hooked up with a man that they really shouldn't have.

Either way its baggage.

I think #2 would have been my gut reaction, especially if they had more than one child and by different men.
 
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