pixiegirl
Cleopatra Jones
I was mistaken. Chasey wanted your gf to lick your acorns it seems.
http://forums.somd.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=29100&perpage=15&highlight=acorns&pagenumber=9
Why do women seek men to earn more than they do?
- Thread starter nickt1862
- Start date
I was mistaken. Chasey wanted your gf to lick your acorns it seems.
http://forums.somd.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=29100&perpage=15&highlight=acorns&pagenumber=9
#1, Because some day that woman might want to marry you and have a child with you. And she might want to actually stay home and raise that childherself instead of letting some daycare babe do it. She can't do that if she's the breadwinner and you don't make enough money to support your family.
#2, it's very natural for a woman to want a man that's better than she is in the "guy" department. If she wanted to earn her own money, maintain her own car, kill her own spiders and hammer her own nails, why would she get married? We women might ask the question: why do men seek women who are better nurturers than they are? Men should have to bring something to the table.
#3, it's not the women who want a money-man that you have to worry about. The gals you want to avoid are the "I can do it myself, you loser" types.
H
HollowSoul
Guest
#3, it's not the women who want a money-man that you have to worry about. The gals you want to avoid are the "I can do it myself, you loser" types. [/B][/QUOTE] This one is very true
mixallagist
Be careful what u wish 4
This one is very true
[/B][/QUOTE] Why is that? It's nice to know you can depend on someone but it's better to know that you don't have to.
Because it's emasculating. That's why there's this trend of men not holding up their end of the bargain anymore - because nobody really expects them to.
mixallagist
Be careful what u wish 4
I see your point, but I also see so many women out there who are in a bad situation because they are to dependent on a man and they can't get out.
There's no such thing as being in a bad situation because you're dependent. These women stay in abusive relationships because they want to, not because they have to. 99% of the time, they jumped on the guy in the first place out of pure laziness. They saw the warning signs and took the chance anyway because it seemed better than actually being responsible for your own self.
I'm not talking about those kind of women, though. I'm talking about normal women who want a man they can look up to.
Not to sound like a wackjob here but our federal government is responsible for a lot of the decline of men's taking responsibility. Men don't have to do that anymore - if they ditch their woman and kid, the government will jump in and rescue them.
Plus, our society is reflecting that belittling of men. Back in the day, if some guy deserted his family he'd be an outcast. Now you have socially influential people like Britney Spears legitimizing guys who run out on their families and children. Men that step up to the plate and do right by their wife and kids are not considered cool.
And I find it hard to believe that this is just an unintended consequence. Even little children know that if you want to control a group of people, take out their leaders first.
[/wackjob]
Plus, our society is reflecting that belittling of men. Back in the day, if some guy deserted his family he'd be an outcast. Now you have socially influential people like Britney Spears legitimizing guys who run out on their families and children. Men that step up to the plate and do right by their wife and kids are not considered cool.
And I find it hard to believe that this is just an unintended consequence. Even little children know that if you want to control a group of people, take out their leaders first.
[/wackjob]
SamSpade
Well-Known Member
I'll take exception to that on at least one basis - financial. If you're lucky and have a family or a place to go, with your children, good on you. I've known several people who remained in a bad situation, mostly relatives, because they weren't desperate enough to throw caution to the wind and just leave, but they didn't have a dime to their name, no job, and no means of supporting themselves if it came to that.
Since I don't want to refer to people I know, I'll just describe MYSELF, 15 years ago. I was in a very controlling cult, and part of their control is they strongly manipulated what kind of job you had and what kind of responsibilities you held, and laid heavy financial obligations on you. I made about 400 bucks a week in the 80's, which was alright I guess. But I had NO credit, and literally lived paycheck to paycheck - I can remember bread sandwiches and looting the couch for change to make mac and cheese. I *tried* to apply for apartments once I decided to leave - they wouldn't let me. I had to move in with my parents at 30 years of age and it took a year to pay off debts and build up enough credit to move into my own apartment.
IF I'd had the financial wherewithal to leave right away, I'd have done it in a heartbeat. I couldn't - at the time I was figuring to leave I was making 6 bucks an hour and deeply in debt. It took a lot of overtime and working two jobs to get the hell out of there AND it took a year at home to BE on my own.
So I get the idea of being dependent. *Been* there. It's not easy.
pixiegirl
Cleopatra Jones
I tend to agree with what you're saying for the most part. I don't need a man to be a "provider" in a monetary sense but a woman should want and need a man to do certain things for her. I can support myself financially yes but I can not completely support the lifestyle that I desire by myself. The same holds true for B. It's a give and take. It's all about greediness (lack of better word). We both want things that are easier to obtain together then alone. Though he doesn't have to be the "bread winner" he does HAVE to be a provider.
Our household is suprisingly traditional. I cook, clean and do all the "woman" things while he mows the yard, fixes things and the rest of the manly things. I prefer it that way. I have no interest in riding around the yard on the tractor cutting the grass and I hate the way that he folds laundry and so on. There are roles that can and should be stuck to for the most part.
My ex is a lazy POS I'm sure because he watched his mother not only work full time but come home and take care of all the household responsibilities. Do you think his dad ever did anything? Nope, not even the regular manly stuff. And what's worse is he use to sneak home from work and nap on the couch. His mom just picking up the slack and taking on the male and female roles led to their son being all jacked up as well.
mixallagist
Be careful what u wish 4
Your right. i'm a single mom raising 3 kids on my own without any help from the government or the father. I work two jobs to provide for my family and barely squeak by but my kids have a roof over there head, food to eat and clothes to wear. We are the typical family now a days. I'm not complaining but it would be nice to have a man to look up to who doesn't look down on me. I work hard for what we have and it might not be much but it's ours. I don't want a man to rescue me just someone to talk to and share with when things get to be too much.
SamSpade
Well-Known Member
What are you talking about? You know, the number one reason I feared getting married, for YEARS, was the fear that my wife would just get bored with me one day, take my children away, and garnish my wages for the next twenty years, and turn my kids away from me. Because that's what I saw dozens of times with my roommates for 15-20 years. I saw guys with engineering jobs having to pony up a third of their income to pay to support children that the court said they had a right to see, but the mother refused to allow. I saw fathers fight for custody for children where the mother was a continual drunk or druggie, and frequently left the kids starving or alone. I saw bullsh*t type stuff where child support payments would go way up because mom decided that if she couldn't send the kids to private school, the dad who wasn't allowed to see the kids could be compelled to pay for it.
Unh-uh. I didn't want NONE of that. I saw guys living in studios and efficencies because after their wages were garnished, that's all they could afford. Yuck. No way.