You Were All Such Great Help Before. . .
- Thread starter LostAngel
- Start date
Midnightrider
Well-Known Member
and how many of those things did she claim he was BEFORE she found out he was cheating on her?vegmom said:
besides, its funny how you ignore the numerous times she says he has never been violent to suit your argument, but readily accept and even expand on the few things that make him :bad:
kwillia said:No one said she was making anything up...Most everyone is saying YOU are making stuff up.
I'm not just trying to
but everyone seems to be jumping down my throat. For what? Saying that he could turn physical and she should take caution? It was the one post I quoted that set the alarm bells ringing with me.Midnightrider said:
Yes, she could be making it up. She could be telling the truth. If the later, she needs to protect herself. If the former the courts will find out.
People who physically abuse their partners don't always do it from the get go. Things spiral. Certain behavioral patterns are forboding. What other things she has said are chilling.
Midnightrider
Well-Known Member
if it was really all that she wouldn't be so adamant that he isn't a threat to her and that she is only worried about not seeing her kids again (way dramatic anyway, and based on nothing)vegmom said:
If you had your way, every X would have a restraining order against them becasue "things sprial" and what he "might do" could be very dangerous.....
paaaaaaleeez
kwillia
n/a
The problem isn't with your recognition of flags that indicate an abusive relationship. It's your immediate assumption that it means he will suddenly turn to physical abuse. It's your assumption that she isn't taking the necessary steps to get out of that relationship. It's your assumption that now that she has read your link, it somehow offers some sort of protection.vegmom said:I'm not just trying to
The truth is, she chose this man to make a baby with and as a result, she cannot simply run away and never look back. She has no grounds to keep his child from him, thus her getting spun up and freaking out based on "what ifs" isn't doing anything to de-escalate the tension that's building between them. She should be focusing on defusing... not provoking.
Midnightrider said:
His behavior, as she reports it, it very troubling. Would you take your chances with a woman who was acting like that?
No we can't predict if he will actually become violent (physically) but throwing/breaking things (among other things reported) is an idicator. How many sources would I need to quote to convince you it's not some pseudo-feminist agenda thing?
kwillia said:
And I will state again: I am not saying with 100% certainty that he will turn physically abusive. What I am saying is that he's showing all the warning signs of someone who could. I am not trying to start some kind of panic, just waving a big caution flag. It does sound like she is trying to get away from this guy.
Midnightrider
Well-Known Member
:fixed:vegmom said:
kwillia
n/a
Correction... she is trying to end a marriage with this guy. She cannot "get away from him" because she has a child with him. No matter how many bad names he calls her, no matter how many evil eyes he cast her way... she has to see him on a regular basis because they share a child together.vegmom said:
No matter how many red flags get flown reading whatever lists, the laws are on his side unless he choses to break them... then and only then can she go get a court order of protection for herself (Note, he'll still be able to have visitation with the kid if he's not caused harm to the kid). BTW, that piece of paper isn't going to stop anyone from hurting her if they really want to... you know that though, huh?
Midnightrider
Well-Known Member
no, she is showing all the earmarks of an abusive person, vegmom should seek a restraining order!!!Pete said:You are being abusive to veggiemom you better stop
Midnightrider
Well-Known Member
try reading what i quoted, i know its hard, but try......vegmom said:
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