Cheating !

[Pete]

That is my observation too. Why is that? Maybe they think if they do some nasty skank, it's not really cheating? But that's insulting as hell - he not only cheats, but gives some stupid loser ugly chick something to lord over you. If Larry ever cheats, that beyotch better be a hell of a woman or he's gonna hear about it.

Perhaps that is the type that typically goes after married guys. :shrug:

 

[Tina2001aniT]

Perhaps that is the type that typically goes after married guys. :shrug:

 

[mAlice]

Perhaps that is the type that typically goes after married guys. :shrug:

Men and women both trade down.

 

[Pete]

Men and women both trade down.

True

 

[SixxiS]

Men and women both trade down.

 

[Kizzy]

Men and women alike are looking to fill some hole in their current relationship, it may seem like a trade down to some but to them they feel they traded up, for a time, they got what they felt they were missing out on. I’ve been privy to seeing an awful lot of affairs in my workplace over the past 16 years, co-workers have confided in me when sometimes I really wish they wouldn’t or didn’t, I have seen affairs cost one or the other person everything they had and I have seen domestic issues divide friendships in the workplace.

But for those who have cheated and who have been cheated on, need to look at why there was a hole there to begin with that opened up the relationship to an affair. I know that opinion isn’t going to go over well will some people. I was raised being told that a woman should be there for her husband, physically and emotionally that God intended us to be monogamous, that a marriage should fill each others needs, emotionally and sexually, that communication is the key to a long term relationship. That it is about HIS needs and as long as he is working, bringing home a pay check, isn't hanging out in a bar or hitting you, then all should be good. I think many women are told this, which is why I think women generally work harder at relationships then men.

I’ve know men that specifically target happily married women, they get sex, and no commitment without disturbing their pleasant repertoire at home (whether that be with a spouse or they don't want the stress of a relationship). I’ve know married men who continually seek a romp with somebody other than their spouse just for the thrill or because this married man is seeking a romp because they are not getting it at home. Then I’ve seen good people who tried to work things out, time and time again, stray, when maybe they should have left but didn’t want to ruffle their home life, until that hole got bigger and bigger and they couldn't live with that decision to stay even if it does effect their children and their stability.

 

[gumbo]

Men and women alike are looking to fill some hole in their current relationship, it may seem like a trade down to some but to them they feel they traded up, for a time, they got what they felt they were missing out on. I’ve been privy to seeing an awful lot of affairs in my workplace over the past 16 years, co-workers have confided in me when sometimes I really wish they wouldn’t or didn’t, I have seen affairs cost one or the other person everything they had and I have seen domestic issues divide friendships in the workplace.

But for those who have cheated and who have been cheated on, need to look at why there was a hole there to begin with that opened up the relationship to an affair. I know that opinion isn’t going to go over well will some people. I was raised being told that a woman should be there for her husband, physically and emotionally that God intended us to be monogamous, that a marriage should fill each others needs, emotionally and sexually, that communication is the key to a long term relationship. That it is about HIS needs and as long as he is working, bringing home a pay check, isn't hanging out in a bar or hitting you, then all should be good. I think many women are told this, which is why I think women generally work harder at relationships then men.

I’ve know men that specifically target happily married women, they get sex, and no commitment without disturbing their pleasant repertoire at home (whether that be with a spouse or they don't want the stress of a relationship). I’ve know married men who continually seek a romp with somebody other than their spouse just for the thrill or because this married man is seeking a romp because they are not getting it at home. Then I’ve seen good people who tried to work things out, time and time again, stray, when maybe they should have left but didn’t want to ruffle their home life, until that hole got bigger and bigger and they couldn't live with that decision to stay even if it does effect their children and their stability.

You go GIRL

I need a smilie that claps?

 

[geminigrl]

You go GIRL

I need a smilie that claps?

 

[Wickedwrench]

Mine did and I love it. Everytime she leaves her teeny 2 bedroom rented row house and has to borrow money from her mother to come get her boy, then parks in my driveway with her rattletrap car and parks next to my new truck and comes in my house I giggle inside just a little.

There is a certain joy in watching them suffer, isn't there Pete?
I'm new to this joy and absolutely love it!

 

[vraiblonde]

Good post, Kizzy

But for those who have cheated and who have been cheated on, need to look at why there was a hole there to begin with that opened up the relationship to an affair.

Very true, but nobody's going to do that. The person who cheats knows exactly what's missing and the cheated-on person probably knows too. But people never think anything is their fault. It's easier to blame the cheater, get divorced and tell everyone who will listen to you how horrible the other person is, rather than admit responsibility and try to give more in the relationship to close the hole.

Some guy who finds out his wife is cheating is NOT going to think, "Gee, I wish I'd have been nicer to her and given her more attention so she wasn't ripe for the pickin' for the first guy who came along." No woman is going to think, "I should have given him more sex so he wouldn't have gone running after that bar maid."

That it is about HIS needs and as long as he is working, bringing home a pay check, isn't hanging out in a bar or hitting you, then all should be good.

And that's the truth, as well. Women tend to have low expectations of men UNTIL they realize there's a hole. Or they see the fatal flaw when they're dating and think, "That's not so bad - I can live with that." Then go stark raving mad when they DO have to live with it.

 

[pvineswinger]

Men and women both trade down.

Cheaters kind of HAVE to trade down- most decent people won't be an "accessory" in cheating if they know you are involved. So who's left to cheat with? Skanky sleeze bags & losers.

 

[SmallTown]

Cheaters kind of HAVE to trade down- most decent people won't be an "accessory" in cheating if they know you are involved. So who's left to cheat with? Skanky sleeze bags & losers.

 

[pixiegirl]

Cheaters kind of HAVE to trade down- most decent people won't be an "accessory" in cheating if they know you are involved. So who's left to cheat with? Skanky sleeze bags & losers.

Not all the time. There are those "knight in shinning armor" types. My mom's next door neighbor left her husband for the man she was having an affair with several years ago and he is a hell of a guy. Much better then the POS a-hole she was married to. It's unfortunate that she had to wait for someone else to come along in order to leave the jerk she was married to. That's a self esteem issue on her part I guess. But in the end she definately traded up.

 

[Steve]

Christy and I both traded up...

 

[pvineswinger]

Not all the time. There are those "knight in shinning armor" types. My mom's next door neighbor left her husband for the man she was having an affair with several years ago and he is a hell of a guy. Much better then the POS a-hole she was married to. It's unfortunate that she had to wait for someone else to come along in order to leave the jerk she was married to. That's a self esteem issue on her part I guess. But in the end she definately traded up.

Notice I wrote "most" decent people. There are always exceptions.
But usually if the "other man" is actually a decent guy, he'll wait until she's out of the bad relationship to have a relationship with her- and then it's not cheating.

 

[pixiegirl]

Notice I wrote "most" decent people. There are always exceptions.
But usually if the "other man" is actually a decent guy, he'll wait until she's out of the bad relationship to have a relationship with her- and then it's not cheating.

You may have said "most" but you emphasized "HAVE to trade down" as well. Kind of a conflicting statement. I've met a ton of decent guys in my day that think they need to save a woman.

 

[Pete]

You may have said "most" but you emphasized "HAVE to trade down" as well. Kind of a conflicting statement. I've met a ton of decent guys in my day that think they need to save a woman.

You want to have an affair Pix? If you say yes it must be understood I am the boss.

 

[cattitude]

You want to have an affair Pix? If you say yes it must be understood I am the boss.

Dear Pix:

I must advise you this man is delusional. Boss???



Love,

Mom

 

[crabcake]

Cheaters kind of HAVE to trade down- most decent people won't be an "accessory" in cheating if they know you are involved. So who's left to cheat with? Skanky sleeze bags & losers.

correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't you banging your married guy friend?

 

[pixiegirl]

You want to have an affair Pix? If you say yes it must be understood I am the boss.

You should know me well enough by now to know that any man that tries to be the boss of me has marked the begining of the end.

Damn ballsy woman.