Forgiving A Cheater

D

dobeday1

New Member
HalfAngel said:
Let me set the stage for this one. . . You and your husband/wife have been married for 6 years, when suddenly you aren't living under the same roof - not because anyone chose to leave, but because the 'landlord' wouldn't allow one of you to stay. During this time, you continue to see each other every day - spend holidays together - celebrate your wedding anniversary - say "I Love You's" - bedroom action stays the same. . . . all while you're trying to save money to move your family elsewhere.

Some months later. . . your partner tells you that he's begun seeing someone and has been sleeping with them. Days later they tell you that they ended that relationship - they miss you - they messed up so bad - whatever.

Being stupid, you take them back - bound and determined to not fail at your marriage. A while later you secretly move them back in - and one morning you find condoms in their wallet (when the two of you don't use them, and the other person admitted to not using them to the confession piece of @ss) and see a phone number in their cell phone. The phone call lasted for 35 seconds only.

Because I'm obviously stupid to keep taking this person back, would you assume they're still cheeating? Or would you think that because they moved back in, it's all over with? Assuming, it is all over - could you forgive a cheater?

How would you handle this, knowing that the other person will 'attack' you if you so much as mention this?
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Many marriages and other relationships have survived infidelity. I do not believe once a cheater, always a cheater. In some cases, though it may be few, there are people who have cheated on their lover once, but because the
action traumatized the relationship, they could not bare to hurt their partner that way again. Sometimes they do learn their lesson. It's good to forgive. It doesn't mean over and over and over again for the same mistake.

If your husband is abusive towards you, it is best not to keep yourself or your daughter near him. But ALWAYS seek professionals such as courts, lawyers, etc, to see what is legal or not in the way of just taking your child and running with her.

Good Luck!
 
PrepH4U

PrepH4U

New Member
Larry Gude said:
...it? Just 'the chase'? What that tells me is the thrill of getting her in the mood or her just being in the mood is gone. That tells me all is not well at home.

I live 120 miles from my wife and could get laid 8 nights a week if that's what I wanted, but she is still the only one that can make my knees weak and my heart go thump thump just by smiling at me or simply when I see her name on the caller ID.
So, anyone who is seeking 'the chase' doesn't have that. THAT is what they are looking for and if THAT is what makes them happy, then, by default, again, they ain't happy at home.
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vraiblonde said:
:smack:

I can feel the private forums going crazy with a flurry of posts. :lol:
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Not if they read the whole thread! How sweet is that?
 
Larry Gude

Larry Gude

Strung Out
Well...

vraiblonde said:
:smack:

I can feel the private forums going crazy with a flurry of posts. :lol:
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...you know that say, no point in stirring if it won't raise a stink. :lmao:


I confess that you are still the one and only one and you still make my knees weak with your smile and I still get a pause when I see your name on the caller ID. I don't miss us fighting and I have found that I can actually get to the grocery store and back without getting lost. All by myself. :lmao:

So, you're my one and only. Except this one night. Last week. I'd been drinking. It was late. I couldn't help it. It was so warm and inviting. That damn shower is heaven I tell you and, well, I got a little carried away with myself...




Please forgive me. It's just a hand. I'll cut it off.

:lmao:
 
Pete

Pete

Repete
Larry Gude said:
...you know that say, no point in stirring if it won't raise a stink. :lmao:


I confess that you are still the one and only one and you still make my knees weak with your smile and I still get a pause when I see your name on the caller ID. I don't miss us fighting and I have found that I can actually get to the grocery store and back without getting lost. All by myself. :lmao:

So, you're my one and only. Except this one night. Last week. I'd been drinking. It was late. I couldn't help it. It was so warm and inviting. That damn shower is heaven I tell you and, well, I got a little carried away with myself...




Please forgive me. It's just a hand. I'll cut it off.

:lmao:
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:twitch:
 
RoseRed

RoseRed

American Beauty
PREMO Member
Larry Gude said:
...you know that say, no point in stirring if it won't raise a stink. :lmao:


I confess that you are still the one and only one and you still make my knees weak with your smile and I still get a pause when I see your name on the caller ID. I don't miss us fighting and I have found that I can actually get to the grocery store and back without getting lost. All by myself. :lmao:

So, you're my one and only. Except this one night. Last week. I'd been drinking. It was late. I couldn't help it. It was so warm and inviting. That damn shower is heaven I tell you and, well, I got a little carried away with myself...




Please forgive me. It's just a hand. I'll cut it off.

:lmao:
Click to expand...

:lmao:
 
K

KWAK

New Member
dobeday1 said:
Many marriages and other relationships have survived infidelity. I do not believe once a cheater, always a cheater. In some cases, though it may be few, there are people who have cheated on their lover once, but because the
action traumatized the relationship, they could not bare to hurt their partner that way again. Sometimes they do learn their lesson. It's good to forgive. It doesn't mean over and over and over again for the same mistake.

If your husband is abusive towards you, it is best not to keep yourself or your daughter near him. But ALWAYS seek professionals such as courts, lawyers, etc, to see what is legal or not in the way of just taking your child and running with her.

Good Luck!
Click to expand...

Before it happened to me, I swore up and down that I could never be with a man that cheated. Then it happened - he did tell me because he felt so guilty about it, and told me that too - said he felt like he was having panic attacks. I was so devastated that I suddenly wasn't good enough for him, that I forgave him. I did see the side, that was mentioned earlier, that I wasn't totally innocent in everything to have essentially allowed him to be removed from our home.

Maybe I forgave too quickly?? Because he obviously now thinks that it was okay for him to do.
 
Larry Gude

Larry Gude

Strung Out
Yeah right...

cattitude said:
hmmph...see if I ever let you be the first to open the box again.





:neener:
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...we're standing in an alley and Catt says 'psst. Come here." She says 'look what I got', opens her coat and then starts acting all surprised that there's little Keebler Elves in there running around like roaches.
 
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