How do I get him to take care of his son??????????

[chemommy25]

I hope they take you to court... and get grandparents visitation and then it goes to standard traveling issue.. The person receiving the child picks up.

For your son you are not willing to drive one way once in awhile... but if YOU need something from then then it is okay?

You are helpless really and for your son's sake I hope that one day you grow up.

Wow. You just want to argue with someone. Who said they do not have visitation with thier grandson? not me. Why would they take me to court for visitation when i tell them they can visit with him whenever they ask? I get no help from that family whatsoever, and the only thing i ask is when they ask to see him, they have to provide the transportation to and from. Now, not only am i the only person taking care of him financially, but now i have to provide transportation atleast one way so the other family can see him? It's the least they could do, especially if it is thier visit. But yes, if i need someone to watch Che and i call them and ask if they can, and they ask me to drive him there and back, then i understand because it is a favor to me and its the least i can do. Believe me, I've grown up alot quicker than i wanted to for my son's sake with no help, and i do a damn good job as a single parent. I've also realized that the only person you can depend on is yourself, and whether anybody else likes it or not I have to put my foot down somewhere, and not continue to get stepped on by everybody. I do everything on my own, and the only thing i ask of anybody is to just come pick up the child you want to see so much and drop him off once a month for a short weekend. And you have to argue with why that is not fair. I have by far not been treated fairly in this situatuation, and I'm not blaming anybody else, but sometimes life is not fair, and if you want to see the child so much. get off your a**, and come get him, and stop complaining. And because i asked the other family to provide transportation both ways, they cancelled the whole weekend, because of that little issue. Not because i said they could'nt. They didn't get thier way, so they gave up thier visit with thier grandson, So who needs to grow up?

 

[chemommy25]

so then it's ok for her to post this.. come on now, get real..

the mother wants everyone to pay for her son that she had and can't afford. she needs to suck it up and be a mother.


i'm sorry but #### that.

i work my ass off all year so i can give my hard earned money to a childs mother that can't afford a baby she had the choice of giving up. if you can't afford a kid, you shouldn't have had one. period.

this goes to all mothers who ##### about money and children and expect giveaways.

i'm not directing this towards anyone in particular, this just urks my last nerve my tax dollars are going to this.

Everyone?
no just my son's dad.
And i can afford him, But just because i can afford him, doesnt give his father the right to not do anything at all for him.

 

[chemommy25]

Woot!

What about her MF'n parents, can they help out, pay for some of the necessities since everyone thinks the fathers parents should pay! WTF, it takes 2, TWO I say to make a baby! Stop harassing the fathers parents for money etc. Harass your own parents for not teaching you to keep your GD legs closed!

Grow the F up, get a job, and raise your child!

My parents do help out, i live with them and they help raise this child. more than his own father ever has or will. And i never harassed anybody for money. i asked for help one time. they said no. and i let it go. and i have a job. i work 7 days a week to raise him, and to make sure he has everything he needs to stay healthy and happy. My son's father knows i am a good mother and I would never let our son go without, that is why he feels no guilt about not doing anything for him. but just because you know your child is going to be taken care of with or without your help, doesnt give him the right to do nothing at all.

 

[RareBreed]

Speaking from somebody whose dad abandoned them at a young age, I think you are doing your son a disservice by not letting him have his dad talk to him on the phone. Granted it doesn't make up for the lack of child support and running off to TX but it's atleast something in his life.

Even if it's only done at Grandma's house, it's better than nothing. He is atleast trying to connect with his son. His attempt may last a few months, years or for the rest of your son's life. He might decide that once he really starts talking to your son (to where your son is old enough to answer back and tell him stuff)that he really messed up by leaving and will try to do better. Maybe, maybe not but you have to atleast give him a shot to try. Doesn't change how he treats you with the child support but don't punish the kid in an attempt to get back at him.

Years from now when your son finds out that his dad had tried to have a relationship with him over the phone, he might resent you from keeping that little contact between father and son away.

As the kid grows up, he can determine whether or not he wants a relationship with his dad but until then, give both of them an opportunity to have some interaction. There were many days that I sat on our couch waiting for my dad to pick me up and he never showed, and never called for days at a time to tell me why he didn't come. It didn't take long before I realized that my dad was a POS and I was better off without him but I made that decision, not my mom. My mom already knew the man he was but let me learn it for myself. Kids are smart. They pick up quickly who is good and who is bad. You have to let this play out and wait and see. Yes, your son might get hurt in the end but atleast he will know that both you and he gave it a shot and that the dad is the one to blame.

JMHO Take it or leave it. Like other have said visitation and child support are two seperate issues. Child support is your battle to fight and has no reflection on how or when your son sees or hears from his father.

 

[PrepH4U]

Suz has money and if there was a verbal agreement to Suz picking up of Che and bringing him back, it is a big deal. If there was not then a halfway point should be met. This child and his mother are receiving no child support, and I don't understand why everyone is ganging up on her. Diapers and food are only a portion of what this child needs.

 

[LusbyMom]

My parents do help out, i live with them and they help raise this child. more than his own father ever has or will. And i never harassed anybody for money. i asked for help one time. they said no. and i let it go. and i have a job. i work 7 days a week to raise him, and to make sure he has everything he needs to stay healthy and happy. My son's father knows i am a good mother and I would never let our son go without, that is why he feels no guilt about not doing anything for him. but just because you know your child is going to be taken care of with or without your help, doesnt give him the right to do nothing at all.

I agree with that 100%. That is the same as my situation. He knows my kid will be taken care of regardless but it still doesn't relieve him of his responsibility. He seems to think it does and plays the system. Straight up the system sucks and the laws that have been made are not followed. I do understand your frustration but you have to let go and get over it. Don't expect him to support your son and you won't be disappointed.

As a parent I want to give my kids everything but sometimes it's just not possible. My kid needs braces but right now I can't swing it. If her deadbeat father would pay what he currently owes it would be more than enough to cover her braces. But he won't... so she has to wait. Does it piss me off? You're damn right.. when he cancels visitation because he has to work, or he goes on vacation or buys a new vehicle but then he can't take care of her needs? Yeah it pisses me off. But what can I do about it? Nothing.

Wanna know what's even worse? That he is never there for her. That he constantly disappoints her. When she sits and waits for him to show up at her concert or whatever and he never shows up. I can't stand to see her hurt and again their is nothing I can do about it. I wish that I could protect her but I can't.

You want to protect your son from his father who is inconsistent but you can't. The law give him rights whether he deserves it or not.

 

[LusbyMom]

Speaking from somebody whose dad abandoned them at a young age, I think you are doing your son a disservice by not letting him have his dad talk to him on the phone. Granted it doesn't make up for the lack of child support and running off to TX but it's atleast something in his life.

Even if it's only done at Grandma's house, it's better than nothing. He is atleast trying to connect with his son. His attempt may last a few months, years or for the rest of your son's life. He might decide that once he really starts talking to your son (to where your son is old enough to answer back and tell him stuff)that he really messed up by leaving and will try to do better. Maybe, maybe not but you have to atleast give him a shot to try. Doesn't change how he treats you with the child support but don't punish the kid in an attempt to get back at him.

Years from now when your son finds out that his dad had tried to have a relationship with him over the phone, he might resent you from keeping that little contact between father and son away.

As the kid grows up, he can determine whether or not he wants a relationship with his dad but until then, give both of them an opportunity to have some interaction. There were many days that I sat on our couch waiting for my dad to pick me up and he never showed, and never called for days at a time to tell me why he didn't come. It didn't take long before I realized that my dad was a POS and I was better off without him but I made that decision, not my mom. My mom already knew the man he was but let me learn it for myself. Kids are smart. They pick up quickly who is good and who is bad. You have to let this play out and wait and see. Yes, your son might get hurt in the end but atleast he will know that both you and he gave it a shot and that the dad is the one to blame.

JMHO Take it or leave it. Like other have said visitation and child support are two seperate issues. Child support is your battle to fight and has no reflection on how or when your son sees or hears from his father.

Great post and so very true!

 

[RareBreed]

Great post and so very true!

That's one life experience I wouldn't want on my worst enemy. Nothing like having your dad act like he doesn't give a rat's arse about you. But it made me who I am and I think I turned out pretty darn well!! Better than my brother and sister who had him around growing up if you ask me.

 

[LusbyMom]

That's one life experience I wouldn't want on my worst enemy. Nothing like having your dad act like he doesn't give a rat's arse about you. But it made me who I am and I think I turned out pretty darn well!! Better than my brother and sister who had him around growing up if you ask me.

Yep I grew up in that situation myself. I did visit a few times and I thought he was the best in the world.. as I grew up I saw the truth and it made me even more thankful for my momma.

 

[Black-Francis]

Wow. You just want to argue with someone. Who said they do not have visitation with thier grandson? not me. Why would they take me to court for visitation when i tell them they can visit with him whenever they ask? I get no help from that family whatsoever, and the only thing i ask is when they ask to see him, they have to provide the transportation to and from. Now, not only am i the only person taking care of him financially, but now i have to provide transportation atleast one way so the other family can see him? It's the least they could do, especially if it is thier visit. But yes, if i need someone to watch Che and i call them and ask if they can, and they ask me to drive him there and back, then i understand because it is a favor to me and its the least i can do. Believe me, I've grown up alot quicker than i wanted to for my son's sake with no help, and i do a damn good job as a single parent. I've also realized that the only person you can depend on is yourself, and whether anybody else likes it or not I have to put my foot down somewhere, and not continue to get stepped on by everybody. I do everything on my own, and the only thing i ask of anybody is to just come pick up the child you want to see so much and drop him off once a month for a short weekend. And you have to argue with why that is not fair. I have by far not been treated fairly in this situatuation, and I'm not blaming anybody else, but sometimes life is not fair, and if you want to see the child so much. get off your a**, and come get him, and stop complaining. And because i asked the other family to provide transportation both ways, they cancelled the whole weekend, because of that little issue. Not because i said they could'nt. They didn't get thier way, so they gave up thier visit with thier grandson, So who needs to grow up?

Just put LusbyMom on ignore.......She is annoying as hell.

 

[LusbyMom]

Just put LusbyMom on ignore.......She is annoying as hell.

You must me since you continue to stalk me around the boards and chat.

 

[Black-Francis]

Yep I grew up in that situation myself. I did visit a few times and I thought he was the best in the world.. as I grew up I saw the truth and it made me even more thankful for my momma.

 

[Cowgirl]

Daughter will be going to University of Maryland for 4 years, then to Virginia Tech for four,, after that her next four are on her.
She doesnt know about the last four yet.

What's she doing the last 4 for? Is she going to specialize in something after she gets her DVM?

 

[jp2854]

If he pays? No dear, it does not work like that. And by saying that it proves to me that you are using your child as a pawn!

I agree with sockie and che you sound immature and like a selfish brat.

 

[bcp]

What's she doing the last 4 for? Is she going to specialize in something after she gets her DVM?

I reckon so.
and that will change by the hour...

 

[Cowgirl]

I reckon so.
and that will change by the hour...

One of my bffs just graduated vet school last year. I graduated undergrad with her. She did the UM/VT thing. She had a full ride to UM. Saved lots of money that way.

 

[Pete]

I wonder what would happen if courts "reached back" into deadbeats families and forced their parents to pay child support if the parent didn't.

Would deadbeats change their tune and pay if their mom and dad were getting hosed?

Would parents beat their kids more often if they knew they could be potentially screwed by their scofflaw attitudes?

 

[Cowgirl]

I wonder what would happen if courts "reached back" into deadbeats families and forced their parents to pay child support if the parent didn't.

Would deadbeats change their tune and pay if their mom and dad were getting hosed?

Would parents beat their kids more often if they knew they could be potentially screwed by their scofflaw attitudes?

I bet chastity belts would make a come back.

 

[Pete]

I bet chastity belts would make a come back.

Perhaps not a bad thing eh?

 

[Cowgirl]

Perhaps not a bad thing eh?

I hope D's kids never get preggo.