CableChick
Loved
You won't really find out all the bad stuff until AFTER you're married and it's too late! 
If you..
- Thread starter mv_princess
- Start date
mv_princess
mv = margaritaville
Oh I like that one!!baileydog said:
Dougstermd
ORGASM DONOR
nachomama said:
My ex wife was ireplacable. Once that biatch was gone I ain't gettin another one.
And there is absolutely not one thing I could have asked that would have changed my mind about marrying her. We just grew apart after a seventeen year relationship. Well she just grew too snooty for my taste.
W
Wenchy
Guest
mv_princess said:
"Is there mental illness in your family or your-ex-wifes?"
I would have been prepared for what happened, after we got married, if I had ever even dreamed to have asked this question.
mv_princess
mv = margaritaville
I will keep this one in mind.Wenchy said:
L
lugebob
Guest
It really doesn't matter what you ask.......... before you get married...... and here is why.
1. Most of the time all the answers to all your questions are smacking you in the face, but the couple in love is to blind to see, understand, and decide to accept (forever), or not accept what they are seeing. Young women will accept just about anything short of, but sometimes including, physical abuse , get married and then just cannot figure out why their man won't change or conform to her vision of a man to be with forever.
2. People change or evolve on their own... the younger the couple in love is... the more they may change, because they have not yet settled into a comfortable life as themselves.
The best question that can be asked are asked at pre-marraige counseling session... where you are guided to answer truthfully and in complete thought out answers. Things like How important is religion to you now and when you have children? How much money is OK for your spouse to spend without notifying or asking you? How will you respond or care for a sick parent? There are so many....
The best thing you can do is to DATE and slowly include all aspects of life and see how you deal with them together... Do your best to throw the giggly LOVE Blinders off and look at what you have... If you are not liking what you see......... don't get married... Getting married has a way of turning up the volume on all the things you already didn't like.
If you can Accept what you see (forever)and remeber the only thing you can change is you and you are not looking to the spouse for you only source of happiness, then you should have a good marriage.
i will stop now.
bob
PS Married 28years this week, with one year off (seperation) for bad behavior.
1. Most of the time all the answers to all your questions are smacking you in the face, but the couple in love is to blind to see, understand, and decide to accept (forever), or not accept what they are seeing. Young women will accept just about anything short of, but sometimes including, physical abuse , get married and then just cannot figure out why their man won't change or conform to her vision of a man to be with forever.
2. People change or evolve on their own... the younger the couple in love is... the more they may change, because they have not yet settled into a comfortable life as themselves.
The best question that can be asked are asked at pre-marraige counseling session... where you are guided to answer truthfully and in complete thought out answers. Things like How important is religion to you now and when you have children? How much money is OK for your spouse to spend without notifying or asking you? How will you respond or care for a sick parent? There are so many....
The best thing you can do is to DATE and slowly include all aspects of life and see how you deal with them together... Do your best to throw the giggly LOVE Blinders off and look at what you have... If you are not liking what you see......... don't get married... Getting married has a way of turning up the volume on all the things you already didn't like.
If you can Accept what you see (forever)and remeber the only thing you can change is you and you are not looking to the spouse for you only source of happiness, then you should have a good marriage.
i will stop now.
bob
PS Married 28years this week, with one year off (seperation) for bad behavior.
Last edited by a moderator:
mv_princess
mv = margaritaville
Wow. that was great! thank you!!!lugebob said:
Chasey_Lane
Salt Life
Nothing. We lived together for quite some time before getting married so I feel we pretty much knew everything about each other before getting married. I have far worse habits than he does anyhow.mv_princess said:
Ponytail
New Member
Until my current g/f, I couldn't find a girl that was willing to, or one that I wanted to stick around for much longer than 6 months. Problems included closet issues (their closet), me not conforming to the person that they wanted, me not changing to match their own personal effort to change themselves, them just plain being psycho, them living their parents lives instead of their own, them making decisions that would make their parents happy instead of making themselves happy, them being unhappy with with they were at or headed in life and instead of fixing it, making issues with my life of which I am perfactly happy, and them dealing with the fact that I am not a needy person and am perfectly happy going to bed alone and using that threat in an argument only ensures that I will get a good nights sleep .
No question can be asked that would give insight to problems such as these, which is why premarital relationships are necessary and I favor lengthy engagements as well as they tend to show deep rooted family issues if there are any. No, I haven't been engaged before. Never made it that far. Close, very close. And I smoked the cigar anyway.
.No question can be asked that would give insight to problems such as these, which is why premarital relationships are necessary and I favor lengthy engagements as well as they tend to show deep rooted family issues if there are any. No, I haven't been engaged before. Never made it that far. Close, very close. And I smoked the cigar anyway.
crabcake
But wait, there's more...
RoMary said:
Exactly! And don't be ruled by his
either, because eventually things go limp. Find someone who makes you laugh, who you click with, who can be/is your best friend, someone who doesn't make you second guess your decision to be with them, someone who gives you the amount of space you need without leaving you hanging all the time. Find out their views on things that matter to you -- religion, money, sex, kids and how they should be raised, what things they've learned from previous relationships (did they learn lessons, or just let things happen to them, making them a victim). Are they a neat freak or a slob or somewhere in the middle? What are their lifetime goals? What are their dreams? And I can't reiterate enough ... go with your gut feeling, and let those walls down if you have 'em. Yes, I speak from a little bit of experience and a LOT of lessons learned.
smoothmarine187
Well-Known Member
crabcake said:Find out their views on things that matter to you -- religion, money, sex, kids and how they should be raised, what things they've learned from previous relationships (did they learn lessons, or just let things happen to them, making them a victim). Are they a neat freak or a slob or somewhere in the middle? What are their lifetime goals? What are their dreams? And I can't reiterate enough ... go with your gut feeling, and let those walls down if you have 'em.
Yes, I speak from a little bit of experience and a LOT of lessons learned.
Wow, I don't thing you could have said it any better. Our main arguments are about money, and the kids. I don't know how any of those aguments could have been solved in advance. Most of the time you can make a relationship work if you try, but lots of people bail out when times get hard. The only thing that would really be a deal breaker at this point, would be if she cheated on me........and that's definetely not something I could have found out by questioning her in advance.