MMDad
Lem Putt
You don't think you're already here?
Late bloomers
- Thread starter vraiblonde
- Start date
You don't think you're already here?
ArkRescue
Adopt me please !
ALSO we all have to think about how DIFFERENT life is now as apposed to how it was when you turned Twenty years old back in 1970/1980. MOST kids out of high school were NOT going off to college in the numbers we see today. I certainly wasn't from a family of college goers. I was the first one in my family to attend college, but I did it as an adult while working a full time job and raising a family also.
Back in the day, you got married and had kids as the norm. Those who were fortunate enough to go to college usually delayed the marriage/kids phase a few years, but not usually by much.
Life is VERY different now. We have same sex couples, people who marry, people who do NOT want to marry, people who want kids, people who don't. So MANY choices now. There is no "norm" anymore.
Back in the day, you got married and had kids as the norm. Those who were fortunate enough to go to college usually delayed the marriage/kids phase a few years, but not usually by much.
Life is VERY different now. We have same sex couples, people who marry, people who do NOT want to marry, people who want kids, people who don't. So MANY choices now. There is no "norm" anymore.
Larry Gude
Strung Out
Funny how a thread turned from kicking a guy to the curb to everyones mommy issues.
I have no 'mom' issues. She's a gem.
She has 'Larry' issues.
BadGirl
I am so very blessed
Dude, everybody's got "Larry" issues.I have no 'mom' issues. She's a gem.
She has 'Larry' issues.
Larry Gude
Strung Out
But, that was my entire point; most guys in this category rock. They got their #### wired tight and head on right and anyone who starts late and ISN'T kicking it, he's the red flag, not his kid, not his crazy ex.
In fact, I can name a BUNCH of guys, including several on here, who had kids late (some early as well
) who are doing great. My point was simply starting late it it NOT working is an outlier, unusual, not good. Obviously, some guys are 'on it' at an earlier age, some never will be but, by and large, most guys would do better starting later.
Larry Gude
Strung Out
sockgirl77
Well-Known Member
We should just start a panel of forum members to screen Vrai's dates for her. 
Larry Gude
Strung Out
YES - we know there are families of many types and older guys may or may not have their chit more togetherer. Has nothing to do with the original idea behind the tread- which to me was - Vrai was expressing the opinion that her desire to date a guy (in her age range )drops significantly due to him having a dependent child(ren).
MMDad
Lem Putt
We should just start a panel of forum members to screen Vrai's dates for her.
Let me guess. You want to do the bedroom screening.
Absolutely!
sockgirl77
Well-Known Member
Let me guess. You want to do the bedroom screening.
Nah. I'm good in that department. I think she should atleast have us create a dating application. The first question on it needs to ask if he has children and if so, how many.
I don't care except when it's a perfectly good guy that I want to date. It's not a character flaw at all, merely an inconvenience to me as you stated. There's nothing wrong with me not wanting to be inconvenienced. It's normal for people to avoid inconvenience if they can.
Let me be clear: I am not talking about you gents who waited to find the right woman and start your family; I am talking about those who waited, then started their family with Ms. Wrong, and are now trying to date women in their 40s with a young child in tow.
This is nothing personal against ALL middle-aged men who have young children; just the ones I want to date.
Ahh, but he not only started later in life, it apparently didn't work out after only a very short time. May or may not be a red flag.
It is an oddity to me that a man in that age range with a child THAT young would be looking for a woman in that age to date. The odds are not great he will find a mate to help him raise the child and be a FAMILY unit.
I think some of the late bloomer guys here who are taking issue and a bit of offense with Vrai's take on this. If you got married later and/or had your children late and are married - she's not talking about YOU! You are not in the dating pool. Or at least ya shouldn't be if you're married!
^This here^
Darling, you all could not possibly be any pickier than I am.We should just start a panel of forum members to screen Vrai's dates for her.
sockgirl77
Well-Known Member
Darling, you all could not possibly be any pickier than I am.
Then why are you starting to date men with small children when you already know that you do not want them around?
A guy friend of mine waited until he was early 40s to finally get married. The situation was a train wreck from the get-go, and I asked him why he chose her to marry. He said that he just thought it was time, he was done messing around, and figured he should probably go ahead and get married. She was available, he'd just busted up her marriage so he said what the hell.
Not a lot of thought going into the union besides, meh, might as well, and it lasted 5 dysfunctional years.
It's like a woman's baby fever biological clock or something, and I suspect that's what happened with this other guy too. He went 40-some years without getting snagged, and finally decided he didn't want to be "alone" anymore, so he figured he'd get married and have a kid. It doesn't make him a bad person, just a person I don't want to get romantically involved with.
If it were just him, sure - why not? That's how it's supposed to work: you meet someone you like, you date them and see what happens, you either stay together or you break up. But the kid complicates things. I already know we'd break up rather quickly, so no sense in bothering with it.
so he said what the hell.Not a lot of thought going into the union besides, meh, might as well, and it lasted 5 dysfunctional years.
It's like a woman's baby fever biological clock or something, and I suspect that's what happened with this other guy too. He went 40-some years without getting snagged, and finally decided he didn't want to be "alone" anymore, so he figured he'd get married and have a kid. It doesn't make him a bad person, just a person I don't want to get romantically involved with.
If it were just him, sure - why not? That's how it's supposed to work: you meet someone you like, you date them and see what happens, you either stay together or you break up. But the kid complicates things. I already know we'd break up rather quickly, so no sense in bothering with it.
Then why are you starting to date men with small children when you already know that you do not want them around?
What on earth gave you the impression that I dated him, when I specifically said several times that I hadn't and wouldn't?
He lives up the street from me and the first time I ever saw him he was outside playing with his daughter. I didn't have to "ask" - I already knew he had a kid.
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sockgirl77
Well-Known Member
Sorry, I read the "budding romance" part and assumed that you've been out on dates with him.
Sorry, I read the "budding romance" part and assumed that you've been out on dates with him.
Please, like I'm going to freaking date some guy with a little kid!
Budding romance means that we see each other frequently, talk a good bit, and there is a clear interest. Guys I date, I usually know a good deal about them before it gets that far.