Chasey_Lane
Salt Life
There DOESN'T go my power!!kwillia said:GRAY KARMA.... INCOMING...........
Question for the men
- Thread starter vraiblonde
- Start date
Toxick
Splat
This thread 'minds me of something I saw on TV about 100 years ago.
It was right after two of the characters kissed for the first time. The scene was in the woman's house. Her friends are gathered around, eating ice-cream, and she's describing in detail about the lighting of the room, where his hands were on her body, how they moved closer to each other, his lips brushed against hers lightly at first, and then they hugged tighter as their lips pressed together harder... and her friends were asking her questions about various details, and this went on for several minutes.
Cut to the guys apartment. They're each eating a slice of pizza. And this was the conversation:
Friend: Tongue?
Guy: Yeah.
Friend: Cool.
Cut to commercial.
It was right after two of the characters kissed for the first time. The scene was in the woman's house. Her friends are gathered around, eating ice-cream, and she's describing in detail about the lighting of the room, where his hands were on her body, how they moved closer to each other, his lips brushed against hers lightly at first, and then they hugged tighter as their lips pressed together harder... and her friends were asking her questions about various details, and this went on for several minutes.
Cut to the guys apartment. They're each eating a slice of pizza. And this was the conversation:
Friend: Tongue?
Guy: Yeah.
Friend: Cool.
Cut to commercial.
The_King
Servicing The Queen
I don't complain to my friends much, but if I did, the complaints would come from the following:
Men and women perceive things differently such as: She won't SEE the things you do around the house. Therefore you never did them. She won't HEAR everything you say so she'll fill in the blanks herself and then give you hell about things you never said. If you try to say anything in your defense that just drags out her #####ing and moaning. So we keep our mouths shut.
When we're in the company of someone with a sympathetic ear (i.e. someone else with a wife) we sometimes take the opportunity to vent.
This venting only occurs when it's something little we know we can't talk to our wife about. Because of course, she ill be right, we will be wrong until you're listening to her #####ing again.
As for you guys #####ing about your sports getting interrupted, not being able to find the remote and that sort of thing, you probably deserve whatever it is your #####ing about.
Ladies, simple. If you don't want your man #####ing about you, learn to listen once in a while.
Seriously though, we don't ##### to others about anything that matters. So ladies let us ##### to our friends and let it go. We let yours go.
Men and women perceive things differently such as: She won't SEE the things you do around the house. Therefore you never did them. She won't HEAR everything you say so she'll fill in the blanks herself and then give you hell about things you never said. If you try to say anything in your defense that just drags out her #####ing and moaning. So we keep our mouths shut.
When we're in the company of someone with a sympathetic ear (i.e. someone else with a wife) we sometimes take the opportunity to vent.
This venting only occurs when it's something little we know we can't talk to our wife about. Because of course, she ill be right, we will be wrong until you're listening to her #####ing again.
As for you guys #####ing about your sports getting interrupted, not being able to find the remote and that sort of thing, you probably deserve whatever it is your #####ing about.
Ladies, simple. If you don't want your man #####ing about you, learn to listen once in a while.
Seriously though, we don't ##### to others about anything that matters. So ladies let us ##### to our friends and let it go. We let yours go.
I think some of you are blowing minor issues worth #####ing about but not fighting about out of proportion.Tonio said:
Let's use a different example:
"I'm exhausted! Bob snored all night long and I couldn't get a wink of sleep!"
"Stu snores like a freight train. It's so awful some nights that I go sleep on the couch."
"Yeah, and then you tell them they were snoring and they go, no I wasn't!"
"Then the next morning they say, honey you look tired - didn't you sleep well last night?"
"ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!"
Was that better? Or do we now want to have a discussion about how snoring is latent hostility and the snorer should seek counseling?
THANK YOU!!!! FINALLY someone understands the question!!!!The_King said:
migtig
aka Mrs. Giant
elaine said:
If there are other issues, like a failure to communicate over a misunderstanding, something hurt my feelings, or somebody lied or something even more serious - okay that's worth getting upset about and wanting to bring to the table and discuss. However, taking out the trash? Or not making up the bed, or a comment that wasn't meant to be hurtful? Those aren't worth me even worrying about. I asked somebody once several times and reminded them several times in different ways that I needed my shower head changed. It never happened. But I never got pissed off about it. I never biyatched about it. It isn't important in the grand scheme. And the things that do bother me - I want to discuss with THAT person, not with someone else.
I hope not because I'm genuinely curious what men's beefs about us are. Normal things that most women do, not whoring around, using drugs, slapping him or abnormal crap like that.elaine said:
"Man, my wife talks constantly. She's like this communication machine that has to have a running dialog about every single little thing. She must think I care what color the cat's crap was.
""Yeah, I have problems with my wife, too. She's effed my neighbor, my brother and my best friend. Then she cleaned out our bank account and took off for Ocean City with her sister's boyfriend.
"See the difference?
kwillia
n/a
Let's use Mig's example except she's not visiting him, they actually live together:elaine said:
He's watching tv, while I am cleaning up in the kitchen, putting away clean dishes, rinsing off the dirty ones, and I see the trash is overflowing. I look at it for a second or two and then pick up the trash, take it to the bin, and put in a new liner.
I've no problem with that scenerio as described. However, should Tonio come in from the den and pile his empty soda bottles, paper plates and chip bags on top of the trash that is already at it's limits and keep on treaking... I'd have a problem with that.
In the case I described, I'd speak up immediately and point out that I'd like him to fix the trash overflow problem.
Let's jump ahead a few weeks or so to girls night out on the deck at Clarke's Landing... the subject of men comes up and we use this time to vent about annoyances that get under our skin. If the trash scenerio is typical, it would be an annoyance I'd find worthy of biatching about because I already know he will continue to not rub two thoughts together about switching out trashbags rather than overflowing them, he's already proven that, so rather than keep that little resentment inside, I feel better venting and getting it out of my system.
Does that help...:shrug:
Tonio
Asperger's Poster Child
Vrai, the snoring one is a good example of minor stuff. If the snorer knows he has a problem and acknowledges that it makes it hard for the other to sleep, then it's no biggie.
But it can become major if the snorer habitually belittles the other's complaint, or if the other doesn't complain to the snorer but only to her friends. Or suppose there's a medical reason for the snoring, and the snorer becomes defensive whenever the other brings up medical treatment. (I know someone who becomes defensive over health issues in general, and "forgets" to show up for doctor's appointments.) Again, the snoring would be a battleground over deeper issues.
But it can become major if the snorer habitually belittles the other's complaint, or if the other doesn't complain to the snorer but only to her friends. Or suppose there's a medical reason for the snoring, and the snorer becomes defensive whenever the other brings up medical treatment. (I know someone who becomes defensive over health issues in general, and "forgets" to show up for doctor's appointments.) Again, the snoring would be a battleground over deeper issues.
MysticalMom
Witchy Woman
The_King said:I don't complain to my friends much, but if I did, the complaints would come from the following:
Men and women perceive things differently such as: She won't SEE the things you do around the house. Therefore you never did them. She won't HEAR everything you say so she'll fill in the blanks herself and then give you hell about things you never said. If you try to say anything in your defense that just drags out her #####ing and moaning. So we keep our mouths shut.
When we're in the company of someone with a sympathetic ear (i.e. someone else with a wife) we sometimes take the opportunity to vent.
This venting only occurs when it's something little we know we can't talk to our wife about. Because of course, she ill be right, we will be wrong until you're listening to her #####ing again.
As for you guys #####ing about your sports getting interrupted, not being able to find the remote and that sort of thing, you probably deserve whatever it is your #####ing about.
Ladies, simple. If you don't want your man #####ing about you, learn to listen once in a while.
Seriously though, we don't ##### to others about anything that matters. So ladies let us ##### to our friends and let it go. We let yours go.
Yeah well, at least your not #####ing about not getting any.
Tonio
Asperger's Poster Child
cattitude said:
Why not? It wouldn't be the trash itself - it could be anything that his wife asks him to do but he doesn't want to do, either because he hates the task or because he perceives her as ordering him around. So instead of being a man and discussing the issue, he practices avoidance and "forgets" to take out the trash or simply ignores it.
MysticalMom
Witchy Woman
MysticalMom said:
Yeah well, at least your not #####ing about not getting any.
THAT'S BECAUSE IT DOES NO GOOD!
He sounds like mine and Larry's old counselor.kwillia said:
MysticalMom
Witchy Woman
MysticalMom said:
Ummmmm... sign yourself in next time.
TYVM.
P.S. Now would be the time to think about that 2nd computer.
Cowgirl
Well-Known Member
migtig said:
I wouldn't have a problem with doing this every once in a while, but when it gets to be every time, it is very annoying. I have a deal w/ BF...I'll put the laundry in the washer, move it to the dryer, and then fold it all.....but I have asked him to put it away. It ends up sitting in the basket waiting to be put away for DAYS and DAYS before he actually does it. AND....I end up having to remind him several times to actually put it away. It's not that he forgets....because it's sitting right there in the living room, where we spend most of our time. He procrastinates because he is stubborn, and he doesn't want to do something that I've asked him to do. He's like a damned cat...he only wants to do something if it's HIS idea...he wants to think he did it because it was his idea, not because I asked him.
So now, I just let the clothes pile up....we'll see how long this lasts. I put my own clothes away, but his stuff and the kids' clothes are sitting on the love seat in the living room. I would guess there are about 6 loads worth out there. Every morning he has to go into the living room to find clothes to wear. I can guarantee this won't last much longer...I'll probably explode and he'll say "Stop nagging me." Ok...sorry, got into ##### mode there. But, you see my point. Every now and then I'll do one of 'his' chores...but I'm not going to do them all the time, or else he'll take advantage of that. :shrug: